Best piece of descriptive writing

[Un-registered]

Originally posted by MathGirl (in another thread)
The best descriptive line I've read this week:

"His beard and moustache made him look like a man swallowing a cat"

My best of all time was Charles Dickens:
"There stood Mrs.Feziwig, one vast substantial smile."

Any other offers?

 

[MathGirl]

Descriptive phrase

"He looked as if the world had just dropped out of his bottom"

Terry Pratchett

 

[Un-registered]

Re: Descriptive phrase

"He looked as if the world had just dropped out of his bottom"
Terry Pratchett

I prefer your first one!

 

[NoJo]

I've never forgotten this description of a man launching into song in an Irish pub from Spike Milligan's "Puckoon": it was so unusual:

When he sang, only the top of his head moved, the lower jaw remaining stationary.

 

[MathGirl]

When he sang, only the top of his head moved, the lower jaw remaining stationary.

I'm not so sure anyone could do that, but it would be disconcerting to see.

 

[NoJo]

But I bet you tried it before posting...

 

[MathGirl]

Confession

But I bet you tried it before posting...

Yes, I did. Even tried holding my jaw. With an elbow on the desk and the heel of the hand under the jaw, it's possible. I don't think it would be much good for singing, though.

Ps. I made sure nobody was watching.

 

[TheEarl]

Paraphrased - He scratched his beard, but stopped as soon as he realised what he was doing. Jack always used to take the piss out of him strokinghis beard, which apprently 'looked like a squirrel's shagging your mouth.'

Very, very paraphrased Christopher Brookmyre. Haven't got the book here with me.

The Earl

 

[MathGirl]

Interesting (ugh) descriptive sentence

"Sharon used a long fingernail to work a world-class coke booger out of her left nostril. She saw that it contained lots of white powder, so she replaced it."

Tim Dorsey