Choice: Dom or sub?

[efactors12]

Hi guys! if you are given a choice, would you like to be a dominant or a submissive? A sadist or a masochist?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yes.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Why choose? Why pigeon hole yourself with labels? Enjoy it all

 

[KlaytonFrost]

You are given a choice. Everyone is. That's what this whole "life" thing is about.

Of course you don't have to side with one of the other. You can be both, or neither. Personally I have a bit of a preference for dominant, but that's just who I am

 

[pantysissyslave]

I dont think you do choose, someone asked me to dominate them once and I just couldn't. I am perfectly happy being a submissive slave.
If you are not going to enjoy it then dont do it. I know what I like and I play that role perfectly for everyone I am with.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hi guys! if you are given a choice, would you like to be a dominant or a submissive? A sadist or a masochist?

Having operated in this culture for >40 years, I generally label myself as a sadist with *some* dominant tendencies. However, given your introductory clause ("if [sic] you are given a choice") requires me to point out that I believe our sexuality is pretty much hard-wired into us before birth, whether you're discussing hetero/homo/a/etc.-sexuality, or BDSM preferences or abhorrence, etc. (Note: Not everyone discovers all the facets of their sexuality during their lives.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Which is not to say that the ability to choose might not be hardwired into some of us, although I feel as if I have no choices in the shifting of my identity.

 

[midwestyankee]

Why no gum option? I take the bus, or sometimes my lunch, to work.

 

[midwestyankee]

Having operated in this culture for >40 years, I generally label myself as a sadist with *some* dominant tendencies. However, given your inroductory clause ("if [sic] you are given a choice") requires me to point out that I believe our sexuality is pretty much hard-wired into us before birth, whether you're discussing hetero/homo/a/etc.-sexuality, or BDSM preferences or abhorrence, etc. (Note: Not everyone discovers all the facets of their sexuality during their lives.)

Dammit, I suppose I'll be one of those unlucky ones who has to wait and figure it all out in the grave.

 

[Netzach]

If given a choice sometimes I think I'd want to be a mostly submissive hetero girl in denial on some level, like the majority of women.

Then I think about the good sex I've had, and fuck it, "other" is OK.

 

[knot_sweet]

Why no gum option? I take the bus, or sometimes my lunch, to work.

Not gum, cheese. Cheese always wins.

Unless it's cookies.


And if I thought I could choose to turn off the switch thing, or even just be happy as one or the other...

Nope, still wouldn't do it.

I kinda like being me, even when it's a pain in the ass.

 

[NykkiLeigh]

I DEFINITELY like to be the sub. It's weird, but the thought of being completely dominated turns me on SO much! lol

 

[Pachet]

If I could choose I think I'd still choose to be a sub. or masochist or what have you. The thought of dominating someone does nothing for me. I get nothing out of it... while just sinking to my knees in front of my man can give me butterflies. The thought of someone -male or female- sinking to their knees in front of me does ZIP for me.

 

[jeanine1974]

Domme over hubby and Sadist to him...however will switch for the right guy or woman

 

[sunandshadow]

I'm neither a domme nor a sub, but if I had to choose one of the two I guess I'd choose domme, because it seems like they would have a higher success rate at getting satisfaction out of an encounter with a random sub than vice versa. Also submissive men are less likely to piss me off than dominant ones. But I would not choose to be either a sadist or a masochist, I just don't really see the benefit.

 

[darkheels]

Sub, definitely

 

[Mission_Blue]

If given a choice? I'd be a switch.
I've always been interested in a submissive role. I'm perfectly happy with my nature as is, but if I could comfortably widen my range of play, why wouldn't I?
I've tried dominating. It's fun for a hot minute, til "put up or shut up" time and then I've realized I'm completely devoid of sexual arousal. I suspect a big part of my submissive propensity lies tangled in my feelings of what fulfills a masculine role. I'd like to try dominance with the right woman before ruling it out as %100 "not me."

 

[BrightlyGo]

I don't have a choice, submissive is who i /am/. If i did have a choice, well, being 'normal' might have made my life a lot easier...

 

[Oubliette123]

I don't think choice comes into it, I am who I am.

This lifestyle crept up on me even before I knew it existed-I remember watching Penelope Pitstop being tied to the train tracks as a kid and feeling weird exciting feelings.

But if you mean a 'choice' by comparison of the two sides of the coin (and discounting the myriad of variations), I think its dangerous to fit the two into neat boxes. There is no cut and dry. Its like comparing bread to butter.

 

[LallyH]

I don't think choice comes into it, I am who I am.

This. But as it's pretty obvious that we can't actually choose, I wonder whether that was really the point of the original question?

 

[Oubliette123]

This. But as it's pretty obvious that we can't actually choose, I wonder whether that was really the point of the original question?

Yeah I agree. Making a choice (in all areas of life) usually involves forgoing something-'If I chose this way I can't have that, If I chose that way then I forgo that option' etc.

There is always comparison in choice. I can't for the life of me see a comparison between D and S as to me they are very different ends of a long spectrum. For me its like asking if I would like sugar or salt in my tea!

 

[RawHumor]

This. But as it's pretty obvious that we can't actually choose, I wonder whether that was really the point of the original question?

That was my thought.

I think the OP was just wondering who the tops and who the bottoms are around here.

 

[HussarVanburen]

Not much of a choice now, is it? Well, it is, I suppose. I can do anything I damn well please, for I have you know, that capacity for free will. But I am a dominant sadist by nature and choice, and I would be damned if I ever serve anyone for any reason.

 

[darklord4637]

sub................................

 

[kimuk]

Isn't it who are or what you are ? Not what you choose to be?
I am submissive.
I am a masochist.
I can switch ( more in a role play kind of way), and I get some satisfaction from it.
But I don't feel comfortable doing it. It doesn't come naturally to me.