Newbie has some questions

[hidden_aries]

I'm feeling much better now, just PM me if you need to talk, I'm here.

I just might sometime in the near future, although many of my doubts and questions have already been answered by the posts on the first page.
I opened the thread just to learn about bdsm labels and am finding out so much about Romantic literature and socio-political theories, both of which interest me a lot! Will have to come back and read the later posts more thoroughly when it’s not so late!

Thank you L!

 

[Chilllax]

I just might sometime in the near future, although many of my doubts and questions have already been answered by the posts on the first page.
I opened the thread just to learn about bdsm labels and am finding out so much about Romantic literature and socio-political theories, both of which interest me a lot! Will have to come back and read the later posts more thoroughly when it’s not so late!

Thank you L!

The one thing I have learnt is to avoid compartmentalising myself. Labels are a convenient construct but we are human after all. Speaking for myself, I have realised that I have dominant tendencies but also am willing to let the other person have agency, if you will. What does that make me? Don't know and quite frankly don't care.
As long as you understand yourself and can articulate it, labels don't matter IMHO. Going to go back into the shadows so I don't hijack this beautiful thread from @Liberia

 

[OralAllOver]

"BTW if you bring yourself to orgasm while rimming, yes, u r submissive"

It seems that I gave the wrong impression because English is my second language, I am sorry. I never did that and have no experience whatsoever with rimming. What I meant to say was that I like to do things for a partner like oral sex, not because I feel submissive, but because I like to interact with my partner and give back pleasure. I know some people like that because of submissiveness, for me that's definitely not the case.

Correct

Kissing (mouth to mouth) mutual, not submissive

Partner spitting into your open mouth (mouth to mouth) submissive

Some things complicated, some not

 

[BiCuriousWriter]

A lot has been said about finding your sexuality so I don't comment on that.
What has been less in focus was the people. You are a smart woman surrounding yourself with smart and progressive people. You would like to be bosses around in the bedroom. That is not unique. I am side there are people even within your current circles who could be the person you are looking for. Question is of course how to finns them.

 

[Liberia]

A lot has been said about finding your sexuality so I don't comment on that.
What has been less in focus was the people. You are a smart woman surrounding yourself with smart and progressive people. You would like to be bosses around in the bedroom. That is not unique. I am side there are people even within your current circles who could be the person you are looking for. Question is of course how to finns them.

I started talking kink fairly open, got some of my Irl friends to join lit, taking my queer friends on an event Friday and will punch everyone in the kidneys giving them a mean comment.

Thank you, but I am comfortable and fine right now. Coming to lit has helped me immensely. I got lots of answers, a kinky fairy godmother, a perv-bestie and a kind and caring friend looking every day after me. And an amazing community.