Consequences

[Guest]

Men suck, I will rule the world!

<work, work, work>

 

[Guest]

Men suck, I will rule the world!

<work, work, work>

Brother, that is my line.

 

[Guest]

Sorry, Sis. Too many paint fumes I guess.

What do you think of this newest work? I know its all in black and burnt umber but it speaks to me.

Do you ever think about Mom?

 

[Guest]

Do you ever think about Mom?

No, not since I fired her from the Firm.

 

[Guest]

Hey! That's my line. I'm the one in charge here. Go back to whining about all the school bullies, Sue.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

BORING!........................................

Mm, yeah, well..BORING!!!!

NEXT contestant please......................

 

[Guest]

You did no such thing, Martha. It was time for you to make it on your own, so I left of my own accord. Really, you're starting to sound like your brother.

 

[Guest]

I miss that nice guy who fed me and took me for those long walks. This 'Mom' woman is off her rocker.

I can't even get a Milk Bone out of this miser.

 

[Guest]

My work has taken a turn for the better since I left Rehab. I found out I have abandonment issues, which were remedied while under hypnosis.

Now all I can remember is the time Mom never picked me up from Soccer practice.

Where are my paints?

 

[Guest]

Percy, your little boy toy is acting up again. Could you please keep Phantom's mouth busy? He's rather a tiresome brute otherwise.

 

[Guest]

Yeah, and I wish you'd take another "long walk" and not make it back home. You keep napping in all the good sunny places.

 

[Guest]

Its too bad 'Mom' went off to the asylum. Things looked to be going so smoothly between her and 'Dad', until that fateful day.

 

[Guest]

One time. One stinking time! I was in the middle of a closing. And the soccer field was two blocks from our house dear. I thought you'd be able to walk the distance by yourself just that one time. After all, you were 12.

 

[Guest]

Yes, but that was an important day and you blew me off. Sara (remember her?) had agreed to go with me to the dance that night, even after the rest of the team called me 'paint boy' all through practice.

You never showed and Sara said she didnt want to go with some loser who couldnt give her a ride home.

 

[Guest]

All this money cannot replace my Mother's love. Withdrawn from me just when I needed it.

 

[Guest]

I never withdrew my love for you, Martha. I didn't want to go, I tried everything to stop him from committing me to the asylum. You know what a smooth talker he is. They wouldn't listen to me. I never meant to leave you. *sob*

And Percy, you were interested in Sara? I never knew. I had just naturally assumed, what with all those George Michael and New Kids on the Block posters, that she wouldn't be, um, your type.

 

[Guest]

<tears welling>

Mom, I'm so sorry. Things have become so out of sorts. I love you more than you can know.

<a warm embrace>


*Thinking to herself....If only she had never dissed Dad.

 

[Guest]

Mom,

If you hadnt been so cold when I was young, shutting me out; I may have had Debbie Gibson posters.

I forgive you, I know you were looking to do your best. Its not your fault you became addicted to painkillers after that Stairmaster accident.

<warm embrace>

Thinking to himself.....If only she had never dissed Dad. How I rue that fateful day.

 

[Guest]

<returning embrace>

Ah, now this is what a good old fashioned American family should be like. I love you, too, Martha. Come here, Percy! Group hug time!

*Thinking to herself...we're completely disfunctional, we keep our true emotions under wrap, but at least we can spend the holidays together*

 

[Guest]

I really miss that dog.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Percy, your little boy toy is acting up again. Could you please keep Phantom's mouth busy? He's rather a tiresome brute otherwise.

Dagnabbit! (Now WHERE did I put my box of thermal nuclear devices? I just had 'em! Damn!)