Computer trouble--any ideas?

[CHNOPS]

Hi, GB--

I know some of your are tech-savvy, and I thought you might be able to help me with this. For those who don't know anything about computers, this thread might not be of interest to you.

Here's the problem: Our next door neighbors have a dog that barks and whines all day long while they are gone. I would like to beat him to death with my old Mac G5 tower. Alternatively, I may want to beat the neighbors to death with it while they sleep and take the dog.

When we moved here, I packed the computer away in a box, put it in the basement, and now I can't find it! Computer experts: any idea where I might have put it?

Your assistance greatly appreciated. Thank you and stay welded.

 

[KRCummings]

It's next to your gun.

 

[islandman]

It's right next to the box labeled "Keep For Lance".

 

[Laurel]

Turn it off completely, let it sit, then reboot.

If that doesn't work, jiggle the handle.

 

[CHNOPS]

It's next to your gun.

That's not helpful, KRC. The kids never put that thing back in the same place twice.

 

[Sean]

God damn it, Laurel stole my joke.

 

[CHNOPS]

It's right next to the box labeled "Keep For Lance".

You have one, too? It's been great to have a place to put all my used condoms. I always hated throwing those things out.

 

[CHNOPS]

Turn it off completely, let it sit, then reboot.

If that doesn't work, jiggle the handle.

This sounds like something Sean would pretend he was going to say.

 

[CHNOPS]

God damn it, Laurel stole my joke.

:whistles...taps foot...looks at ceiling...:

 

[tactful]

It's in the box marked "Computer".

 

[oggbashan]

As always, it's in the most inconvenient place, where you'll have to move the greatest number of other things to get at it.

 

[Liar]

I think the system requirements for neighborhood mayhem might be a tad bit higher than a G5. It's not 2005 anymore dude. You need at least a dual core iMac these days. Preferably a quad with upgraded ram.

 

[Disgustipated]

Blow into like an old Nintendo cartridge.

 

[islandman]

Perhaps the all-day whining and barking is the dog's way of complaining about its neighbor.

 

[imalickin]

It's in the last place you will look.

 

[CHNOPS]

It's in the box marked "Computer".

I marked them all "Computer," so if anyone ever tried to rob us, they would have a harder time finding the one box that doesn't have old toddler clothes and the unread copy of "Foolproof Secrets to a Happy Marriage."

 

[Disgustipated]

I marked them all "Computer," so if anyone ever tried to rob us, they would have a harder time finding the one box that doesn't have old toddler clothes and the unread copy of "Foolproof Secrets to a Happy Marriage."

I bet a divorced marriage counselor wrote that book!

 

[CHNOPS]

As always, it's in the most inconvenient place, where you'll have to move the greatest number of other things to get at it.

OK, fuck you. I just poured out the box of rice onto the kitchen floor, and it wasn't at the bottom of those 2,000 pellets. You owe me, pal.

 

[CHNOPS]

I think the system requirements for neighborhood mayhem might be a tad bit higher than a G5. It's not 2005 anymore dude. You need at least a dual core iMac these days. Preferably a quad with upgraded ram.

I hate when my calls get put through to India.

 

[Wings]

Just use the tennis racket that I know is next to your skis and snow sleds.

 

[CHNOPS]

Blow into like an old Nintendo cartridge.

The dog, or the computer?

 

[Liar]

I hate when my calls get put through to India.

Thankyoupleasecallagain.

 

[CHNOPS]

Perhaps the all-day whining and barking is the dog's way of complaining about its neighbor.

Unlikely. The people on the other side of him are really quiet since I beat them to death with the tennis racket I found next to our old skis and snow sleds. Unless you mean....hey!

 

[CHNOPS]

Just use the tennis racket that I know is next to your skis and snow sleds.

I have no idea what you are talking about. There has never been a tennis racket next to those skis and snow sleds. Never.

 

[Wings]

Sonny: The Dexter of the Technology World.