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Mom never could figure out what a nine year old was doing with the roll of masking tape and Barbies. I told her I was playing doctor and fixing broken ankles and wrists.
It wasn't until this past year I finally realized that was the first visible sign of what I really wanted in my life.
A whiff of a fresh roll of masking tape can still make me bite back a moan.
 
I'm not really into control, but she is, (among other things) so I wrote this story for her...how did I do?
 
I'm not really into control, but she is, (among other things) so I wrote this story for her...how did I do?
Um.

Obviously this is just my one person's subjective opinion buuuuut-
I think it's going to be hard for her to associate with the sub (ipso facto be aroused by it) when literally 9/10ths of the text and all the detail and effort is invested into the gay erotica rather than the woman.

It reads not just like you're writing from ignorance of exploiting D/s or S/m mentalities (which I wouldn't rate as a negative anyway since it's expected) but also just storytelling in general.
It's like...if I were reading Lord of the Rings I don't really want to be reading of the battle between the Fellowship and the Sauron's right hand through the eyes of a nameless soldier of Gondor on the wall of the city-state do I?

Honestly though for all I know this might be the best story she's ever read since I don't know what she likes or what she's going to make of the perspective. I get the impression she likes Man-on-man and being tied up, but this story is heavily one-sided in its content.
 
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