Confessions: What Are Yours?

[GrnEyedGrl]

sounds like a plan.

my wife had set it up with the other wife they had planned it all out. came to find out that she had never told her husband about it after four hours my wife finally said ok are we going to fuck or not if not you need to leave because i am horny. the man said what?

they left soon after.

OH MY! How could you do all that and not tell your husband? Wow.....well, still glad you got some, but I bet it made for a rather awkward night!

 

[AnitaMann]

ICT: I heard from a friend today that I haven't heard from in a while. It was nice, and it made me smile.
I've been missing my BBG so much, and my other friend helped me through a lonely evening.

 

[GrnEyedGrl]

I'm so new to it, I'm not sure if they do.

In our case, we used to swing with this couple for years.
Other woman wanted me to leave with her, I said no.
She left, leaving her hubby devastated.
He became my best friend, while we still had 3 sums.
I found emails between the two of them expressing feelings beyond casual sex, meanwhile I was going through a spiritual renaisance.
I accepted their feelings for each other and came to realize we are capable of loving more than one person at a time.

The problem lies, in the odd person out being made to feel less important. I have lost in this transaction, because she is expending emotional energy on him that I'm not benefitting from. This isn't his fault or problem, it's for me and wifey to work out.

That could be balanced if I had another woman to replace those debits, but I don't have a desire to go look for one. And I doubt wifey could be as accepting of my external interests. I do have a girl I fool around with occasionally, but very F.B.ish. As silly as it sounds, I love my wife enormously and all I want is her happiness, therefore I'm not gonna stress her unduly. I just have to get her to understand my P.O.V..

If she keeps me happy, considers my feelings when he's around, then I am happy that she has another person to help me fulfill her. And fill her.

It's unknown territory and we have to work on it. 2 steps back and 3 steps forward. But I hope it will last for years to come.
Sorry for the ramble.

Another reasoning that they can last is because the consensual adults participating in any poly relationship are mature enough to understand what they are getting in to and are able and willing to discuss their feelings and set emotions and jealousy aside. I have heard it said many, many times... "It is not for everyone." Some people make it work, are happy, and absolutely love the abundance of attention and love they get from multiple partners. Other's can't get past the attitude of posession and monogamy. Monogamy is historically a man-made institution that was brought about by religion and modern society. Humans are not scientifically meant to be monogamous. Most humans just let their minds be controlled by the generations before them who tell them that you should only ever be with one person. Any poly relationship is a state of mind. A state which many peopled do not, and never will understand. Furthermore, it is a state that many people choose to judge negatively without respecting those who are in that sort of relationship.

 

[TallMan60]

Another reasoning that they can last is because the consensual adults participating in any poly relationship are mature enough to understand what they are getting in to and are able and willing to discuss their feelings and set emotions and jealousy aside. I have heard it said many, many times... "It is not for everyone." Some people make it work, are happy, and absolutely love the abundance of attention and love they get from multiple partners. Other's can't get past the attitude of posession and monogamy. Monogamy is historically a man-made institution that was brought about by religion and modern society. Humans are not scientifically meant to be monogamous. Most humans just let their minds be controlled by the generations before them who tell them that you should only ever be with one person. Any poly relationship is a state of mind. A state which many peopled do not, and never will understand. Furthermore, it is a state that many people choose to judge negatively without respecting those who are in that sort of relationship.

I'm certainly interested in exploring a poly lifestyle, and have talked about this with my wife, but I think one of the main issues is simply time. I don't have enough time right now to do the things I need to, and we have small kids, so spending time seeking or maintaining another lover seems pretty unfair. Maybe this is something that we can do in 5-10 years though. It really does interest me, but I would only want to do it with her blessing and participation.

 

[Arianthe]

I'm certainly interested in exploring a poly lifestyle, and have talked about this with my wife, but I think one of the main issues is simply time. I don't have enough time right now to do the things I need to, and we have small kids, so spending time seeking or maintaining another lover seems pretty unfair. Maybe this is something that we can do in 5-10 years though. It really does interest me, but I would only want to do it with her blessing and participation.

It's only possible with her blessing and participation. Without it, you are just screwing around on her.

 

[wantonknowledge]

Not time for...

ICT for the first time in ages, I've abstained from masturbation for nearly a week due to being extremely busy

IFCT I would like to break this trend but really still don't have time to remedy the situation

ICT I'll try to work that in later today

ICT I've been too busy to visit Lit, as well, and I miss regular contact with my friends here

 

[kaycee217]

I confess that I'm smitten...

