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I've watched a few Domme/slave-make sub videos and didn't like. What they said or how they treated them. Even if the sub enjoys that. I couldn't do that to someone

No! No cruelty at all. It's a journey of finding what kink ones partner may have and want to explore. Certainly no cruelty.

I'll give you an example. I once met a lover in Dallas. As things progressed, she had me begging. It wasn't cruel at all. She found herself in a controlling "position" and found that she liked it. It was new for her. And she teased, God did she tease.
It was very erotic and she and I both grew from it.

And all of that changes over time.
 
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I've watched a few Domme/slave-make sub videos and didn't like. What they said or how they treated them. Even if the sub enjoys that. I couldn't do that to someone

I can never watch bdsm videos and get off on them. I guess for me, the interest and arousal come from the intimate relationship between me and the other person. Finding and exploring our interests together and forming that special bond with each other.
 
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