Cheesy Pick-Up lines

[ABN_Ranger]

What??? I'm a reformed-Ranger... I fit in great as a crew chief. I'm beligerant, bitter and I know words that have made sailors blush.

J

 

[TNRkitect2b]

yup.. i know a few of ya... both reformed and not wanting to put out the effort to say they're reformed

but then what do I know? I'm just an ex-intel weenie...

 

[ABN_Ranger]

intel... Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh... That explains a lot. hehehe.

J

 

[TNRkitect2b]

intel... Ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh... That explains a lot. hehehe.

J

Yup. the only soldiers with an oxymoron for a job...

 

[ABN_Ranger]

well.. let the record show that I was not the one that said it

 

[TNRkitect2b]

well.. let the record show that I was not the one that said it

Nope took all the fun out of it by admiting to it first...

 

[knight88]

Jobs

ok guys, as a retired Air Traffic Controller I was always puzzled by guys jumping out of "perfectly good" airplanes, Rngr you have reenforced my thoughts.. no such thing as a perfectly good airplane.. Now I try to avoid flight in anything I have not checked and preflighted myself..

 

[sheath]

Actually they're Air Force airplanes. And knowing now what I know... I ain't ever gonna jump outta one again... I know exactly what Air Force crew chiefs do to the damn things.

*snicker*

S.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

To get this thread back on topic, a pick up line (?) I have seen used and work was to walk up to a girl that you thought looked good, put your hand in your pocket and partially remove a condom (in wrapper). Make eye contact, then look down at it, when you see her glance down, and recognise what it is she looks back up , you give her a quizical look, and nod your head off towards the door....

I lost $10 that this would work one night when my buddies and I had just gotten to a new post. I still don't believe it, but it did. Go figure.

 

[CelticFrog]

OH god..I can just see Sheath turning this into a book...(insert Trashy in that line above...no offense intended)...

OFFENSE TAKEN! IT'S MY DAMN BOOK!


Ang

 

[CelticFrog]

Is it safe to use the Ranger plan? Ummm...God. Half the things Ranger does are not safe for normal humans. So...

*shrugs*

S.

Hm. I am apparently not safe for normal humans.

Or at least half of me isn't.

*ponders*

GOD, that just made my headache worse...


Ang

 

[zhukov1943]

Here's one they'll laugh their ass off at:

"I'm not a dentist...but I'd love to fill all your cavities!"

Guaranteed to net you a derisive snort.

 

[wideeyedgrin]

"What's a henway?" If the woman says about 2 lbs. tell her "No, it's a free way for chickens" If she starts laughing you have a chance.

And Ranger - I think that we yankees tend to join the Navy or Air Force, why walk to a fight? (just kidding).

 

[CelticFrog]

"What's a henway?" If the woman says about 2 lbs. tell her "No, it's a free way for chickens" If she starts laughing you have a chance.

And Ranger - I think that we yankees tend to join the Navy or Air Force, why walk to a fight? (just kidding).

*snort*

We don't ALWAYS walk... I drove the transport trucks.


Ang

 

[zhukov1943]

Hey, Ang - there ain't no such thing as "front line" and "rear area" any more...

You were just as much a combat soldier as anybody else...Including NYC...

 

[CelticFrog]

Thanks, Z.

Honestly, there are still REMFs (rear echelon mother fuckers) but the distinction is harder to define.

I was devastated when in mid 2002, I received temporary discharge papers. I am still waiting for the permanent ones, but they'll be a while in coming. However, the papers I got for the interim (proof that I'm not AWOL) had been backdated to... get this... September 1st, 2001.

Anyhow, back to the thread -- I absolutely LOVE it when Ranger comes up to me, even in the middle of the house, and uses a pickup line on me. Cracks me up. Try it with your S/O sometime in the kitchen.

And something NOT to do?
Tell 'em what you did to me in Wal-Mart when I was pregnant, HONEY...



Ang

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Ok... Ang was about 6 months preggers... we were in WalMart (what else is there to do here? Hell it's Southern Idaho) And this elderly couple sees us walking around... me walking and Ang waddeling actually... anyway... the lady smiles and looks at Ang and says... "Pregnant dear?" and without missing a beat I pipe up with... "Yeah... and when I find the son of a bitch that did that to her... I'm gonna kill him."

Ya shoulda seen the look on everyones faces... It was priceless.

J

 

[midwestyankee]

Ok... Ang was about 6 months preggers... we were in WalMart (what else is there to do here? Hell it's Southern Idaho) And this elderly couple sees us walking around... me walking and Ang waddeling actually... anyway... the lady smiles and looks at Ang and says... "Pregnant dear?" and without missing a beat I pipe up with... "Yeah... and when I find the son of a bitch that did that to her... I'm gonna kill him."

Ya shoulda seen the look on everyones faces... It was priceless.

J

That qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment...


and one of the funniest things I've read all day. ^5 to ya!

 

[CelticFrog]

That qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment...


and one of the funniest things I've read all day. ^5 to ya!

Oh, it WAS. Especially since there was no way I could have caught him and I was left stuttering in front of a very nice couple who were now glaring at me like I was the scum of the earth.

Did they note that J was giggling like a maniac and sprinting away? NOOOOOOO.


Ang

 

[ABN_Ranger]

And then there's the one I still use at Wal-Mart...
Looking around like a paranoid feret... "God I hope your husband doesn't see us together." That one gets great looks too.

 

[midwestyankee]

And then there's the one I still use at Wal-Mart...
Looking around like a paranoid feret... "God I hope your husband doesn't see us together." That one gets great looks too.

Yeah, wives are like that. Mine hates it when I introduce her as "my first wife." It's the truth, for cryin' out loud. I don't know what her problem is.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Yeah, wives are like that. Mine hates it when I introduce her as "my first wife." It's the truth, for cryin' out loud. I don't know what her problem is.

at least you don't do like an uncle of mine does and introduce yourself as her first husband. That one get's strange looks too....

 

[midwestyankee]

at least you don't do like an uncle of mine does and introduce yourself as her first husband. That one get's strange looks too....

A number of years ago I was doing a short stint as a substitute teacher and had the odd chance to once take my own wife's classes for a day. At the start of the first class I wrote my name on the board and turned around. One little gem of a scholar asked if I was related to their regular teacher. I replied that she was my daughter. Now, I have had grey hair since my very late 30s and at the time my wife was perhaps 41 or 42. The youngster looked askance at me so I asked, "Shall I tell her that you were the one who said she did not look young enough to be my daughter?" He shut up and I had them in the palm of my hand the rest of the day.

 

[sheath]

A number of years ago I was doing a short stint as a substitute teacher and had the odd chance to once take my own wife's classes for a day. At the start of the first class I wrote my name on the board and turned around. One little gem of a scholar asked if I was related to their regular teacher. I replied that she was my daughter. Now, I have had grey hair since my very late 30s and at the time my wife was perhaps 41 or 42. The youngster looked askance at me so I asked, "Shall I tell her that you were the one who said she did not look young enough to be my daughter?" He shut up and I had them in the palm of my hand the rest of the day.

Oooooh...that was smooth, yankee. Good one!

s.

 

[CelticFrog]

He shut up and I had them in the palm of my hand the rest of the day.

GOD I wish my mom would have been as cool as you when she was subbing.

Try getting your own MOTHER subbing in your GYM CLASS!!

I was in hell for the rest of the year. It NEVER got forgotten.

Ang