cocksucker?

[sterculius]

I've often wondered why the term "cocksucker" is frequently used as an epithet or a term of derision. As most guys (myself included) enjoy having their cocks sucked, why would they want to insult the ones who give them so much pleasure ? I'm sure that those same "cocksuckers" (myself included again) would prefer not to be vilified for the enjoyment that they feel when performing an act that is loved by so many, givers and recipients alike. We need to redefine the word and change it from a curseword to a compliment. Your comments are invited. Next week we'll deal with the word "slut"

 

[sunandshadow]

Don't forget the word fuck - most people here would agree that fucking is great, lol, so why is it the strongest epithet we have for complaining when we are unhappy?


About cocksucker, probably the derisive connotation comes from the historical idea that submissive guys suck the cocks of more dominant ones.

 

[sterculius]

Don't forget the word fuck - most people here would agree that fucking is great, lol, so why is it the strongest epithet we have for complaining when we are unhappy?


About cocksucker, probably the derisive connotation comes from the historical idea that submissive guys suck the cocks of more dominant ones.

Yeah, so? Sounds like win/win to me

 

[sunandshadow]

Win/win? If sucking cocks is being equated to being a servant/slave, a person who is not an equal and probably not worthy of respect (according to whoever is calling them a cocksucker) then it seems like most people would be insulted to be called that. Even if it was someone who enjoyed being subservient to a particular lover, they are less likely to want to be labeled as subservient to everyone and not to be taken seriously.

 

[intriguess]

the term fuck is used because rape is a crime, and the fuck they are talking about is one of nonconsent. cocksucker can be considered an insult when said to a man, or when used to imply a woman is a prostitute or good for nothing but a blow job

Just my two cents

 

[sterculius]

Win/win? If sucking cocks is being equated to being a servant/slave, a person who is not an equal and probably not worthy of respect (according to whoever is calling them a cocksucker) then it seems like most people would be insulted to be called that. Even if it was someone who enjoyed being subservient to a particular lover, they are less likely to want to be labeled as subservient to everyone and not to be taken seriously.

I don't agree that submissive/dominant is the equivalent of servant/slave. Some people enjoy the passive role and others prefer the active role. It can also be argued that the cocksucker is exploiting the cocksuckee for his/her enjoyment. Consider the dynamic of aikido or judo. The relationship of yin to yang isn't one of subservience.

 

[sunandshadow]

I don't agree that submissive/dominant is the equivalent of servant/slave. Some people enjoy the passive role and others prefer the active role. It can also be argued that the cocksucker is exploiting the cocksuckee for his/her enjoyment. Consider the dynamic of aikido or judo. The relationship of yin to yang isn't one of subservience.

I wasn't presenting that as my own opinion, it isn't, I was presenting it as the opinion of the men in history and today who originated and perpetuated the use of the word cocksucker as an insult. That's what you asked why people consider the term insulting.

 

[SweetErika]

Cocksucker as an insult seems to be used in the same manner as fag, queer, gay, or for women, dyke. I think all of these terms are likely used to implicitly call someone's sexuality into question and tap into our historically homophobic roots as a culture. Many people don't like having their sexuality questioned, misidentified or being deemed/associated with something that's often thought of as 'abnormal' or 'disgusting,' so it has the potential to be a fairly effective insult for those people.

Slut is the same sort of thing: our culture typically looks down on promiscuity (in general, but particularly in women) for a variety of reasons. Most people don't want to be thought of as something that is looked down upon, so it can be a hurtful label/insult.

We could ask the same question of most insults, and many of the answers would be very similar. They're insults because most people don't like being thought of as outside cultural norms or things their societies deem as negative. Unless and until the norms change, the terms aren't going to be interpreted as compliments (when they're used in the context of an insult) by the majority of people.

 

[sterculius]

Aside from the fact that I have never understood how people can actually derive satisfaction through demeaning others, it baffles me that they would choose to do so by accusing them of being practitioners of an activity that benefits and pleases the castigator! I remain eternally grateful to the men and women who, over the years, have pleased me sexually.

