Cheesy Pick-Up lines

[ABN_Ranger]

Ok y'all... here's my FIRST official thread... it's all mine... and Ang says watching me post my own thread is like watching monkeys learn to use tools for the first time... nah... I can't back that up.

Anywho... here goes...

Cheesy pick-up lines and you... or, How to attempt to get a woman to follow you home instead of splash her drink in your face.

1.) Make sure she has finished her drink. (this way... no splash in face... a win-win situation)

2.) Approach your intended target.

3.) Apply your most dashing smile. (if you have bad teeth... yer screwed.. go home and masterbate)

4.) Get her to notice you. (Do NOT offer to buy her a drink. See #1)

5.) Make sure she makes eye contact with you and not your wing-man. (in other words, make sure your wing-man has the bad teeth)

6.) Introduce yourself and your wing-man. (make sure she sees his bad teeth)

7.) Insert cheesy pick-up line. (here are a select few that I have used and yes kids... they worked)
a.) "Hi... I'm a bird watcher.. can you help me find a Large Breasted Bed Thrasher?"
b.) "Hi... I'm an Airborne Ranger... and he's not." (make sure you point at whoever she's talking to)
c.) "Hi... Ya wanna see me lick your eye-brows with out moving closer to ya?"
d.) "So... you ever been with a man who has a photographic memory and read the Kama-Sutra." (be sure and smirk.. chicks dig that.)

8.) As you walk by her "date" nudge him and say... "you can pick her up at my place in the morning skippy."

There with these sure fire steps... you too can find nocturnal aerobics as easily as me when I was single (happy wifey-kins?).

Ok... now... y'all get to sound off with yer best or worse pick-up lines. Have fun sports fans

J

 

[sheath]

b.) "Hi... I'm an Airborne Ranger... and he's not." (make sure you point at whoever she's talking to)

Okay...THAT one would work for me!

S.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

See... chicks dig the Ranger Tab... especially southern ones... something about 2/3 of the Rangers being in the south. Oh well.

J

 

[CelticFrog]

At least you know I didn't date you for the Tab.

*sigh*

It's sad how long it took us to figure out we were both in the Army. (folks, it was like TWO WEEKS of dating and chatting online nonstop between those dates)

Not that I minded, AT ALL, when I found out you HAD it... but still.

*wistful sigh*
I am a lucky lucky woman.


Ang

 

[Ugod]

See... chicks dig the Ranger Tab... especially southern ones... something about 2/3 of the Rangers being in the south. Oh well.

J

Why is that?? Not to pigeonhole you, but I love the scene in the movie "Three Kings" where George Clooney is trying to sell them on the plot to use military resources to find Saddams gold. And he says "we can do this, or we can all go home to our dayjobs". This is followed by images of their various jobs, I think Ice Cube works as an office-bitch, etc etc. Then the token hick guy from the south's little "flashback" comes on, and he's shooting stuffed animals with a shotgun, and he replies to CLooney "I don't really have a day job, sir." Sorry, not trying to be antagonistic, but do you have any insight on why there SEEMS to be more southerners in active duty? And don't say anything about "Them yankees are cowards" please.

 

[firefighter02]

Is it safe to use the Ranger plan for dating women?
OH god..I can just see Sheath turning this into a book...(insert Trashy in that line above...no offense intended)...

All I ever seem to have to do is use one or two lines.....hmmmm...I never thought much about pointing anything but the fire hose..

Personal favorite...I am willing to attempt a very dangerous magic trick...Without using my hands I will lick your belly button from the inside...


What?? You didnt' think "Mam, I'm a firefighter and I'm here to help" works everytime do you??

Welcome to posting threads Ranger...next you might work up to one on pickled pigs feet..although that has been done to death LOL.
FF

 

[Ugod]

Personal favorite...I am willing to attempt a very dangerous magic trick...Without using my hands I will lick your belly button from the inside...


FF

Lol I like that one.

 

[College_geek]

"Hi... I'm a bird watcher.. can you help me find a Large Breasted Bed Thrasher?"

That one is so horrible. It makes me laugh here, but it would probably lead to a smack on the face in real life. ...Mainly because one would use the term "large breasted" on me unless they were joking. Wait...no one tries to pick me up anyway...

 

[midwestyankee]

The only one I recall that ever worked perfectly was, "I do."

 

[sheath]

Is it safe to use the Ranger plan for dating women?
OH god..I can just see Sheath turning this into a book...(insert Trashy in that line above...no offense intended)...

No offense taken.

Is it safe to use the Ranger plan? Ummm...God. Half the things Ranger does are not safe for normal humans. So...

*shrugs*

S.

 

[sheath]

The only one I recall that ever worked perfectly was, "I do."

I just felt my heart smile.

S.

 

[SnoopDog]

*licking your finger and touching her shirt*
'Now, we have to get you out of the wet clothes'
That's stupid, but at least funny.
Snoopy

 

[PrincessHoney]

i may not be wilma flintstone... but i can make your BEDROCK tonight....



always raises a smile... then the rest is foreplay!

