Computer trouble--any ideas?

[Lancecastor]

You have one, too? It's been great to have a place to put all my used condoms. I always hated throwing those things out.

When I was 17, my dad caught me masurbating.

He told me I should save it for marriage.

I invited him over to the house after I got married.

I showed him the 40 gallon drum in the garage and asked: "Okay, now what?"

 

[girlsmiley]

Do you think perhaps the dog ate your computer? Does the dog sometimes flash?
Let me rephrase that.
Does the dog sometimes flash?

Please do not reboot him.

 

[KRCummings]

This reminds me. I threw away an old tower a few weeks ago. I wiped the HD, reinstalled windows, wiped it again, took out he HD and pried it open with a screwdriver and hammer, beat the shit out of it with the hammer, cut up everything with shears and threw the pieces into three different garbage cans. Seriously.
Afterwards I thought maybe I had gone a little overboard but then I thought maybe I hadn't done enough.

 

[Peregrinator]

Hi, GB--

I know some of your are tech-savvy, and I thought you might be able to help me with this. For those who don't know anything about computers, this thread might not be of interest to you.

Here's the problem: Our next door neighbors have a dog that barks and whines all day long while they are gone. I would like to beat him to death with my old Mac G5 tower. Alternatively, I may want to beat the neighbors to death with it while they sleep and take the dog.

When we moved here, I packed the computer away in a box, put it in the basement, and now I can't find it! Computer experts: any idea where I might have put it?

Your assistance greatly appreciated. Thank you and stay welded.

You have one, too? It's been great to have a place to put all my used condoms. I always hated throwing those things out.

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.


Wait.

 

[Liar]

This reminds me. I threw away an old tower a few weeks ago. I wiped the HD, reinstalled windows, wiped it again, took out he HD and pried it open with a screwdriver and hammer, beat the shit out of it with the hammer, cut up everything with shears and threw the pieces into three different garbage cans. Seriously.
Afterwards I thought maybe I had gone a little overboard but then I thought maybe I hadn't done enough.

When in doubt, use propane.

 

[SkAoUt]

This reminds me. I threw away an old tower a few weeks ago. I wiped the HD, reinstalled windows, wiped it again, took out he HD and pried it open with a screwdriver and hammer, beat the shit out of it with the hammer, cut up everything with shears and threw the pieces into three different garbage cans. Seriously.
Afterwards I thought maybe I had gone a little overboard but then I thought maybe I hadn't done enough.

I did that before. Extremely cathartic experience.

Don't think it would have been so satisfying if it was my tower truth be told.

 

[tactful]

This reminds me. I threw away an old tower a few weeks ago. I wiped the HD, reinstalled windows, wiped it again, took out he HD and pried it open with a screwdriver and hammer, beat the shit out of it with the hammer, cut up everything with shears and threw the pieces into three different garbage cans. Seriously.
Afterwards I thought maybe I had gone a little overboard but then I thought maybe I hadn't done enough.

Waste Management Rates for returned goods:

Financial Records : $1.00 per Sheet

Trampoline, Steeler Jersey and other Pictures slightly higher.

 

[CHNOPS]

When I was 17, my dad caught me masurbating.

He told me I should save it for marriage.

I invited him over to the house after I got married.

I showed him the 40 gallon drum in the garage and asked: "Okay, now what?"

L...

Do you think perhaps the dog ate your computer? Does the dog sometimes flash?
Let me rephrase that.
Does the dog sometimes flash?

Please do not reboot him.

...O...

This reminds me. I threw away an old tower a few weeks ago. I wiped the HD, reinstalled windows, wiped it again, took out he HD and pried it open with a screwdriver and hammer, beat the shit out of it with the hammer, cut up everything with shears and threw the pieces into three different garbage cans. Seriously.
Afterwards I thought maybe I had gone a little overboard but then I thought maybe I hadn't done enough.

...L!

 

[JohnnySavage]

Tell us what happened to the dog, Sonny!

 

[CHNOPS]

Tell us what happened to the dog, Sonny!

An eagle stole it! Totally true story.

 

[KyleW]

You ripped this joke off of an episode of the IT Crowd.

 

[CHNOPS]

This is your best thread yet, Sonny!

So true, so true.

 

[MidgetClown]

Hi, GB--

I know some of your are tech-savvy, and I thought you might be able to help me with this. For those who don't know anything about computers, this thread might not be of interest to you.

Here's the problem: Our next door neighbors have a dog that barks and whines all day long while they are gone. I would like to beat him to death with my old Mac G5 tower. Alternatively, I may want to beat the neighbors to death with it while they sleep and take the dog.

When we moved here, I packed the computer away in a box, put it in the basement, and now I can't find it! Computer experts: any idea where I might have put it?

Your assistance greatly appreciated. Thank you and stay welded.

I have an answer to your question.

http://up.xhamster.com/000/026/345/888_1000.jpg

 

[glynndah]

It's a little to the left of the place where you'd know exactly where to find it when you needed it. And while you're there, could you look for a sugar bowl? I've been missing mine since I moved.

 

[KyleW]

So true, so true.

Plagiarism is no laughing matter!

 

[glynndah]

Plagiarism is no laughing matter!

Of course not!

Laughing matters need a smilie.

 

[CHNOPS]

Plagiarism is no laughing matter!

Exactly. And the dog and/or neighbors I am going to kill are known plagiarists. I'm one of the good guys here.

 

[KyleW]

Exactly. And the dog and/or neighbors I am going to kill are known plagiarists. I'm one of the good guys here.

I've already alerted the FBI. They should be there to stop you in approximately 57 hours. Do not flee or clean up your criminal act.

 

[JohnnySavage]

An eagle stole it! Totally true story.

I have a story similar to that one in the archives. You have reminded me of a very traumatic event in my life.

 

[CHNOPS]

I've already alerted the FBI. They should be there to stop you in approximately 57 hours. Do not flee or clean up your criminal act.

I don't know if you intended this as a joke, but the FBI knocked on my door about twenty minutes ago. I let them in and told them I had to get something from my office. The dog was doing its thing next door. When I came out, one of them had apparently beaten the dog to death with a box of toddler clothes he thought was a computer. "If anyone asks you anything," he told me, "you tell them that dog was plagiarizing threateningly." He then confiscated my unread copy of "Foolproof Tips for a Happy FBI Partnership" and left, arguing with the other guy the whole way.

It has been quite a day.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Hi, GB--

I know some of your are tech-savvy, and I thought you might be able to help me with this. For those who don't know anything about computers, this thread might not be of interest to you.

Here's the problem: Our next door neighbors have a dog that barks and whines all day long while they are gone. I would like to beat him to death with my old Mac G5 tower. Alternatively, I may want to beat the neighbors to death with it while they sleep and take the dog.

When we moved here, I packed the computer away in a box, put it in the basement, and now I can't find it! Computer experts: any idea where I might have put it?

Your assistance greatly appreciated. Thank you and stay welded.

For chrissakes, if it's been missing that long, you are way overdue for an upgrade. There are nearly a dozen dirt cheap dog beating apps for every mobile device out there -- notebooks, pads and smartphones.

Assaulting people and pets with a G5? Think of the embarrassment to your family.

 

[CHNOPS]

For chrissakes, if it's been missing that long, you are way overdue for an upgrade. There are nearly a dozen dirt cheap dog beating apps for every mobile device out there -- notebooks, pads and smartphones.

Assaulting people and pets with a G5? Think of the embarrassment to your family.

If I were able to think of the embarrassment I cause my family, I would never leave the house.