 

[BossySon21a]

the term fuck is used because rape is a crime, and the fuck they are talking about is one of nonconsent. cocksucker can be considered an insult when said to a man, or when used to imply a woman is a prostitute or good for nothing but a blow job

Just my two cents

There's something more to it. Many other denigrating terms, or terms referring to negative experiences, are sexually linked. 'I got screwed.' 'I got reamed'.' 'Screw you.' 'He's a dick.' "She's cheap."

It's an interesting thing, actually.

 

[intriguess]

i've heard a lot of "i got screwed" slang that refers to anal sex, which most seem to agree is an act that should not be rushed.

Such as "Parking in BFE (ButtFuckingEgyt)"
The local copy place for college students, a visit is akin to "Being Butt fucked by a gang"

So perhaps merely fucking isn't bad enough anymore, I recall a smart ass response to the comment

"Fuck You"
"Is that a promise or a threat?"

Fuck to me as a female is not necessary a pleasurable experience, I don't fuck, I have sex, to me fucking is a the worst form of intercourse, and unlike men who seem to believe even bad sex is pretty good, as a woman bad sex can be really bad, painful unpleasant and abhorrent.

 

[alaskabibear]

I've often wondered why the term "cocksucker" is frequently used as an epithet or a term of derision. As most guys (myself included) enjoy having their cocks sucked, why would they want to insult the ones who give them so much pleasure ? I'm sure that those same "cocksuckers" (myself included again) would prefer not to be vilified for the enjoyment that they feel when performing an act that is loved by so many, givers and recipients alike. We need to redefine the word and change it from a curseword to a compliment. Your comments are invited. Next week we'll deal with the word "slut"

The key word in the post I think is "frequently", which of course implies not always. People use many words that can be interpreted one way or another. Take the word "gay", a proud gay man would say, "I'm gay." A simple factual statement. But a homophobe can use the same word to say something like, "He's gay" and mean it as a serious insult. The same can be said for most of the words mentioned in the thread.

I can say to my wife, "You're such a slut!" and she would know I mean it as; "You are really hot and naughty tonight!" Another man can say "You're wife is a slut."... and then, well... we have an ugly situation on our hands - no?

Words is words. It seems that someone is always wanting to change them because they have turned into a "label". Only problem is, the new one will also soon be the next "label" and then another new word must be used, and then another, and another... Unless of course we all start using nothing but the proper King's English and say something like; "That man is a homosexual who engages in fellatio." But then again, that too can be said as either a simple "fact" or a nasty "insult"!!! I guess it really has more to do with a persons heart and intent than the actual words used.

 

[Thanatalos]

Fuck is only dirty if you use it in a sentence with a few nouns.

Such as "Fuck you with a broken bottle."


And Cocksucker isnt a bad man! Its a good woman!

 

[sterculius]

If you start out with the intention to defame, you can apply virtually any word to that purpose as long as it suits that definition in your mind. Sadly, there's no shortage of malice in the world, but my original question was directed at the apparent contradiction between the pejorative application of the term and the pleasing sensations induced by the practice described. And "cocksucker" is a gender neutral term.

 

[ted_cinti]

call me cocksucker, or even dick sucker, or cock lover, or dick lover, those are discriptive
words and I don't mind someone using them to describe me. I used these terms myself.
1. dick lover = someone ( M or FM who loves to suck.
2. cum lover + someone who loves to suck and swallow.
3. slut= someone who will suck several at the same time.

so, to describe myself....I guess I'm a dick loving cum loving slut!

 

[infinity706]

Well, cocksucker could have something to do with it being a classified as a class 6 felony here, equilivilant to bestiality and only slightly less severe than rape or incest. Sodomy laws might have something to do with it. From what I've been told, oral sex was seen in a much worse light even in my parents' day than in this modern time of free access to porn.

§ 18.2-361
Crimes against nature

A. If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony, except as provided in subsection B.

B. Any person who carnally knows by the anus or by or with the mouth his daughter or granddaughter, son or grandson, brother or sister, or father or mother shall be guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent commits any such act with his child or grandchild and such child or grandchild is at least thirteen but less than eighteen years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

 

[alaskabibear]

Well, cocksucker could have something to do with it being a classified as a class 6 felony here, equilivilant to bestiality and only slightly less severe than rape or incest. Sodomy laws might have something to do with it. From what I've been told, oral sex was seen in a much worse light even in my parents' day than in this modern time of free access to porn.

