Best Lines Ever

[Pleasure_Fan]

Mystery Men

Mr. Furious: It's a Harley... compatible. Basically the same engineering...

Invisible Boy: Hey Dad, I'm going to my room with three strange men.

The Shoveller: We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork, and the hammer of not bickering!

Captain Amazing: Nemesi... nemesee... What's the plural on that?

The Sphinx: To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

Mr. Furious: Why am I doing this, again?
The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
The Sphinx: [looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet] I don't remember telling you to do that [walks away].

Blue Raja: All I'm saying is, when we split the check three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man every time!

Mr. Furious: Momma Pajama! (I use that as an expletive to this day... )

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Mystery Men

Mr. Furious: It's a Harley... compatible. Basically the same engineering...

Invisible Boy: Hey Dad, I'm going to my room with three strange men.

The Shoveller: We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork, and the hammer of not bickering!

Captain Amazing: Nemesi... nemesee... What's the plural on that?

The Sphinx: To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

Mr. Furious: Why am I doing this, again?
The Sphinx: When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
Mr. Furious: And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?
The Sphinx: [looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet] I don't remember telling you to do that [walks away].

Blue Raja: All I'm saying is, when we split the check three ways the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad-man every time!

Mr. Furious: Momma Pajama! (I use that as an expletive to this day... )

GOD, I love this movie!

"Let's see what's shaking over at the Chez Casa Casanova!"

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

GOD, I love this movie!

"Let's see what's shaking over at the Chez Casa Casanova!"

I force everyone I can into watching this movie. They all end up loving it

JUNK IT!!!

 

[graceanne]

Don't you decorate your sister's car with condoms, it's tacky!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I force everyone I can into watching this movie. They all end up loving it

JUNK IT!!!

"It goes right up the point of being... confusing."

"Want a little whipped cream, Mr. Cherry Top?!"

"Don't mess with a volcano, cause I will go POMPEII on your butt!"

 

[rekane]

"P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?"

 

[TimberRattler]

Tig: So what, you wanna fucking bond or something'?

Juice: Well, yeah. I just thought since [notices Tig is removing his pants] - Hey! What the fuck are you doin' man!?

Tig: Relax. I'm just gonna dip my nuts in your mouth. You'll gag. I'll laugh. We'll be best friends forever




Tig: Whoa! Where you goin'? You heard Clay, family stays put.

Gemma: I'm going to find Jax. So you've got two choices: tackle me, or tag along cupcake.

Tig: [reluctantly follows Gemma out the door] This is why I beat hookers


from Sons of Anarchy

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Waffler: I... am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I BASH the enemy in the head, or I burn them like so! I also have some truth syrup, which is low in fat.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Tig: So what, you wanna fucking bond or something'?

Juice: Well, yeah. I just thought since [notices Tig is removing his pants] - Hey! What the fuck are you doin' man!?

Tig: Relax. I'm just gonna dip my nuts in your mouth. You'll gag. I'll laugh. We'll be best friends forever




Tig: Whoa! Where you goin'? You heard Clay, family stays put.

Gemma: I'm going to find Jax. So you've got two choices: tackle me, or tag along cupcake.

Tig: [reluctantly follows Gemma out the door] This is why I beat hookers


from Sons of Anarchy

LOVE Sons...

"I loved her too, man."

 

[Lord_Michael]

Roman Maronie (Richard Dimitri)

"You fargin' sneaky bastich. I gonna takea you dwork, I gonna nail it to the wall! I gonna crusha you boils in a meat grinder! I gonna cut offa you arms, I gonna shove 'em up you icehole!"

Johnny Dangerously

 

[Keroin]

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?"




*Wanders off humming Raiders theme song*

 

[rekane]

So I Married an Axe Murderer


I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

~~~​

Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
...The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

~~~​

HEED! PANTS! NOW!

~~~​

Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a "bitch". And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or "shiv", and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria!


*sigh* I miss Phil Hartman.

 

[rekane]

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?"




*Wanders off humming Raiders theme song*

Thanks for that earworm, Keroin!

 

[Keroin]

Thanks for that earworm, Keroin!

I excel at earworms. Just ask ITW.

Da da da-da, da da-da...

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I excel at earworms. Just ask ITW.

Da da da-da, da da-da...

I don't love you, you don't love me!



Firmly implanted for the weekend. Damn you.

Um, this was a Trio reference, right? If not, I'm wasting brain cells.

 

[rekane]

I don't love you, you don't love me!



Firmly implanted for the weekend. Damn you.

Um, this was a Trio reference, right? If not, I'm wasting brain cells.

Ah, Trio...
A better song is "Anna - Letmein, Letmeout"
But, I digress.

Back to best lines ever:

"In just 7 days, I can make you a ma-a-a-a-an!"

Rocky Horror Picture Show

 

[Keroin]

If not, I'm wasting brain cells.

This.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

This.

Hey, shouldn't you be revising your new novel, a penguin-meets-pillow fort epic???

At least I'm drinking a big fat glass of wine on a Friday afternoon, with no deadline over my head, and thus have many excuses for thick, joyous brainfog.







But now I'm singing Trio.

 

[Keroin]

Hey, shouldn't you be revising your new novel, a pillow fort epic???

You mean the one with all the cuddling?

At least I'm drinking a big fat glass of wine on a Friday afternoon, with no deadline over my head, and thus have many excuses for thick, joyous brainfog.

Mmmmmmm, brainfog.

I am slogging even now. Shamelessly using Lit while I wait for partner responses.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

You mean the one with all the cuddling?

YES! Much cuddling! Action chase scenes with cuddling. And LOLing. And big gas truck explosions after the cuddling! And time travel.

I am slogging even now. Shamelessly using Lit while I wait for partner responses.

Suuuuuuuuuuuure you are.

 

[Lord_Michael]

Hal 9000

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

2001: A Space Oddysey

 

[midwestyankee]

"Who are those guys?"

"Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?"

"E.T. phone home."

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

All right, Vince, hit him in the head, right between the eyes.

 

[Aurantica]

"Dont panic"


Useful advice in so many ways.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Life of Brian

Brian: Excuse me, are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: Fuck off!! We're the People's Front of Judea!!

Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in.

Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the Latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.