boredhornymale
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2005
- Posts
- 12
hello everyone. am here, not really said much on here. but here goes.
i came on here for many reasons. advice is one of them.
my story.
this year has been quite a muddle for me.althou i have had some fun, i have also had some bad times too.
its started with the break up with my wife at end of last year. and then i started seeing other ppl.due to the financial climates, neither me nor wife could afford to buy each other out, so we stayed put. we still live in the same house, althou separate rooms.
i never brought any of the women i was seeing back to the house when my wife was there. and that was only after she left and went to stay at her friends for just under two months.
at this point i had a as what ppl say as a fuck buddy, i had a couple to be fair. i had stopped seeing the lady in leeds as i was becoming more ill with what was suspected as fibromyalgia(which has now been confirmed).
and started seeing a lady a little closer to home.
we had agreed no strings attached etc, and things were ok. then she became demanding and started the nasty side when she not get her own way. nasty as in say she would meet me and then later the nite her boyfriend for the evening would text. and then she would say oh sorry. you know. head games material. mind you, she is only 19.and a scorpio
she fell pregnant, with me having a child already this became as a pressure as i not really been able to look after my child properly from my car accident several years ago.neither of us were stable and to be fair it was nt the exact time, i only knew her a couple of months.even thou i disagree with abortions, it was talked about and suggested. and then carried out.
however soon after she fell pregnant again.i was dubious to it and still am as if she wasnt with me she was with another man and the rest is is only known to them. so my heads in limbo still from this. to this day she still tells me its my child and so on, but with it she gives me so much shit and i just dont need it.she concieved around the 26th may.i havent slept with her since end of may.
i got talking to a new lady. this was on the 24th may. althou i didnt meet her in person til 14th june.we talked and talked fell into each other in mad ways and became sort of inseperable over a period of time. she knew all of my past evrything, i told her, not really much more to say to her apart from my upbringing and so on, but our pasts are very alike, and things we have in common are unbelievable.
i guess we were psychicly connected too, there are times when i could tell her what she was doing, or what she was wearing. could even hear her talk to me.
i would text her afterwards and ask if thats what she had said and it was always rite. i could tell when she was gonna be in a situation and to look out. like in the pub i text her and told her to look out for guy in green shirt.
she text back saying how the hell did you know that. i dont know. somethings i just do know.it was a love i never had experienced nor known before. it was amazing.and she is a leo. as she said. very compatible.
one night i was bed bound and due to my illness couldnt really do much, my whole right hand side was dead and i couldnt move. that evening i was also quite upset too. things werent going to well and so on. my wife seduced me. if thats what you class it as. i said no. and i tried so hard to get her off me. but i couldnt. and the ineveitable happened.
i told her straight away and she said she already knew. she had this awful feeling in her stomach. and she knew.
she said i was different and if it was any other male she would have sent them packing.but me she didnt. she kicked off a little later that afternoon. yet we sorted it out with reassurance and cuddles.
from there, things were mad, she used to come down and see me quite often, but now she came more. we had some arguments but to me these were all because i was here and she was at work, sometimes i couldnt get to her, cos of losing driving licence but she still come down over a 100 mile one way to see me. sometimes twice maybe three times a week. thats if i wasn't going back with her and staying at hers.
she wrote me a letter and gave it to me. i read it, and we just kissed and cuddled, it was about how she felt about me,
it was a sweet read, with words as. no matter what i say or do i will always love you, and no one will ever compare.
and that she would fight for me, wether she wanted me to or not. i dont get rid of a blonde cockney bitch that easy.lol
it made me smile and cleared the air in my eyes.as well as hers too.
she spoke about me leaving here asd she not like the situation of me still living with my wife, but to me i was trying to find out if everything was pure on both sides and wether it was love or not.
about a week ago, we had had arguemnts. couple more than usual but over the last month a distance became between us, she was pretty pist with work and i was a little upset from what specialist had told me. i know the arguments were because all we wanted were to comfort each other. but nonetheless they were sorted again and sat nite, again she told me she loved me.
sunday i called in morning, wanted to know if she was coming down to see meshe said she was skint, and i said i would pay all the costs, she wanted to take her kids out and said she would be down monday when she could get to the bank.
i called her in the afternoon to see how she was and if hse had a good day out with the children. and i heard music and voices, i asked if she was in the pub and she said yes.
i said i thought you said you were going out with the kids, and and argument started, all i said was what she had told me earlier on in the day and that last time we spoke she was on about not having much time with children cos of work and wanted to spend more time with them.and i added, yet you come home and go straight to the pub.
she said right thats it, and put fone down.
i tried all of sunday to speak with her by text. i sent a fair few, she sent a couple back, many go away and leave me alone.
monday i tried to speak with her, as to me this is just a silly argument. she not wanna know. isent her a text saying fine. i will just drive your car back up. she said dont bother,
there are times before when i have told her that am ill and not to bother coming, yet she always has. i know she is upset. so i drove, i know am banned, but i went five counties to just to prove my love to this one girl.
the drive killed me and i was told by her sister she was with another man.
