claustrophobia? and bondage

[slvjenn]

Those who read my other thread might remember that I said that while I'm not happy with some points of my D/s relationship, the bondage part was good. Well that is until last night.

For the first time ever, I freaked out. I'm not sure why but I just got this incredible sense of dread. I think it might have been the position I was in, i'm not sure. But it was scarey.

Anyway, my question. Have any of you had experience with that? I've never had a problem before, but my hands and arms directly at my sides seemed to turn a switch of some kind on, (or off) and it freaked me out.

Just curious if this has been a problem for anyone else, and if so, how they worked around it or even better through it.

In case this helps, once one arm was able to move above my head I was ok. I've been tied in various ways before, sometimes with my arms and hands behind, or in front with no problem. Above my head has never been a problem. I'm trying to figure out how or why directly at my sides became a problem....

 

[Goddess Helena]

I think some kind of button got pushed that had not been pushed before. Slvjenn, I would not worry about it, just be aware of it. W/we all have things that bother U/us or are more than W/we handle. I think that is just part of life. BDSM or not.



Helena

 

[SexyChele]

I agree with Goddess Helena - you may never know or come to understand just why a trigger was pushed. And you may never be able to work through or around it. It may just be a hard limit for you.

For me? Two things: hoods and gags. I am claustrophobic. Before I realized this, I had a Dom place a hood over my head. It was very lightweight fabric, and had there been a light on in the room, I probably would have seen right through it. It was sort of like a fabrice bag place over my head, but the bottom was left open. I totally freaked out, started hyperventilating, and ultimately screaming. By the time my Dom was able to get me down (it was suspension play), I was just in a phobic state, and it took almost an hour for me completely calm down. I've never tried to work through that. It's just a hard limit for me, and I don't do it. (Though I can do blindfolds, so go figure, but elevators give me the creeps!)

With gags, I have a problem with the mandibular (sp??) joint in my jaw. If I tense up with my mouth stretched open too far, my jaw locks open and unless my Dom is a dentist, I need to get emergency care. It's like the jaw "unhooks". While I might be open to a bit gag or cloth gag, I could never do the ball or penis gags. Again, no desire to work through it. (not sure if I could) It's a hard limit for me that I accept.

 

[Goddess Helia]

I am claustrophobic too. I could never do a hood thing. I think it would leave me in tears. I don't mind a blind folds. I think for me it's the fear of loosing a clear air way. That an I was locked in closets and small spaces lots as a kid. *shudder*

I'd never be able to do gags for the fear of lose of air. Well unless it was a purely symbolic type of gaging. Like puting the end of my leash between my teeth for just a few minutes or something.

I also could never do full body bondage, like being wrapped in blankets or plastic. That would just freak me out too much.

I don't have any intention of working through these things. They are my limits. I think I need to make My Master completely aware of this. I don't think I've ever really thought of it.

Wow. Thanks for this thread. You've helped me to see my limits!! I've been wondering for months if I had any. My Master kept asking and I just couldn't think of any. I will talk with him today about this. Thank you!

Helia

 

[Ebonyfire]

I think some kind of button got pushed that had not been pushed before. Slvjenn, I would not worry about it, just be aware of it. W/we all have things that bother U/us or are more than W/we handle. I think that is just part of life. BDSM or not.



Helena

What she said.

Eb

 

[tyiana]

Those who read my other thread might remember that I said that while I'm not happy with some points of my D/s relationship, the bondage part was good. Well that is until last night.

For the first time ever, I freaked out. I'm not sure why but I just got this incredible sense of dread. I think it might have been the position I was in, i'm not sure. But it was scarey.

Anyway, my question. Have any of you had experience with that? I've never had a problem before, but my hands and arms directly at my sides seemed to turn a switch of some kind on, (or off) and it freaked me out.

Just curious if this has been a problem for anyone else, and if so, how they worked around it or even better through it.

In case this helps, once one arm was able to move above my head I was ok. I've been tied in various ways before, sometimes with my arms and hands behind, or in front with no problem. Above my head has never been a problem. I'm trying to figure out how or why directly at my sides became a problem....

I think I may have an answer for you here. I have been in the position you quoted Slvjenn and as you I began to feel slightly uncomfortable with that position, I put it down to the fact that I had hardly any ability to move my head or lift it when I was face down in the position, And yes I am claustrophobic, so the fact that I could not lift my face up far from the bed, had me slightly panacking. I think when my arms are above my head in a face down position I have more leverage to move my head.

 

[slvjenn]

well...we're just goint to avoid it. My head wasn't bound in any way. i wasn't blindfolded or anything like that. It was just something that i couldn't deal with for whatever reason. I'm not gonna freak on it anymore

 

[Jaydoes]

Anyway, my question. Have any of you had experience with that? I've never had a problem before, but my hands and arms directly at my sides seemed to turn a switch of some kind on, (or off) and it freaked me out.

Just curious if this has been a problem for anyone else, and if so, how they worked around it or even better through it.

