Masochism and Pain?

[HollyS]

It has been some time since I was in a BDSM relationship, but I have been reminiscing.

A focus of the relationship I was in was exploration of my masochistic side - testing my pain tolerance, and examining my ability and tendency to derive pleasure from pain and to experience pleasure despite pain.

Since then, I have moved away from that lifestyle, though I am still interested and intrigued. Looking back, I wonder at the amount of pain I was able, willing, and even eager to endure! Not sure I could do it, now. Maybe.

Anyway, the thing I'd like to hear about are some of your painful experiences in a BDSM situation. What's the worst pain you've endured? Would you be willing to face it again? Do you have any regrets? Did you ever need to use a safe word?

I would like to hear your experiences and your feelings about them.

 

[Boat1]

It has been some time since I was in a BDSM relationship, but I have been reminiscing.

A focus of the relationship I was in was exploration of my masochistic side - testing my pain tolerance, and examining my ability and tendency to derive pleasure from pain and to experience pleasure despite pain.

Since then, I have moved away from that lifestyle, though I am still interested and intrigued. Looking back, I wonder at the amount of pain I was able, willing, and even eager to endure! Not sure I could do it, now. Maybe.

Anyway, the thing I'd like to hear about are some of your painful experiences in a BDSM situation. What's the worst pain you've endured? Would you be willing to face it again? Do you have any regrets? Did you ever need to use a safe word?

I would like to hear your experiences and your feelings about them.

Holly,
I'm the masochist/sub in D/s relationship with my Wife.
I don't know if you've ever seen any of the pictures I've posted or not, but a couple people here have referred to me as a "pain slut."
I'll admit, I have a high tolerance and the vast majority of my pain is derived from being whipped with implements that I make for my Domme.

I really like the pain, the rush, the chemical release and the submission, but I LOVE seeing Her get into it!... I LOVE seeing Her circle me, planning the markage She wants to apply to my flesh, choosing the implements She wants to use, the beautiful way She carries Herself, the transformation She makes when She gets into "Domme Mode" and whips the F'k out of me! Seeing Her Power and Confidence of Ownership is beautiful to me... it's as if She's letting another person come out of Herself!

I'm the most fortunate man in the world!

This probably won't set well here, but I refuse to have a safe word... to me, that would be insulting, degrading and imply that I have some level of a lack of trust in Her.
I couldn't stand that.

 

[Dearelliot]

I'm an old man and have for years visited professional Dommes, to be abused and tortured...I so love to be tied naked and have the mistress bring out her tools of torment. Showing me clamps with sharp teeth and needles riding crops and canes and she smiles down at me. We too, have no safe words so I must depend on her mercy.
I love to grovel and beg her, but they seldom listen.
I think maybe the first time a Mistress used needles on my penis, I ejaculated. .
I feel a safe word would give me to much control. I deal with professionals who want me to come back as a client so I trust them.

 

[HollyS]

Holly,
I'm the masochist/sub in D/s relationship with my Wife.
I don't know if you've ever seen any of the pictures I've posted or not, but a couple people here have referred to me as a "pain slut."
I'll admit, I have a high tolerance and the vast majority of my pain is derived from being whipped with implements that I make for my Domme.

I really like the pain, the rush, the chemical release and the submission, but I LOVE seeing Her get into it!... I LOVE seeing Her circle me, planning the markage She wants to apply to my flesh, choosing the implements She wants to use, the beautiful way She carries Herself, the transformation She makes when She gets into "Domme Mode" and whips the F'k out of me! Seeing Her Power and Confidence of Ownership is beautiful to me... it's as if She's letting another person come out of Herself!

I'm the most fortunate man in the world!

This probably won't set well here, but I refuse to have a safe word... to me, that would be insulting, degrading and imply that I have some level of a lack of trust in Her.
I couldn't stand that.

Thanks for sharing, Boat. I have only seen pics of some of the implements you've made. I've experience some similar ones, so i can imagine how they feel.

As for safe words - my partner and I were new and making it up as we went, lol. We had a safeword, but I never used it.

Do you ever examine the paychology behind your enjoyment of pain, or do you simply accept it.

 

[HollyS]

I'm an old man and have for years visited professional Dommes, to be abused and tortured...I so love to be tied naked and have the mistress bring out her tools of torment. Showing me clamps with sharp teeth and needles riding crops and canes and she smiles down at me. We too, have no safe words so I must depend on her mercy.
I love to grovel and beg her, but they seldom listen.
I think maybe the first time a Mistress used needles on my penis, I ejaculated. .
I feel a safe word would give me to much control. I deal with professionals who want me to come back as a client so I trust them.

Thanks for sharing! Ive never used a professional for anything accept doctors, car repairmen, and hair stylists, so I hadn't really thought about that!

Needles in the penis, huh? I can't imagine what that feels like. Maybe a needle through the clit?

 

[Boat1]

Thanks for sharing, Boat. I have only seen pics of some of the implements you've made. I've experience some similar ones, so i can imagine how they feel.

