Comedy Of Errors

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper?
The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


I am not in a sportive humour now:
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
We being strangers here, how darest thou trust
So great a charge from thine own custody?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:
I from my mistress come to you in post;
If I return, I shall be post indeed,
For she will score your fault upon my pate.
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
And strike you home without a messenger.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season;
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner:
My mistress and her sister stays for you.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


In what safe place you have bestow'd my money,
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
That stands on tricks when I am undisposed:
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
But not a thousand marks between you both.
If I should pay your worship those again,
Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou?

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.

 

[Guru]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS


What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands!
Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.

Exit

ANTIPHOLUS

 

[Guru]

OF SYRACUSE


Upon my life, by some device or other
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
They say this town is full of cozenage,
As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
And many such-like liberties of sin:
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave:
I greatly fear my money is not safe.

Exit

 

[Guru]

ACT II
SCENE I. The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.



Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Neither my husband nor the slave return'd,
That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.
Good sister, let us dine and never fret:
A man is master of his liberty:
Time is their master, and, when they see time,
They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Why should their liberty than ours be more?

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Because their business still lies out o' door.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


O, know he is the bridle of your will.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


There's none but asses will be bridled so.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
There's nothing situate under heaven's eye
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Are their males' subjects and at their controls:
Men, more divine, the masters of all these,
Lords of the wide world and wild watery seas,
Indued with intellectual sense and souls,
Of more preeminence than fish and fowls,
Are masters to their females, and their lords:
Then let your will attend on their accords.

 

[Guru]

ADRIANA


This servitude makes you to keep unwed.

 

[Guru]

LUCIANA


Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.