2 hrs later she decided to meet me and we talked.
i told her hw i felt, christ she saw it too. i told her everything, tried to clear any other problems up the lot.
she said i dont trust you. i dont love you and i still think you screwing your wife and the girl thats pregnant.
i aint. the only time anything happened was when i was taken by my wife. and she knew about it. we had gotten over that.
i held her and she kinda held me back and then said she was going out and i had to go. i got in car and asked what to do with it. she said keep it, i said i dont want the car. i want you.
there was a pause as we both looked at eah other. and she said well i dont want you.
i left. in tears and broken.
this girl was everything to me. my inspiration to get up in morning. everything.
i text her on way back.
there was mud in the road to and the car skidded towards the back of the car infront and i pulled steering left. i ended up in a ditch.
no problems with car thou. just me, still in pain now. i got a jarring in my back and neck. anyhow later that nite i finally got home.
i text her to tell her and apologised for eevrything.
i spoken to her on fone and she just said it was all over.
i spoke to her again on tues morning, still in the same boat.
i also went thru the chat log on the pc and sent her a copy of it to prove that i was only seeing her with the dates of the pregnancy from the other girl
i sent her several emails. poured my hear and feeling onto paper for 6.5hours and sent that too. also with a ring i had bought her. was kinda personalised as the markings were in her initials and had a nice ruby set into 18ct gold.
it wasnt as a proposal. both of us are technically still married. but separated from our partners. it was to wear round her neck on a chain so i would always be close to her heart.
i sent them special delivery so she will have got them yesterday.
am sure i heard her read out some other letter i wrote out last nite when i was alone in my thougths, its been true all the others times... althou am not so sure now. i have done all i can and there is nothing more i can do.
i did the emails, the snail mail and the texts, i did the calls and apologised.
but to me this is all over some lethargic argument.
i found the letter she ahd wrote which was what some of my letter was based on. i havent spoken to her since tuesday.
i feel as if another part of me is dead.
i feel lost and nausios.
do you think she will come back to me? i spoken to a few ppl and some say yes some say no. i hear in my head that she will and she just needs some time. althou to be fair i am classing it as that i have lost her.
that way i wont get my heart broken a 2nd time.
i came on here for many reasons. advice is one of them.
my story.
this year has been quite a muddle for me.althou i have had some fun, i have also had some bad times too.
its started with the break up with my wife at end of last year. and then i started seeing other ppl.due to the financial climates, neither me nor wife could afford to buy each other out, so we stayed put. we still live in the same house, althou separate rooms.
i never brought any of the women i was seeing back to the house when my wife was there. and that was only after she left and went to stay at her friends for just under two months.
at this point i had a as what ppl say as a fuck buddy, i had a couple to be fair. i had stopped seeing the lady in leeds as i was becoming more ill with what was suspected as fibromyalgia(which has now been confirmed).
and started seeing a lady a little closer to home.
we had agreed no strings attached etc, and things were ok. then she became demanding and started the nasty side when she not get her own way. nasty as in say she would meet me and then later the nite her boyfriend for the evening would text. and then she would say oh sorry. you know. head games material. mind you, she is only 19.and a scorpio
she fell pregnant, with me having a child already this became as a pressure as i not really been able to look after my child properly from my car accident several years ago.neither of us were stable and to be fair it was nt the exact time, i only knew her a couple of months.even thou i disagree with abortions, it was talked about and suggested. and then carried out.
however soon after she fell pregnant again.i was dubious to it and still am as if she wasnt with me she was with another man and the rest is is only known to them. so my heads in limbo still from this. to this day she still tells me its my child and so on, but with it she gives me so much shit and i just dont need it.she concieved around the 26th may.i havent slept with her since end of may.
i got talking to a new lady. this was on the 24th may. althou i didnt meet her in person til 14th june.we talked and talked fell into each other in mad ways and became sort of inseperable over a period of time. she knew all of my past evrything, i told her, not really much more to say to her apart from my upbringing and so on, but our pasts are very alike, and things we have in common are unbelievable.
i guess we were psychicly connected too, there are times when i could tell her what she was doing, or what she was wearing. could even hear her talk to me.
i would text her afterwards and ask if thats what she had said and it was always rite. i could tell when she was gonna be in a situation and to look out. like in the pub i text her and told her to look out for guy in green shirt.she text back saying how the hell did you know that. i dont know. somethings i just do know.it was a love i never had experienced nor known before. it was amazing.and she is a leo. as she said. very compatible.
