In case you're not familiar with them -- and don't pretend you ain't, ya nerds! -- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Now, Evil Overlord sounds like some hoo-boy fun, but I always wanted to be a serial killer. I liked the hours.
So how about some rules for the genre-savvy slasher-film killer?
1. If I am stalking a group of teenagers, I will not begin with the horny couple having sex in a parked van. Such can easily be picked off at my leisure. I will begin with the smart, spunky virgin who might work out a way to defeat me.
2. A chainsaw is not a weapon. There is a reason why soldiers do not carry chainsaws. A power drill is not even to be considered, "Slumber Party Massacre"!
3. I will meditate carefully on the role of absurdity in human affairs before committing any murders at the behest of a supernatural being speaking through my dog.
4. I will not send taunting messages to the police. If they want to catch me, let them work for it.
5. If someone who has discovered evidence of my Great Work but not of my connection to it should stumble into my home or office panicked and out of breath, I will not say, "Now, calm down. Who else have you told about this?" They've GOT to be on to that one by now!
6. My Chamber of Horrors will not be in a remote farmhouse. True, that is a good way to keep the neighbors from hearing the screams -- but if enough travelers mysteriously vanish, sooner or later the authorities WILL comb the countryside. My Chamber of Horrors will be in some place where neither screams nor disappearances will attract attention, such as the South Bronx.
7. Even if I have no particular psychosexual obsession with them, I will not overlook the possibilities of prostitutes. I mean, these are people you can just pay money to be alone with you. Better still, you can take the money back when you're done. And let's face it, so long as you don't go all Jack the Ripper on the remains, nobody's gonna work this case too hard!
8. I will vary my methods and my choice of clients widely enough that the press, at least, will not draw any connection between one of my projects and another. Once you get labeled "The _________ Killer," the game is pretty much over.
9. Organisms of the same species are vulnerable to the same parasites and disease microbes. Therefore, human flesh should never be eaten raw.
10. Fuck sequel hooks -- if I ever get this shit out of my system, I can retire. That's why they never caught Jack the Ripper!
Now, Evil Overlord sounds like some hoo-boy fun, but I always wanted to be a serial killer. I liked the hours.
So how about some rules for the genre-savvy slasher-film killer?
1. If I am stalking a group of teenagers, I will not begin with the horny couple having sex in a parked van. Such can easily be picked off at my leisure. I will begin with the smart, spunky virgin who might work out a way to defeat me.
2. A chainsaw is not a weapon. There is a reason why soldiers do not carry chainsaws. A power drill is not even to be considered, "Slumber Party Massacre"!
3. I will meditate carefully on the role of absurdity in human affairs before committing any murders at the behest of a supernatural being speaking through my dog.
4. I will not send taunting messages to the police. If they want to catch me, let them work for it.
5. If someone who has discovered evidence of my Great Work but not of my connection to it should stumble into my home or office panicked and out of breath, I will not say, "Now, calm down. Who else have you told about this?" They've GOT to be on to that one by now!
6. My Chamber of Horrors will not be in a remote farmhouse. True, that is a good way to keep the neighbors from hearing the screams -- but if enough travelers mysteriously vanish, sooner or later the authorities WILL comb the countryside. My Chamber of Horrors will be in some place where neither screams nor disappearances will attract attention, such as the South Bronx.
7. Even if I have no particular psychosexual obsession with them, I will not overlook the possibilities of prostitutes. I mean, these are people you can just pay money to be alone with you. Better still, you can take the money back when you're done. And let's face it, so long as you don't go all Jack the Ripper on the remains, nobody's gonna work this case too hard!
8. I will vary my methods and my choice of clients widely enough that the press, at least, will not draw any connection between one of my projects and another. Once you get labeled "The _________ Killer," the game is pretty much over.
9. Organisms of the same species are vulnerable to the same parasites and disease microbes. Therefore, human flesh should never be eaten raw.
10. Fuck sequel hooks -- if I ever get this shit out of my system, I can retire. That's why they never caught Jack the Ripper!
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