Comedy Of Errors

[Guru]

ADRIANA


But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


How if your husband start some other where?

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Till he come home again, I would forbear.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause;
They can be meek that have no other cause.
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more would we ourselves complain:
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve me,
But, if thou live to see like right bereft,
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Well, I will marry one day, but to try.
Here comes your man; now is your husband nigh.

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Say, is your tardy master now at hand?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears
can witness.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear:
Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his
blows; and withal so doubtfully that I could scarce
understand them.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he
hath great care to please his wife.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Horn-mad, thou villain!

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I mean not cuckold-mad;
But, sure, he is stark mad.
When I desired him to come home to dinner,
He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he;
'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he:
'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he.
'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'My gold!' quoth he:
'My mistress, sir' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress!
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Quoth who?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Quoth my master:
'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mistress.'
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Go back again, and be new beaten home?
For God's sake, send some other messenger.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


And he will bless that cross with other beating:
Between you I shall have a holy head.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Am I so round with you as you with me,
That like a football you do spurn me thus?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

Exit

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Fie, how impatience loureth in your face!