As for safe words - my partner and I were new and making it up as we went, lol. We had a safeword, but I never used it.

Do you ever examine the paychology behind your enjoyment of pain, or do you simply accept it.

You're quite welcome.
I can try to send you some links sometime.
Just a week ago, She and I were discussing it and She was curious if anyone else could endure it.
As to the psychology of it, I've not gotten too deep into it, other than the primary part of enjoying giving myself to Her COMPLETELY, seeing Her reactions, etc... but I have noticed that it frees me from some of my chronic back pain as well.

 

[Boat1]

@HollyS
This was a special day for me!
Post in thread 'Boys Why Do You Crave Submission' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/boys-why-do-you-crave-submission.1618095/post-99630691

 

[HollyS]

@HollyS
This was a special day for me!
Post in thread 'Boys Why Do You Crave Submission' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/boys-why-do-you-crave-submission.1618095/post-99630691

That's pretty intense, for sure!

I've had my bottom and legs left looking similar, but never my whole back! Wow!

 

[Boat1]

That's pretty intense, for sure!

I've had my bottom and legs left looking similar, but never my whole back! Wow!

She does such beautiful artwork on me!
There's several pics like that around Lit, but I don't use dropbox or anything like it... I don't want to get you in any trouble, posting pics directly on your thread...
As I run across more, I can try to come back with a link, if you like.

 

[Boat1]

It has been some time since I was in a BDSM relationship, but I have been reminiscing.

A focus of the relationship I was in was exploration of my masochistic side - testing my pain tolerance, and examining my ability and tendency to derive pleasure from pain and to experience pleasure despite pain.

Since then, I have moved away from that lifestyle, though I am still interested and intrigued. Looking back, I wonder at the amount of pain I was able, willing, and even eager to endure! Not sure I could do it, now. Maybe.

Anyway, the thing I'd like to hear about are some of your painful experiences in a BDSM situation. What's the worst pain you've endured? Would you be willing to face it again? Do you have any regrets? Did you ever need to use a safe word?

I would like to hear your experiences and your feelings about them.

Happy New Year!
I found a "compilation" that might help further explain my stance on it. Lol

Post in thread 'How do you like to be spanked?' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/how-do-you-like-to-be-spanked.1496573/post-100060244

 

[lowcollar]

The few highest pain moments would include:
-getting my nipple bit so hard that it bled. I was stiff as a board.
-The first time I was pegged, no mercy was shown to an asshole that had only been penetrated by one finger. The dildo was 8" long and 2" wide. She would not relent. I was too stubborn to use the safe word. She just laughed while she reemed me.
- When I was swatted with a leather belt on exactly the same place over 20 times. I again was as erect as one could be.

 

[Dearelliot]

I may not be as much of a pain slut as I am a vulnerable man who gets pleasure from a woman having the right to torture my genitals.
Being aware, I must give her my exposed penis and testicles, and place them in her hand, knowing she is going to hurt them, just as though they are hers, she owns them and tells me in detail, the painful things she is going to do, and I have to thank her for doing it. Feeling the pain proves to me her power over me and makes me afraid of her. but I don't think I enjoy the pain I enjoy her having the right to hurt me

 

[Boat1]

I may not be as much of a pain slut as I am a vulnerable man who gets pleasure from a woman having the right to torture my genitals.
Being aware, I must give her my exposed penis and testicles, and place them in her hand, knowing she is going to hurt them, just as though they are hers, she owns them and tells me in detail, the painful things she is going to do, and I have to thank her for doing it. Feeling the pain proves to me her power over me and makes me afraid of her. but I don't think I enjoy the pain I enjoy her having the right to hurt me

Spoken like a true submissive...

 

[DpropertyofR]

I am quite a masochist. In the two years I have been serving my Master, I have yet to use my safe word. I think the most painful things I have experienced are having a clover clamp on my clit and the night I took 2000 lashes: 500 with a basic leather flogger, 500 with a crop, 500 with a paddle, and 500 with the electro whip attachment for my violet wand (which is incredibly painful even on the lowest settings). No regrets. I would do it all over again and then some. My pussy was dripping.

 

[Boat1]

Hello @HollyS

SJE 13 Jan 2025


This is a complex question and hopefully, I can properly articulate my feelings about this topic...
First, I'll admit that I've been a "lifelong masochist" even though it was unrealized and unnamed until recently, when I met and gave myself to my Lovely Wife...


There's a freedom that's hard to explain, in TOTALLY letting go, relinquishing all control and FULLY giving myself to another.
The level of trust is immeasurable, complete, and beautiful... as I've previously mentioned in other posts, I call it "Freedom Through Captivity" and it's the most blissful place I've ever been.


I consider it (the pain) as a pleasurable part of "training"... something I've been doing since childhood, as I said, unrealized and unnamed, such as picking up red-hot coals from the fire, then putting them back into the fire, cast iron fire cooking, without potholders, 40+ hours of straight watchkeeping offshore... working in dangerous, life and death situations constantly...
"Eating pain" is a form of training, which gives me the confidence that I can PROTECT my Domme Wife and family in the harshest conditions.


