can anyone help??

[chagrin]

I've been lurking here for a while, but haven't had the courage to post until now. Ya'll seem like a nice, welcoming, informative bunch, so........... here goes.

My Master left me a couple months ago and I've been trying, really trying, to get him out of my system.

How can I get my Master out of my system? How can I get him out of my soul?

I look for his eyes in crowds. I hear his voice in the screaming silence of endless nights. I feel his touch in aching moments of endless loneliness. I kneel before him in fantasies of unrealistic reality.

I don't know how to forget. I don't know how to do it. Can anyone help?

Can anyone help??????

 

[Shadowsdream]

I am sorry to hear about your emotional pain and wish that I could give you a magic answer to absolve that pain. But there is none...Time will lessen the pain, but how much time is too individual to predict.
The choice that you do have control of is to rediscover yourself, the essense of who you are and the joy that is the seed of your own independent soul.
To begin the thought process of the possibility of serving another Master when the day comes that this Master no longer has a long distance control on your emotions. Looking into that future without the negativity or doubt you may be feeling today.
Savour the pain of each days tears for they are the strength of your tomorrows...one day you will wake up and be able to say *even the bad days were good*

 

[chagrin]

Thankyou, Shadowsdream.

We were together for so long, he was my first Master. I've had other Doms but he was my first Master.

I forget who I am without him? Just when I think I've forgotten.....in he creeps. It's hard to explain.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Thankyou, Shadowsdream.

We were together for so long, he was my first Master. I've had other Doms but he was my first Master.

I forget who I am without him? Just when I think I've forgotten.....in he creeps. It's hard to explain.

Hopefully you will never forget..as that would be waste of all you shared together. Being together for a very long time begins a process where you become intertwined with each other in ways that are unexplainable.
Hve you been apart long..if you don't mind the question?

 

[Pure]

Hi Chagrin,

That's always difficult to 'get over' someone you've been close to.
In some ways he will always be there in your memory, but you have to allow the pain to go.

It may help to eliminate some of the reminders of him. I can remember avoiding a park my lover and I used to go to. Don't play the songs that have those memories. Wear/buy different clothing. Look up friends you may have not seen for a while.

Some people find that new surroundings help. Either take a trip, or even move to a new apt.

Part of this depends on your spirit; to go ahead despite the pain.
Remember that these break ups are not usually anyone's fault.
The relationship. like a flower, had its time, and then its beauty goes. Persons outgrow or leave behind relationships; that's the way of so many of them, and we can't control it.

So remember the good things the two of you did, and remember what you obivously had to offer and still have. As you lessen your grieving, you move on.

Things may not seem like they'll change but if you change surrounding, lessen reminders, lessen holding to certain pains, then they'll gradually lessen.

Best
J.

 

[Andreina]

grieve, cry and weep... suffer and scream.

get yourself tons of chocolate & ice-cream. remain true to yourself.

 

[Richard49]

grieve, cry and weep... suffer and scream.

get yourself tons of chocolate & ice-cream. remain true to yourself.

Amen !!!

 

[chagrin]

Dear A/all,

Thanks for replying and sorry its taken so long to answer.

Shadowsdream: we broke up last November, right after my birthday. Its been 6 months now and it is getting easier.

Pure: now I look back I see that perhaps it is for the best he ended it. But it was hard to let go of 4 years.

Andreina: I like your plan of attack. I screamed until my throat was sore, then ate loads of icecream to make it better

I know I still love him but I also know its time to let go. Alt.com, here I come

 

[FungiUg]

My suggestion: go to a library and check out a good book on dealing with grief.

When you lose someone you are intimately involved with, it takes time to sort yourself out, re-discover yourself without that person, allow the emotions to face, disentangle your life... time is the only real cure. You just have to give yourself that time.

I know in my case, when I broke up with my ex-wife I was very much still in love with her. I don't think I handled it as well as I could (I had hoped to maintain a friendship, but I just couldn't cope with it.) But... that's life.

Hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I do feel for you.

 

[s'lara]

This is going to sound corny, but the only thing that helps is time.

i don't mean to say that the love and/or connection you feel with your former Master will disappear, but it may morph into something that you can handle and move beyond after the passage of time.

i do wish you well and hope you can get to a healthy, happier place in your life. *smiles*

 

[His_sugar]

i'm not so sure you ever completely get someone you loved and cared for out of your system. Certainly in a lifestyle such as this, those feelings seem to run just that much deeper.

i do think however as time passes, you find a place for the good, special, happy memories and you draw on them at the appropriate times.

i think you just have to take from this all the good and the bad and add it to your life experiences, as another piece of the puzzle that makes you who you are.

basque

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

He will always be in you heart as your first DOM you have to give it time as with anything to get over try and do more things you enjoy and find fun
Tracy

 

[SirTain]

My advice: don't forget. In our very civilized world, we have become so accustomed to the "disposable" that I fear as a cultural people we have taken "mourning" for granted. It has become a function of ceremony and media formula rather than a transcendental and personal emotional experience.

From every relationship we engage, we have the opportunity to give and receive. If we can truly value giving -- "exchanging" -- rather than taking, we can find great comfort in what we have received and its lasting effect on us rather than what is no longer immediately gratifying us.

The pain is a symptom of intense and vital feeling, meaning that you are emotive, expressive, alive, vital and so can grow from what has been exchanged. Grow emotionally and by the trust you discovered in your Master, now trust yourself and begin to believe that all you obviously have to offer will be welcomed by another some day. "Loneliness" is not always a bad word when it teaches us what love really means to us.

Pain never has to exclude hope.

 

[Etoile]

you should start healing yourself by examining why you hurt so much over someone that has left you yet you still call him master.

Actually, I think that's a perfectly reasonable response. I wouldn't think there's anything to examine - it seems like a natural feeling to me. Yes, in time chagrin will move on, but for now I think a little hurt is allowed without needing to be analyzed. As for still calling him Master, that may be how chagrin feels about him even still.

 

[Trainerman]

Dear A/all,

Thanks for replying and sorry its taken so long to answer.

<snip>

I know I still love him but I also know its time to let go. Alt.com, here I come

When you are ready to move on...there is a UK based site called InformedConsent. The personals section is free.

Dave

 

[Soron]

~snip~
The choice that you do have control of is to rediscover yourself, the essense of who you are and the joy that is the seed of your own independent soul.
Savour the pain of each days tears for they are the strength of your tomorrows...one day you will wake up and be able to say *even the bad days were good*

This is your answer, darlin'.