Can we reignite the sexy limerick thread (or start a new one)?

[staylate]

I'll start. We can make this progressive, or each poster can post an entire limerick.

Pussy: I used to get a ton
It was so much fun
Now I'm married
Life is harried
If I don't get some soon, I might come undone.

 

[staylate]

Finding women on Lit is hard
I wish I had a bunch of women in my yard
We could swim in the pool
We'd get wet to stay cool
I guess I just have to play the right card.

 

[37_ttej]

Jett used to write lots of Lims
But it never got him quims
The inbox stayed dry
'No PMs', he'd sigh
So vows he took and penned hymns.

 

[37_ttej]

A woman I used to know
Had a rep as quite the ‘ho
The tat on her chest
Most always impressed
Read, “Ain’t no skanky bimbo”.

 

[AbsintheFather]

There once was a man named Schmidt
He sought chat with a lady on Lit
He found a hot lass
Had a piece of e-ass
Then found the 'lady' wasn't legit

 

[37_ttej]

He really loved her big boobs,
But, emerging from her pubes,
He realised with shock
She had a huge cock
And, alas, he’d brought no lubes.

 

[37_ttej]

‘Tis true that our rhythm’s not great
‘Cause I learned to Lim in Year 8
Where the bar was so low
I got marks just for show
Let alone trying to write the fucker in anapestic meter with the occasional interspersed amphibrach for variety.

 

[37_ttej]

That said, we write most for fun
And sometimes even a pun:
A dash of good smut
And kinky shit, but
There’ll def be the odd bad one.