That said, of the utmost importance, the GREATEST thing I get from HARD SM, is seeing, feeling, knowing the beautiful RAW POWER, the "transformation" the unfettered freedom of my Domme, to go deep inside of herself, freeing and unleashing ALL OF HER precious energy upon me!! My purest form of pleasure, is receiving this, witnessing Her turn loose of Any and ALL inhibitions... seeing Her bask in Her COMPLETE OWNERSHIP of me... I SOOOO TREASURE being Her slave, Her sub... I HAVE hit the lifelong, winning "Powerball Ticket" in being OWNED by Her!!!


FTR, subspace is REAL... as I've reached unequaled "highs" from the pain that She so graciously gives to me...
I also have no "safeword" as that would imply some level of a lack of trust in Her... if She ever insisted that I have one, it will simply be "MOAR!" as She's "intuitive" and PERFECT, beyond my wildest dreams!

 

[Dearelliot]

The professional lady from South Jersey used to have a long handled wooden spoon in her hand and slap her palm with it when she spoke to me. "Take it out and put it on the table. Are we going to have any trouble with you today or are you going to do as you're told?" she'd ask. God yes, I did the most humiliating things she wanted and even suggested a few to her...and she still beat it with the spoon until it was black and blue and I loved her for it. That was probably 40 years ago. I'd love to find another lady like that.

 

[HollyS]

I accidently abandoned this thread - life got super busy!

Thanks everyone for your responses. I find it fascinating that our reasons for being masochistic seem to vary widely. Or maybe I should say the role that plays in our lives varies a lot.

@Boat1, you and I have probably had more interaction than I've had with others on the thread, and I had no idea just how big a part the marking played in your life. I was very different when I was actively participating in BDSM. I did not want marks that were visible. I didn't really want to be marked at all, but I'd allow it occasionally if it was something that didn't show.

This discussion has made me realize how I always wanted the BDSM to be a discrete part of my life. In that way, I don't think I was in the same kind of relationship as some of you, at all. I didn't live that way as a whole lifestyle. It was something that we did together, and then the rest of our relationship was "normal."

Looking back, that is why ours ended, I think. He became unable to separate the way we interacted while involved with BDSM from the way I expected us to interact the rest of the time. It was easy at first - the BDSM stuff was just a fun and exciting activity we discovered and explored! Later, though, he had trouble keeping it restricted to the bedroom, so to speak. Plus, it seemed the focus shifted somehow from BDSM to more straightforward cruelty.

It's still such a fascinating thing to me. I think my own masochistic tendencies don't exactly reflect a fondness for pain, or any kind of negative thoughts about myself, but instead come about because I want to challenge myself.

I remember the first time I was able to orgasm while in extreme pain. It was such an incredible breakthrough for me, and I felt such a sense of accomplishment!

 

[base10]

For me, keeping BDSM activity separate from the rest of a relationship is something that I want. For others, they don't want it to only be for playtime. It can absolutely been a pressure point between partners. Nothing wrong with it, just two people looking for two different things.

Not that long ago I gave a sub a very rough spanking as a punishment. While I can only speak to what she told me about it afterwards, at the end, when she was in the most amount of pain, she had the most fascinating look of submission, arousal, and desperation on her face. She was looking at me with such intensity for comfort and support, even as I was the one administering the pain to her. The way she collapsed into me at the end was an amazing and intense bonding experience. That was the end of the pain for her that day, it was all pleasure after that, and I think a very heightened pleasure after the spanking.

 

[Boat1]

I accidently abandoned this thread - life got super busy!

Thanks everyone for your responses. I find it fascinating that our reasons for being masochistic seem to vary widely. Or maybe I should say the role that plays in our lives varies a lot.

@Boat1, you and I have probably had more interaction than I've had with others on the thread, and I had no idea just how big a part the marking played in your life. I was very different when I was actively participating in BDSM. I did not want marks that were visible. I didn't really want to be marked at all, but I'd allow it occasionally if it was something that didn't show.

This discussion has made me realize how I always wanted the BDSM to be a discrete part of my life. In that way, I don't think I was in the same kind of relationship as some of you, at all. I didn't live that way as a whole lifestyle. It was something that we did together, and then the rest of our relationship was "normal."

Looking back, that is why ours ended, I think. He became unable to separate the way we interacted while involved with BDSM from the way I expected us to interact the rest of the time. It was easy at first - the BDSM stuff was just a fun and exciting activity we discovered and explored! Later, though, he had trouble keeping it restricted to the bedroom, so to speak. Plus, it seemed the focus shifted somehow from BDSM to more straightforward cruelty.

It's still such a fascinating thing to me. I think my own masochistic tendencies don't exactly reflect a fondness for pain, or any kind of negative thoughts about myself, but instead come about because I want to challenge myself.

I remember the first time I was able to orgasm while in extreme pain. It was such an incredible breakthrough for me, and I felt such a sense of accomplishment!

@Holly Thank you for the excellent post!
I'll try to get you a reply together soon... in the meantime, last time home, at 59, my first!