 

[glasspenguin]

All this talk about poly-amorous relationships has got me to thinking (well, actually I was thinking before that, but it just made me consider a different angle).

I confess that "love", for me, is a particularly difficult emotion to grapple with- not that it isn't for everyone else too, but I think I'm especially hard on myself and others when it comes to my relationships.
I have many friends. I have several very close friends. I have people that I consider to be akin to family and I love them dearly. But to actually "love" someone, intimately... That's another matter entirely...

I've never been good at expressing my emotions, particularly those of affection. I've had so many bad experiences that I've reached a point of high select-ism (not sure if that's a word, but I'll use it anyway). There are very, very few people that I honestly "love". Why I feel the way I do for them I couldn't possibly explain. There are others I have felt that way about, but for whatever reason they have lost it. The number on either side can be counted on one hand, which is probably an incredibly small sum for 25 years of experience.

Okay, this is rambling, so let's see if I can wrap this up quickly and appropriately:

ICT I have loved very few people intimately.

ICT of those few the number has gotten smaller.

ICT when I do love someone I love them with everything in me to an almost unconditional extent. I give myself to them entirely.

ICT when a person loses my love they never get it back. If you cross me I'll never trust you again. I'm not one to give second chances in that department.

ICT for these reasons, I don't think I could ever even consider a poly-amorous relationship as feasible for my nature.

A very dear friend, who incidentally is poly-amorous, told me the other day that she was impressed by how I "choose" to love someone. She said it seems so much more methodical than most cases. Yes, I suppose it has its benefits. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing...

Sorry for the severe tangent. It's one of those nights, I suppose...

 

[wantonknowledge]

All...

A very dear friend, who incidentally is poly-amorous, told me the other day that she was impressed by how I "choose" to love someone. She said it seems so much more methodical than most cases. Yes, I suppose it has its benefits. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing...

Sorry for the severe tangent. It's one of those nights, I suppose...

ICT I can relate to a good portion of the above post

IFCT the idea of "choosing" to love intrigues me, not for the reason I think most people may be intrigued.
I assume, possibly incorrectly, that most people would say something along the lines,"How can you choose who you love?"
I, however, would argue that in a given situation anyone can choose to love or not to love. That is to say, that love and attraction are not inherently intertwined, as many seem to suspect. Certainly attractiveness factors heavily into the early stages of many relationships, but in the best relationships this is supplanted by love. The unconditional kind of love, that surpasses mere attraction, and in many cases grows even after physical attractiveness has long dissipated exists in many successful life-long relationships.
This love is not always easily attained and must be cultivated through conscientious effort, usually by both parties. This sort of choosing to love sometimes results in the course of arranged marriages, where the parties barely knew each other, if at all, yet after years of shared experience, without the option of easy divorce they must work together to "make it work". Such societal pressure can eventually allow two complete strangers to learn to love each other, sometimes without regard for physical attractiveness. The old adage, "To be loved, be loving and lovable" reflects the idea that each person in a relationship, to an extent, is responsible for the health of that relationship. To cut an already long, drawn-out point short...
If both parties choose to love each other with unwavering determination, in all circumstances, love will eventually grow.

Attraction is not love and love can begin without attraction. Love often leads to attraction (a "love-goggles" effect if you will), but need not, for the love to be strong.

Love, in the unconditional sense, is like most things in life, what you get is largely tied to what you put in. That being said, a couple is, by definition, two people and if one of them is working to further the relationship at 100% and the other is at 0% you still only attain a half-assed relationship, averaging 50% overall. (I wonder if in a poly relationship such averages can be further expanded upon)

I would say that IMHO a couple "choosing" to love 100%, with equally fervent determination to make the relationship succeed at all costs will undoubtedly be successful and will, likely, "fall in love" along the way. This seems far superior to allowing fickle attraction to guide a person in the hope of possibly stumbling blindly into a great relationship.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

OH MY! How could you do all that and not tell your husband? Wow.....well, still glad you got some, but I bet it made for a rather awkward night!

it did make for an awkward evening the talk was a mix of sex and other topics. the jacuzzi was filled and my wife kept hinting we should get in it and have fun. after they left we spent many an hour having fun in the jacuzzi and the bed.



Ict i have spent to much time away from lit.
Ict i am horny right now

 

[glasspenguin]

An amendment to my post from last night...

I confess that there is one person I have this kind of love for and I don't think she'll ever lose it no matter what she says or does. One day I'll have the opportunity to show her exactly how I feel. If she chooses me or not she'll always have my love though.

