Fetish Origins

[Thomas_Hardy]

I discovered that submitting to women (and sometimes, men) aroused me by accident, while playing judo. Rolling on the mat with a technically superior female, you end up in holds that can have a sexual edge when you find that you will not get out of them, depending on which body parts are involved.

This prompted me to explore that side of me into the psychological dimensions of submission. Perhaps it also, on a deeper level, links to being spanked by my mother with a wooden spoon as a kid. I am not traumatised by it and at the time, things like that were common in many families around us. So I have gone through life well adjusted, and there is no blame. But I guess bdsm plays an important part in living with where I came from.

 

[subbyclarajane]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

 

[SPARTAN047]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

Very sorry to hear that — I've had people force themselves on me too so IKWYM, and it must've led to my submissive and rape fantasies along with my bullying history.

 

[Illgiveitatry1]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

Sounds like your parents were really fun.

 

[jd_sw]

I know where my fetishes originate from. It was my father's VHS porn stash. The film was probably made in late 80's to early 90's. I still remember it quite vividly because this was my favorite.

The story was about a female blond clerk working in a stone quarry. First scene was a group miners ganging up on her in her office. She was handcuffed, stripped naked, fucked in all her holes. The miners then gave her facials then walked her cum covered naked body out to the mining site with a leash attached to her collar.
The next scene is they tied her vertically in spread-eagle position ropes on a face of a stone slab. Then they used modified power tools to make her cum over and over before letting her down.
Last scene was she get tied face down over a stone block getting split-roated by the miners. The all of the miners gave her creampies.

 

[GoodGirlsDeserveFun]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

I think for a long time I wouldn't talk about anything to do with sex.

So exhibitionism is a real turn on to me because it goes against everything I lived growing up. It also goes against what I think is proper or ladylike haha. Not that it's going to stop me recording orgasms, piss audios and showing my tits on the internet. I'm definitely happier knowing myself better now.

 

[Servileone13]

I believe I owe my desire to submit to my first GF. She took my virginity and then some! She was insatiable, and took the time to teach me just what she wanted, where she wanted it done and how she wanted me to do it. Back then i didn't see it as dominating me, but she was. We had sex whenever and where ever she wanted. Some places where quite risky but I could never say no. I felt bad when we broke up because when ever someone said her name or we were in the same room my dick got hard so I avoided her like the plague. Boy if i knew now, what I didn't know then....

 

[Wonderer67]

Ok this will sound weird.

When I was a kid, watching Batman (the original campy one), I always wanted to get tied up like when Batman and Robin struggled against their ropes. I don’t know why. It wasnt sexual I don’t think. Plus there was catwoman…

Also as a kid, I remember seeing a magazine article about kids being kidnapped and I always wanted to be tied up. I don’t know why this was something I wanted.

Many years ago, when in college, I met a woman who was a dominatrix. Not pro, but she really wanted to dominate men. She and I were both a bit older than the other college students. She was a survivor of a sexual assault, and I think her desire to be in control was a result of that.

She introduced me to bdsm and being tied up and unable to move in a sexual sense.

My wife and I were just talking about all of this and the roots of our fantasies and kinks. We are reading a book of sexual fantasies by Nancy Friday.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

Mine came from a sexual assault. I have friends that have similar. Either we do it intentionally to have control over the fetish so it can’t be done TO us, or the adrenaline of a danger memory kicks in, we leave team and enter a state of “now”, which is what happens with most trauma response. While the “now” can be sexually liberating, this particular response can lead to declining mental health and has often left me crying after the sex. Do not recommend.

Oh, this is really important. I write unpopular but thought provoking stories about the line between good and bad and I'm working on a new one that I want to get right. So I appreciate your sharing about this difficult subject. Any chance you would be willing to share more about it? Either here or in private? I really want to understand what triggers the sadness and if you are able to enjoy kinky sex without it being sad. E g. What does and doesn't work happily for you.

 

[Phatfeet]

I grew up in church and in those early years most church-goers dressed well. Seeing such things as pantyhose and high heels was a common sight. As I did, my father would often comment that he "liked legs" and with adults (when my mother was not around) would often openly talk about it. I think that gave me a sense of "permission" to like high heels and pantyhose, which I have.

 

[AlexBailey]

I have so many kinks and fetishes… They only became sexual later in life.

I was a tagalong when my older sister was in dance and theater and I often ended up in supporting roles - such as Toto when she played Dorothy, or as Sandy for Annie. Having a bunch of older girls loving and petting me while I was in costume was formative.

Being bound up in a papoose board (look it up) by my doctor so he could stitch my forehead for a couple of different injuries made a lasting impression.

Playing tie up games…growing too big for my wetsuit but wearing it anyway…being mistaken for a girl and told how pretty I was…

Later being told by my stepfather that I would never be a real man…

 

[subbyclarajane]

Oh, this is really important. I write unpopular but thought provoking stories about the line between good and bad and I'm working on a new one that I want to get right. So I appreciate your sharing about this difficult subject. Any chance you would be willing to share more about it? Either here or in private? I really want to understand what triggers the sadness and if you are able to enjoy kinky sex without it being sad. E g. What does and doesn't work happily for you.

DM me.

 

[Wonderer67]

I have a fascination with medical situations. Being examined. Being humiliated (think naked and exposed) in front of a cold medical professional really turns me on.

I’ve written a few stories about this.

I don’t know where the origin of this comes from tho.

 

[SmokingFap]

Both of my biggest fetishes began well before I even reached puberty. My mother was very pretty, a former model, and she was very liberal about nudity around the house when I was growing up. And she was never without one of her beloved Virginia Slims menthol cigarettes. So I was pretty much doomed to be obsessed with incest and pretty women smoking since before I could even fantasize and jerk off thinking about them.

 

[old_hippy_46]

Most fetishes have their roots in certain experiences. Do you know where yours came from?

With women I'm very Dom. I expect total obedience and enjoy a woman who I can share, loan or pass around without question.

With guys I'm very sub. I don't have to be attracted to the man, or even like him. I just want to suck his cock and for him to hold me down and fuck me like a slut.

I know (I think) where this came from. When I was a teenager I found out my parents were swingers, firstly by hidden contact mags with some entries underlined or circled (took me a while to figure out what VVWE meant, there was no internet then) and eventually the holy grail, a stack of polaroids of mostly my mother, some with other men.

So with women, I guess, I'm mirroring my dad. With guys, I'm trying to experience what she experienced.

My enema fetish originated in growing up in the era where enemas were very common and practiced by many families.
When I got enemas i never fussed or objected, truth is I liked it when Mom gave me enemas. Early on I figured out how to manipulate her by gaining illness.