Corrupt Wish

[TheEarl]

You change your AV to your real face and she kisses you til you faint, but she writes up your love/sex life as part of the Worst Chain Story Ever.

I wish I could visit all my Lit. pals in the U.K.

Perdita

Sorry Pear, I'd forgotten you'd asked for the av change. Will get onto that now. Your wish is granted, but we all turn out to be horrible people and you can't get away again.

I wish that these bloody hoverflies would go away.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

I wish that these bloody hoverflies would go away.

Granted. They've gone but it's now winter and you're behind in all your course work and your gf is really pissed off.

I wish I were an fine actress and could play Shakespeare's Cleopatra with the Antony of my choice.

p.s. great AV
--------------
Hoverfly
Volucella bombylans
Although these brightly-coloured insects look like bees or wasps, they are in fact true flies and do not sting. Hoverflies are excellent examples of Batesian mimicry (named after H W Bates who first described it in 1862). They generally mimic bees and wasps – insects that sting and also taste unpleasant, so are avoided by predators. Drone-flies mimic honey bees, Volucella bombylans has several different forms mimicking bumblebees, while others species are very convincing wasp mimics.

There are about 250 different hoverfly species in Britain. You can generally see plenty of adults on flowers throughout spring, summer and autumn. Hoverfly larvae are varied too – some even resemble small slugs. They all have different feeding habits. For example they may eat plants, feed on rotting wood and fungi, attack bulbs or parasitise other insects. More well known and welcome in the garden are those that eat aphids and other pests eg Syrphus spp. Rat-tailed maggots, larvae of the dronefly Eristalis tenax, are found in polluted pools and extend their tail breathing tubes to the surface to breathe.

 

[TheEarl]

But I needed that wish. You have no idea what I've been through the last few days. It's been boiling hot, the sun's splitting the flagstones, the sea is down the ned of my road and my lady is down for the weekend so plenty of nice walks are possible and we're barricaded indoors with windows and doors shut so that we don't get overrun. Literal swarm, as in you could barely step out the front door.

Granted, but you only get one performance. You're a method actress and consider it your duty to die at the end of the play.

I wish my novel was twice as good as it is right now.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

My wish is for wings that work.

Abs I'll grant you that one, one string attached. If you stay. You'll always be an angel to me.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but you only get one performance. You're a method actress and consider it your duty to die at the end of the play.

I'm going to let someone else grant your wish, but wanted to say: though I do not care for 'the method', it doesn't mean one plays a part 'for real', only that one uses 'real life' experiences to 'act' (or 'act out' is usally the case). That's why I'd choose my Ant. carefully, I'd need to 'really' mean it when I say stuff like, "Oh! my oblivion is a very Antony".

Pear

 

[gauchecritic]

I wish my novel was twice as good as it is right now.

The Earl

Granted, (I'll avoid the obvious viciousness) but it's also twice the length and height and no one can carry it out of the shop.

I wish I heard of The Streets before everyone else.

Gauche

 

[TheEarl]

Gauche: Granted, but from now on, then only words you can say is "You're fit, but don't you just know it."

God I hated that song. The new one's so much better.

I wish I could write fiction to the same quality as Christopher Brookmyre.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

I wish I could write fiction to the same quality as Christopher Brookmyre.

Done, but now you and Brookmyre will be equal and boring and your gf will still be pissed off.

I wish I could wear high-heels comfortably (out of bed) for more than five minutes.

Pear

 

[TheEarl]

I wish I could wear high-heels comfortably (out of bed) for more than five minutes.

Not going to grant this, cause I've granted far too much (can you tell I'm bored?), but just wanted to say that bracketed bit made I larf .

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Th.E: I love your hat more than Ogg's hat. I would love you even if you really did look like that bloke. Glad you had a larf.

Pear

 

[TheEarl]

What do you mean if I looked like my av?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

What do you mean if I looked like my av?

Ok then. Your gf and I will have to duel. Tell her I choose spiked heels.

P.

 

[TheEarl]

I wish my Lady had the perfect weapon to counter spiked heels.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

I wish my Lady had the perfect weapon to counter spiked heels.

Awk! I just got it. You're calling her your Lady cos you're an earl, or The Earl. I was getting worried, i.e., no 19 year old male should be calling his gf his lady, even if he is one of those femmey U.K. blokes.

Pear

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

(I must preface this response by saying I don't know who the fuck you're talking about. Unless you're talking about Ariel Sharon, in which case: HUH?)

Brush up on your greek mythology my dear. Charon was the gaunt rowman who ferried the dead souls to the Underworld. He never had a wife in the mythology and basically worked his entire immortal life. So he got the tough breaks.

Now for The Earl. Granted but it's pure armor that she can never remove so you can never have sex with her again.

I wish for international communism to come out of retirement and produce a great metal album with the recently reunited Van Halen, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, and Black Sabbath.

 

[Weird Harold]

I wish I could wear high-heels comfortably (out of bed) for more than five minutes.

Granted.

However, you will be plagued by debilitating leg cramps whenever you are not wearing the highest and sexiest heels possible EXCEPT when you are in bed, where any footwear will generate the cramps. Further, your employer will transfer you to a position where high-heels are unsafe to wear.

I wish every politician in the world and anyone with a hint of political aspirations should speak nothing but the complete and unvarnished truth.

 

[doormouse]

Granted.


I wish every politician in the world and anyone with a hint of political aspirations should speak nothing but the complete and unvarnished truth.

Granted, but you will find that your political leader is gay and his party promises were only to get the mardi gras to become a national holiday. Part of his political scheme was to force business men to wear pink suits and make-up at mardi gras time. His definition of social security was to corrupt the free world to wear pantyhose at every occasion and women to take a second place in the public eye unless they had a sex change operation so that 90% of the populated world had a penis.

Elections were to become a public celebration of the free world.



I wish periods and PMS never existed.

 

[doormouse]

Damn!! From now on I'm going to scroll to the end of the thread before responding to a lit email LOL

Carry on...

 

[Guest]

I wish for international communism to come out of retirement and produce a great metal album with the recently reunited Van Halen, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, and Black Sabbath.

granted:
however, david lee roth and sammy hagar get into a knock down drag out fight before falling madly in love. the two of them decide to be co-lead singers and the future of metal music is abolished due to lawsuits from parents of children who have been afflicted by bleeding ear syndrom caused by sammy and david's caterwalling.

i wish
that someone would rewrite gone with the wind as a comedy with rene zellwiger as scarlet and woody allen as rhett

 

[Weird Harold]

i wish
that someone would rewrite gone with the wind as a comedy with rene zellwiger as scarlet and woody allen as rhett

Some wishes should not be granted, even to pervert and corrupt them.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Some wishes should not be granted, even to pervert and corrupt them.

after some thought.. i hafta agree with ya dahlin... so scratch that wish.

 

[Guest]

Granted, but all the employees displaced by the collapse of the feminine hygiene products industry have become telemarketers and door-to-door salemen. You spend the rest of your life answering the phone or the door.

I wish I could afford a thrid car, a little two-seater convertible, just for me and the mrs. to tool around in.

granted:
but both seats are phallic shaped and now you have hemmoroids that even the best surgeons are reluctant to operate on... and every road you drive on is under construction....

 

[doormouse]

Hey Vella, what's your wish damn it?

I wanna hang your hiney from my front door as a knocker

 

[Guest]