 

[midwestyankee]

I just felt my heart smile.

S.

None of the others ever matched it for long-term results.

 

[knight88]

Pick up line

Years ago a friend approached a table with 3 ladys seated having a drink.. His first words to them "hi I am horny, who wants to f--k?", One of the women slapped him but he left the bar with the other two... So much for suave and subtle...

 

[millieteases]

Hi, I'm from Texas. Hank Hill is God.

"I believe ... in long, wet, deep kisses that last for three days."

 

[Vixandra]

i may not be wilma flintstone... but i can make your BEDROCK tonight....



always raises a smile... then the rest is foreplay!

I love that! Going to use it on hubby, LOL.

 

[CelticFrog]

The only one I recall that ever worked perfectly was, "I do."

Okay, you have a point there.

I also think it's the most memorable line he's EVER used on me.

*melt*
Ang

 

[CelticFrog]

Why is that??
Sorry, not trying to be antagonistic, but do you have any insight on why there SEEMS to be more southerners in active duty? And don't say anything about "Them yankees are cowards" please.

I am going to let Ranger field most of this, but he never said anything about southerners in active duty. Just Rangers stationed in the south.

If you are asking for your own curiosity, then the yankees as cowards phrase could very well work. I have met more southerners in my service who joined the military just to serve their country than yanks. I AM a damn yank, but I was the only yank in 4 separate Basic Training battalions who didn't join for college money.

I think the differentiation should be made between southerners and yankees more in terms of how long they stay and why they join, and then it is a lot easier to see why there appears to be more southerners in service.

Ang

 

[ABN_Ranger]

No offense taken.

Is it safe to use the Ranger plan? Ummm...God. Half the things Ranger does are not safe for normal humans. So...

*shrugs*

S.

Hell whoever said any Ranger was a normal human being... we jump out of airplanes and kill people for gods sake.


J

 

[sheath]

Hell whoever said any Ranger was a normal human being... we jump out of airplanes and kill people for gods sake.


J

My point exactly, babe.

S.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Hell whoever said any Ranger was a normal human being... we jump out of airplanes and kill people for gods sake.


J

Ok, I;ve always wondered what makes people willing to jump out of a perfectly good airplane... oh wait, the army maintains it, ok... not so perfectly good... nevermind...

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Why is that?? Not to pigeonhole you, but I love the scene in the movie "Three Kings" where George Clooney is trying to sell them on the plot to use military resources to find Saddams gold. And he says "we can do this, or we can all go home to our dayjobs". This is followed by images of their various jobs, I think Ice Cube works as an office-bitch, etc etc. Then the token hick guy from the south's little "flashback" comes on, and he's shooting stuffed animals with a shotgun, and he replies to CLooney "I don't really have a day job, sir." Sorry, not trying to be antagonistic, but do you have any insight on why there SEEMS to be more southerners in active duty? And don't say anything about "Them yankees are cowards" please.

Ok... brief lesson in Army for ya... The 75th Ranger Regiment, headquartered at Ft. Benning Georgia, has 3 "Combat ready" Battalions and 3 Training Battalions (RTB's), The combat ready battalions consist of the 1st Ranger Bn, stationed at Ft. Stewart Georgia specifically Hunter Army Air Field; 2nd Ranger Bn, stationed at Ft. Lewis Washington (My batt of service.) and the 3rd Ranger Bn, stationed at Ft. Benning Georgia.
The training Battalions consist of the 4th RTB, stationed at Ft. Benning Georgia; the 5th RTB stationed at Dahlonega, Georgia and the 6th RTB stationed at Eglin AFB, Florida. Other Rangers get priority assignments to the 82nd Airborne Division at Ft. Bragg North Carolina and to the 10th Mountain Division at Ft. Drum New York. So as you see... the majority of Airborne Rangers serving on active duty are in the south... and southern girls for the most part love the hell outta that black and gold tab.

But it also helps if ya got the "Triple Canopy" effect... Special Forces tab, Ranger tab and Airborne tab. Trust me... that's a winning trio.

And as far as "Three Kings" goes... Clooney is what we all call a "Hollywood-Ranger" see atleast Nicolas Cage came and spent about 6 weeks with us in preperation to filming "Con-Air" Clooney didn't spend day one with a Ranger Bn or SF group.

Never confuse real Army with Hollywood Army... 'nuff said.

J

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Ok, I;ve always wondered what makes people willing to jump out of a perfectly good airplane... oh wait, the army maintains it, ok... not so perfectly good... nevermind...

Actually they're Air Force airplanes. And knowing now what I know... I ain't ever gonna jump outta one again... I know exactly what Air Force crew chiefs do to the damn things.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Actually they're Air Force airplanes. And knowing now what I know... I ain't ever gonna jump outta one again... I know exactly what Air Force crew chiefs do to the damn things.

lol...