Best Lines Ever

Tombstone is the only western that I will voluntarily watch.

I've seen Tombstone. Unforgiven is the only Western I'll voluntarily watch - and I must have watched Unforgiven a dozen times over the years.


Little Bill: "You just shot an unarmed man."

Will Munny: "He should have armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend."
 
Willis, Parker and Malkovich

Frank Moses (Bruce Willis): It's not that bad. People get shot all the time.
Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker): No they don't. They get paper cuts.
Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich): I mostly get shot.


-- Red
 
Designing Women

Suzanne Sugarbaker: Well, I just can't believe that she's keeping us waiting so long. I mean, I have better things to do with my time than sitting around, waiting for some concubine to fall out of bed. I could be sitting at home, watching "Green Acres"!
 
Joe E. Lewis (Frank Sinatra)

"A man doesn't know what hapiness is until he's married. By then it's too late."

The Joker is Wild
 
Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) to Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt)

"You make me want to be a better man."

"As Good As It Gets"
 
This was from a Louis CK show:

"If you're going to yell something out, we've got this new thing that you're supposed to do. Instead of yelling write it down on a piece of paper, get up from your seat, leave the theater, go home and kill yourself."
 
"Women have secrets. Water's wet, the sky is blue, women have secrets. Who gives a fuck?"

...

Jimmy: "Say man, you ever play ball? You got a good build."
Joe: "What are you, a fag?"
Jimmy: "No, I'm just trying to break the ice."
Joe: "I like ice. Leave it the fuck alone."

...

Jimmy: "Cory could have plenty of rich guys. Me, she loved."
Joe: "Oh, love, well, forget about that."
Jimmy: "You don't believe in love?"
Joe: "Yeah, I believe in love. I believe in cancer."
Jimmy: "What, they're both diseases?"
Joe: "Something like that."

The Last Boy Scout (For a lousy film with crappy acting, it had some great lines)
 
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