 

[Loradai]

ICT I am happy to have the evening to myself (hubbie is out) but also a little sad since I don't have anything fun to do

 

[uptoplay2]

nothing?

ICT I am happy to have the evening to myself (hubbie is out) but also a little sad since I don't have anything fun to do

ICT that I'm amazed that you can't come up with anything that would be fun to do alone.... (granted... nothing would be as much fun without company and help)

 

[Loradai]

yeah but I don't want to go out, I am so tired of TV, I think i might just go curl up in bed with a good book. No one seems to be online that I chat with

ICT I have found 2 somthings to keep me busy this evening and am enjoying it VERY much

 

[PolyLvr]

I'm certainly interested in exploring a poly lifestyle, and have talked about this with my wife, but I think one of the main issues is simply time. I don't have enough time right now to do the things I need to, and we have small kids, so spending time seeking or maintaining another lover seems pretty unfair. Maybe this is something that we can do in 5-10 years though. It really does interest me, but I would only want to do it with her blessing and participation.

Time is one of our main problems. Time for us to be alone. Time for her and him to be alone. The compromises cause some problems.

Regarding love:
I believe if there is a connection, you can make yourself love. many years ago when wifey and I were having problems I considered leaving. She had changed and I didn't understand, so I thought about starting over. But I did love her and and I wanted what we'd had. So whenever I thought bitter or negative thoughts I forced myself to consider what we'd had, what I loved about her, and what good qualities she still had. I found myself falling in love with her again. And it turned out she suffered with depression. With changes we were able to rebuild our relationship.

Something I read somewhere; If you want to show someone you love them, don't do what you think they want you too. Try to find out what they want, and do that. Sometimes you can tell the way they want to be treated by the way they treat you.

 

[AnitaMann]

Time is one of our main problems. Time for us to be alone. Time for her and him to be alone. The compromises cause some problems.

Regarding love:
I believe if there is a connection, you can make yourself love. many years ago when wifey and I were having problems I considered leaving. She had changed and I didn't understand, so I thought about starting over. But I did love her and and I wanted what we'd had. So whenever I thought bitter or negative thoughts I forced myself to consider what we'd had, what I loved about her, and what good qualities she still had. I found myself falling in love with her again. And it turned out she suffered with depression. With changes we were able to rebuild our relationship.

Something I read somewhere; If you want to show someone you love them, don't do what you think they want you too. Try to find out what they want, and do that. Sometimes you can tell the way they want to be treated by the way they treat you.

I think time is what ultimately kills or makes relationships of any type work. Unfortunately, this is usually discovered after so much of the damage is done, and you can end up realizing you don't even know the other person anymore. I know for me, in past relationships, it has been the ultimate death sentence...

For what it's worth, I wish you the best!

 

[PolyLvr]

I think time is what ultimately kills or makes relationships of any type work. Unfortunately, this is usually discovered after so much of the damage is done, and you can end up realizing you don't even know the other person anymore. I know for me, in past relationships, it has been the ultimate death sentence...

For what it's worth, I wish you the best!

Thank you.

We'll make it work.

 

[miaction69]

I don't tell even my closest girlfriends who what or when i sex it up with men - some of them think i'm in desperate need of a man and can't work out why I don't bother picking up....i'm rarely without a regular - it kind of turns me on that few people know the deviate me.

 

[wantonknowledge]

ICT I was just wondering where ima6uldv8 has been

ICT I am considering a nap as I continue my quest to rectify the backlog of my procrastination

 

[Malerik]

I confess that I had an extremely vivid dream about my cousin last night. It came out of no where, but was easily one of the hottest dreams I've had in a long time, and yet equally odd since it was my cous involved.

 

[funluvinaj]

ICT i'm feeling a little lost and confused but this too shall pass... off to get some sleep, perhaps that will help.

ICT I wishing and hoping to have the sweet dreams I was wished.

 

[TallMan60]

I don't tell even my closest girlfriends who what or when i sex it up with men - some of them think i'm in desperate need of a man and can't work out why I don't bother picking up....i'm rarely without a regular - it kind of turns me on that few people know the deviate me.

I like this, I love deviates

 

[Arianthe]

ICT I was just wondering where ima6uldv8 has been

ICT I am considering a nap as I continue my quest to rectify the backlog of my procrastination

I'm hoping she is off having a great time with this new guy.

Fingers crossed for her.

 

[maria40]

ICT I miss my old friend. we had fun together

 

[coffeelover5]

ICT I miss my old friend. we had fun together

ICT it might be time to find a new friend