§ 18.2-361
Crimes against nature

A. If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony, except as provided in subsection B.

B. Any person who carnally knows by the anus or by or with the mouth his daughter or granddaughter, son or grandson, brother or sister, or father or mother shall be guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent commits any such act with his child or grandchild and such child or grandchild is at least thirteen but less than eighteen years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

Personal perceptions, values , ethics, education and beliefs all work into how EVERYTHING and every word is viewed by all individuals. In short, all of these things that make us who we are cast the shade of light by which one sees life.

As the laws above illustrate, some people look at life with a very dim and flickering lamp. So I fear it is a sad but true fact that the OP about changing the way the term 'cocksucker' shall be viewed is but a jousting with windmills.

Time better spent would be to ask 'Infinity' where is it that such laws are enforced so as to avoid that place in my wanderings???

 

[sterculius]

Well, cocksucker could have something to do with it being a classified as a class 6 felony here, equilivilant to bestiality and only slightly less severe than rape or incest. Sodomy laws might have something to do with it. From what I've been told, oral sex was seen in a much worse light even in my parents' day than in this modern time of free access to porn.

§ 18.2-361
Crimes against nature

A. If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony, except as provided in subsection B.

B. Any person who carnally knows by the anus or by or with the mouth his daughter or granddaughter, son or grandson, brother or sister, or father or mother shall be guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent commits any such act with his child or grandchild and such child or grandchild is at least thirteen but less than eighteen years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent shall be guilty of a Class 3 felony.

Where is "here"? The phrasing is straight out of the bible!! Are we talking Utah, the land of the magic underwear??

 

[infinity706]

We're talking about Virginia. Of course, as for enforcement, I don't think it's actually been prosecuted in a hundred years other than in sexual assault type cases. I really posted it more for comedy value than to scare people.

 

[MR.GGG]

Fuckoff

http://www.killsometime.com/animations/animation.asp?ID=47

As far as "cocksucker" goes how many MEN get called the opposite. How come the the term "cuntsucker" doesn't hold such a lofty place in the English language as cocksucker does?

After all, you ARE what you EAT !!!
(said with some pride)

 

[infinity706]

Well, I certainly use cuntsucker enough. Technically, it's still equally illegal here, though.

 

[sterculius]

Well, I certainly qualify for both terms ( in a GOOD way). ..... slut too.

 

[burnie4434]

call me cocksucker, or even dick sucker, or cock lover, or dick lover, those are discriptive
words and I don't mind someone using them to describe me. I used these terms myself.
1. dick lover = someone ( M or FM who loves to suck.
2. cum lover + someone who loves to suck and swallow.
3. slut= someone who will suck several at the same time.

so, to describe myself....I guess I'm a dick loving cum loving slut!

You also described me.

 

[CWatson]

There's a perception in American culture that being gay is, in itself, a perversion. Men are gay because they're too feminine; men are gay because they want to be a woman, sexually. And the fundamental assumption of patriarchy, the one we're all born and bred to, is that no sane person would ever choose to be a woman if they could choose to be a man instead. Anyone who is choosing it (gays, feminists, lesbians, etc) is screwed up in the head and needs to be corrected.

I find it very telling that women who wear pants don't occasion comment, but men who wear dresses are treated like weirdos.

sterculius, you're absolutely right that we ought to reclaim the word and turn it into a compliment rather than an insult. But you asked why it's an insult, and we're trying to explain. The fact that you personally disagree with most of the reasons makes you an open-minded and progressive person; it does not make our explanations incorrect. =(

 

[fire_breeze]

and remember that among Ancient Romans, the one performing fellatio was considered to be 'submissive' to the one receiving it, therefore one without honour. Roman generals would force the conquered generals/commanders to perform fellatio in order to humiliate and degenerate the conquered population, a practice that seems to have continued all the way to 19th century if not later.

In fact, Catullus (c. 84–54 BCE), writing of his boss, employs the Latin insult irrumator, which means "someone who forces others to give him oral sex," hence "one who treats people with contempt."