one night i was bed bound and due to my illness couldnt really do much, my whole right hand side was dead and i couldnt move. that evening i was also quite upset too. things werent going to well and so on. my wife seduced me. if thats what you class it as. i said no. and i tried so hard to get her off me. but i couldnt. and the ineveitable happened.
i told her straight away and she said she already knew. she had this awful feeling in her stomach. and she knew.
she said i was different and if it was any other male she would have sent them packing.but me she didnt. she kicked off a little later that afternoon. yet we sorted it out with reassurance and cuddles.
from there, things were mad, she used to come down and see me quite often, but now she came more. we had some arguments but to me these were all because i was here and she was at work, sometimes i couldnt get to her, cos of losing driving licence but she still come down over a 100 mile one way to see me. sometimes twice maybe three times a week. thats if i wasn't going back with her and staying at hers.
she wrote me a letter and gave it to me. i read it, and we just kissed and cuddled, it was about how she felt about me,
it was a sweet read, with words as. no matter what i say or do i will always love you, and no one will ever compare.
and that she would fight for me, wether she wanted me to or not. i dont get rid of a blonde cockney bitch that easy.lol
it made me smile and cleared the air in my eyes.as well as hers too.
she spoke about me leaving here asd she not like the situation of me still living with my wife, but to me i was trying to find out if everything was pure on both sides and wether it was love or not.
about a week ago, we had had arguemnts. couple more than usual but over the last month a distance became between us, she was pretty pist with work and i was a little upset from what specialist had told me. i know the arguments were because all we wanted were to comfort each other. but nonetheless they were sorted again and sat nite, again she told me she loved me.
sunday i called in morning, wanted to know if she was coming down to see meshe said she was skint, and i said i would pay all the costs, she wanted to take her kids out and said she would be down monday when she could get to the bank.
i called her in the afternoon to see how she was and if hse had a good day out with the children. and i heard music and voices, i asked if she was in the pub and she said yes.
i said i thought you said you were going out with the kids, and and argument started, all i said was what she had told me earlier on in the day and that last time we spoke she was on about not having much time with children cos of work and wanted to spend more time with them.and i added, yet you come home and go straight to the pub.
she said right thats it, and put fone down.
i tried all of sunday to speak with her by text. i sent a fair few, she sent a couple back, many go away and leave me alone.
monday i tried to speak with her, as to me this is just a silly argument. she not wanna know. isent her a text saying fine. i will just drive your car back up. she said dont bother,
there are times before when i have told her that am ill and not to bother coming, yet she always has. i know she is upset. so i drove, i know am banned, but i went five counties to just to prove my love to this one girl.
the drive killed me and i was told by her sister she was with another man.
2 hrs later she decided to meet me and we talked.
i told her hw i felt, christ she saw it too. i told her everything, tried to clear any other problems up the lot.
she said i dont trust you. i dont love you and i still think you screwing your wife and the girl thats pregnant.
i aint. the only time anything happened was when i was taken by my wife. and she knew about it. we had gotten over that.
i held her and she kinda held me back and then said she was going out and i had to go. i got in car and asked what to do with it. she said keep it, i said i dont want the car. i want you.
there was a pause as we both looked at eah other. and she said well i dont want you.
i left. in tears and broken.
this girl was everything to me. my inspiration to get up in morning. everything.
i text her on way back.
there was mud in the road to and the car skidded towards the back of the car infront and i pulled steering left. i ended up in a ditch.
no problems with car thou. just me, still in pain now. i got a jarring in my back and neck. anyhow later that nite i finally got home.
i text her to tell her and apologised for eevrything.
i spoken to her on fone and she just said it was all over.
i spoke to her again on tues morning, still in the same boat.
i also went thru the chat log on the pc and sent her a copy of it to prove that i was only seeing her with the dates of the pregnancy from the other girl
i sent her several emails. poured my hear and feeling onto paper for 6.5hours and sent that too. also with a ring i had bought her. was kinda personalised as the markings were in her initials and had a nice ruby set into 18ct gold.
it wasnt as a proposal. both of us are technically still married. but separated from our partners. it was to wear round her neck on a chain so i would always be close to her heart.
i sent them special delivery so she will have got them yesterday.
am sure i heard her read out some other letter i wrote out last nite when i was alone in my thougths, its been true all the others times... althou am not so sure now. i have done all i can and there is nothing more i can do.
i did the emails, the snail mail and the texts, i did the calls and apologised.
but to me this is all over some lethargic argument.
i found the letter she ahd wrote which was what some of my letter was based on. i havent spoken to her since tuesday.
i feel as if another part of me is dead.
i feel lost and nausios.
do you think she will come back to me? i spoken to a few ppl and some say yes some say no. i hear in my head that she will and she just needs some time. althou to be fair i am classing it as that i have lost her.
that way i wont get my heart broken a 2nd time.