This sounds like what in psychology is called a "partial memory" I'd almost be willing to bet that at some point in the past you've had an extremely unpleasant experience that involved having your hands restricted at your sides.
Usually, you can work through this by remembering the event in its entirety and mentally reassuring yourself that is not whats going to happen now. But if you find that you always have the same reaction to that particular position, you'd be best off to avoid it until you can resolve the issue that causes the "panic"

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can identify with this thread well. I have a strange relationship with bondage. I either love it or hate it, and it seems to go through stages for which I have no explanation. In the good periods I sleep like a baby the more secure I am bound (if allowed) and find myself craving it...in the bad stages of which I have entered again lately I am terrified from the minute I see the rope or implement of bondage. There seems no rhyme or reason, and is definately not related to trust issues. I have begun to wonder if it can be an outside related problem as in general stress heightening my sensitivity to it. We work through it but that is a pressure I do not feel comfortble putting on him or our relationship, especially when I cannot give a rational explanation. Any ideas?

Catalina

 

[cellis]

Those who read my other thread might remember that I said that while I'm not happy with some points of my D/s relationship, the bondage part was good. Well that is until last night.

For the first time ever, I freaked out. I'm not sure why but I just got this incredible sense of dread. I think it might have been the position I was in, i'm not sure. But it was scarey.

Anyway, my question. Have any of you had experience with that? I've never had a problem before, but my hands and arms directly at my sides seemed to turn a switch of some kind on, (or off) and it freaked me out.

Just curious if this has been a problem for anyone else, and if so, how they worked around it or even better through it.

In case this helps, once one arm was able to move above my head I was ok. I've been tied in various ways before, sometimes with my arms and hands behind, or in front with no problem. Above my head has never been a problem. I'm trying to figure out how or why directly at my sides became a problem....

I love bondage as a rules... I love the feeling of the ropes being wound around my body... the tightness of the restraint that the ropes represents.

I had a similiar experience as this recently. I was bound, arms straight out, tied to a a 2x4 that He had secured to the bed. Because I sometimes have a problem with my feet and ankles, being bound standing with nothing to lean against is a most uncomfortable and painful thing. The only part of me that touched anything besides the floor was my collar bone and if I needed to lean against the 2x4, I was in incredible pain. I am certain that part of the problem is that physically I was already in pain from the limbs that day... but I did freak... I could find no space to lose myself in... I could not move past the physcial pain to a space to where I could find that inner core of myself.

The whole situation was most disconcerting to both of us. We talk about it but I still as part of me fail because I could not move into that other dimension.

 

[FungiUg]

Both my lover and I suffer from claustrophobia. For her, bondage would just be impossible -- she would freak out majorly. Even worse would be being blindfolded.

For me... I get claustrophobic in crowded spaces. So bondage is fine for me (and fun), provided it's not in the middle of a room full of people.

Unfortunately, being bound doesn't do much for me (other than it's a bit of fun), so not surprisingly, my lover and I tend not to use bondage with each other.

I think there are many issues that can crop up with bondage, and anyone binding someone needs to be aware of them. Freaking out from claustrophobia is certainly one possibility to be aware of. I can think of others (blood constriction, breathing problems, skin allergies off the top of my head.)

So we dominants do need to be sensitive to what's happening for the submissives.

That's me, a sensitive new age Dom.

 

[hurtme]

I get claustophobic...I think mine comes from having many many cat scans when i was younger (I had childhood epilepsy)...but it is not enough to bother me if i am in a bondage situation...any other time though, i will freak out...i can't even wear clothing when i sleep cause the restricted movement will cause me to wake up in a panic...I have ruined several chokers by ripping them off if i fell asleep with them on...

 

[landiek]

I can relate to these reactions honestly.

When I was a child I was in an auto accident and totally forgot either because of the age I was in the accident or too many other happy moments filled my life to shove that one away. The hood was a type of submersion and it set off alarms of this is not right and fear/panic took control. To a person that sees, the lack of stimulation brings an uneasy feeling. I beleive that since the hood was not totally restrictive, it may have triggered a childhood fear. Kind of feeling buried or trapped and sinking in a dark pit. The blindfold doesn't limit the other feelings because you are comfortable to the use of one and it doesn't cover the whole face. Does a full face mask cause the same reaction?

Being honest about fears is a good healthy way to overcome them too. But you already found out the scary way that you have some fears that surfaced at the wrong time but at the same time you have mentioned that your Master/Dom helped you out of the situation. Look at all the things that was going on at the time.

Being claustrophobic can be very painful in the wrong circumstances. I was locked in a closet when I was in sixth grade. The door knob fell off and the light switch didn't work. Nature was not in good humor either as a tornado ripped thur the area rattling our school and knocking the bookcase over on top of me. I felt like I was getting buried alive and became very hysterical. So badly that I decked a 6' 4" teacher and busted his arm when he tried to restrain me to get me out of the closet.

I get scared about the door being shut to my bedroom sometimes and I have to run a fan even in the wintertime to keep the air moving. And the bathroom door stays partically open when I am in there. Which drives my adopted son nuts because he feels that I need my privacy and closes the door.

I've been in three near death auto accidents and found that my claustophobia resurfacing to cause trembling and fits of crying to outbursts of anger.

When reviewing a list of allow and won't allow from a friend on Lit I discovered that my policy of I'll try anything once or twice wasn't optionable. I am going to add you to my prayer list and this doesn't mean that I am fanatic but I believe in the power of an answer and hopefully yours will come to you....

After all there are lots of reasons that may not pertain to your problem but you knos that there are others that feel the same way and that you aren't alone. Happy Holidays, Landi