Best Lines Ever
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midwestyankee
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Risky Business.
midwestyankee
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It's a great line from a fine movie.
Lord_Michael
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Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she has to walk into mine."
Casablanca
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she has to walk into mine."
Casablanca
Cattypuss
Miaow
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"Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-446513/Carry-On-quip-voted-funniest-liner.html
Kenneth Williams' Carry On gag "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!" has been voted the funniest film one-liner.
Williams uttered the words as Julius Caesar in 1964 romp Carry On Cleo.
It was named the best one-liner in a poll of 1,000 comedians, industry figures and film fans by Sky Movies Comedy.
Second in the survey was from the Life of Brian: "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."
Third was the Airplane! classic in which Leslie Nielseon is told: "Surely you can't be serious," and replies: "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley."
Nine of the top 10 one-liners were delivered by men.
They include Woody Allen's famous quip from Annie Hall: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Bob McCabe, film critic and author of The Rough Guide To Comedy, said: "It's great to see two British movies in the top three and well-established classics with great lasting power.
"I thought that Kenneth Williams would win, as it is a great stand-alone joke, the joke is simple and no build-up to the line is needed."
Top 10:
1) "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"
Kenneth Williams as Julius Caesar - Carry On Cleo (1964)
2) "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."
Terry Jones as Brian's mum - Life Of Brian (1979)<</em>
3) "Surely you can't be serious?" "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley."
Leslie Nielsen as Dr Rumack - Airplane! (1980)
4) "Remember you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did."
Groucho Marx as Rufus T Firefly - Duck Soup (1933)
5) "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Woody Allen as Alvy Singer - Annie Hall (1977)
6) "Do you have a licence for your minkey?"
Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau - The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)
7) "Is that... is that hair gel?"
Cameron Diaz as Mary Jensen - There's Something About Mary (1998)
8) Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room."
Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley - Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1963)
9) "Nice beaver!" "Thank you. I just had it stuffed."
Leslie Nielsen as Lt Frank Drebin and Priscilla Presley as Jane Spencer - The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! (1988)
10) "When I met Mary I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her."
Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas - Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-quip-voted-funniest-liner.html#ixzz1JQ1nRX5L
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-446513/Carry-On-quip-voted-funniest-liner.html
Kenneth Williams' Carry On gag "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!" has been voted the funniest film one-liner.
Williams uttered the words as Julius Caesar in 1964 romp Carry On Cleo.
It was named the best one-liner in a poll of 1,000 comedians, industry figures and film fans by Sky Movies Comedy.
Second in the survey was from the Life of Brian: "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."
Third was the Airplane! classic in which Leslie Nielseon is told: "Surely you can't be serious," and replies: "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley."
Nine of the top 10 one-liners were delivered by men.
They include Woody Allen's famous quip from Annie Hall: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Bob McCabe, film critic and author of The Rough Guide To Comedy, said: "It's great to see two British movies in the top three and well-established classics with great lasting power.
"I thought that Kenneth Williams would win, as it is a great stand-alone joke, the joke is simple and no build-up to the line is needed."
Top 10:
1) "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"
Kenneth Williams as Julius Caesar - Carry On Cleo (1964)
2) "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy."
Terry Jones as Brian's mum - Life Of Brian (1979)<</em>
3) "Surely you can't be serious?" "I am serious - and don't call me Shirley."
Leslie Nielsen as Dr Rumack - Airplane! (1980)
4) "Remember you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did."
Groucho Marx as Rufus T Firefly - Duck Soup (1933)
5) "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Woody Allen as Alvy Singer - Annie Hall (1977)
6) "Do you have a licence for your minkey?"
Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau - The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)
7) "Is that... is that hair gel?"
Cameron Diaz as Mary Jensen - There's Something About Mary (1998)
8) Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room."
Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley - Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1963)
9) "Nice beaver!" "Thank you. I just had it stuffed."
Leslie Nielsen as Lt Frank Drebin and Priscilla Presley as Jane Spencer - The Naked Gun: From The Files of Police Squad! (1988)
10) "When I met Mary I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her."
Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas - Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-quip-voted-funniest-liner.html#ixzz1JQ1nRX5L
TimberRattler
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Mia: I look like a moose!
Paolo: Yes, but a very cute moose! Make all the boy moose go "HWAANGH"
From The Princess Diaries
Paolo: Yes, but a very cute moose! Make all the boy moose go "HWAANGH"
From The Princess Diaries
Lord_Michael
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Elwood (Dan Ackroyd) & Jake Blues (John Belushi)
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it!"
The Blues Brothers
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it!"
The Blues Brothers
Curious_in_Cali
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'Having a kid is like getting a tattoo on your face...you better make sure you are committed to it"
~ Eat, Pray, Love
~ Eat, Pray, Love
Keroin
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Curious_in_Cali
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"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll bewaiting." -Tinkerbell
~Peter Pan
~Peter Pan
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
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"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
~ The Notebook
~ The Notebook
midwestyankee
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"Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."
Lord_Michael
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Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas)
"The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit."
Wall Street
"The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit."
Wall Street
kiwi_submissive
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DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
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Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
-Men in Black
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
-Men in Black
Pleasure_Fan
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I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.
I bet she gives great helmet.
You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!
Never have that damn thing down in front of me. How I do I know you're not making faces at me under that thing?
It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.
I bet she gives great helmet.
You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!
Never have that damn thing down in front of me. How I do I know you're not making faces at me under that thing?
Curious_in_Cali
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"When I was a kid, my father had this dog that started to get all weak and sickly. He takes it to the vet, he examines it and says a maggot must have laid eggs in the dog's butt. The baby maggots have crawled up, now they've started to grow, and eventually they're gonna eat the dog alive from the inside. He says it should be put to sleep, because it's an old dog anyway. But father won't do it. He takes the dog home, he puts it on the bed, he reaches up into the dog, picking out the maggots with his finger, one by one. It takes him all night, but he gets every last one. That dog outlived my father. That's love, Sam."
"And I don't mean that in a trivial way. I'm a photographer, I've seen a lot of things. I once took pictures of a man who ate his own legs, and you would be the black sheep of that family."
Both from Addicted to Love
"And I don't mean that in a trivial way. I'm a photographer, I've seen a lot of things. I once took pictures of a man who ate his own legs, and you would be the black sheep of that family."
Both from Addicted to Love
YourCaptor
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More quoteness
Lord_Michael
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Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise
Col. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Kaffee: "I think I'm entitled to them."
Col. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Kaffee: "I want the truth."
Col. Jessup: "You can't handle the truth!"
A Few Good Men
Col. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Kaffee: "I think I'm entitled to them."
Col. Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Kaffee: "I want the truth."
Col. Jessup: "You can't handle the truth!"
A Few Good Men
The Wild One
Mildred: What're you rebelling against, Johnny?
Johnny: Whaddya got?
American Beauty
Lester Burnham: It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Angus
Grandpa: As for what anybody else thinks, always remember these words and live by them: screw 'em!
Mildred: What're you rebelling against, Johnny?
Johnny: Whaddya got?
American Beauty
Lester Burnham: It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Angus
Grandpa: As for what anybody else thinks, always remember these words and live by them: screw 'em!
Last edited:
Raising Arizona
H.I.: What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?
Ed McDonnough: Short for Edwina. Turn to the right.
H.I.: You're a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower.
Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
Mighty fine cereal flakes, Mrs. McDonough.
Son, you got a panty on your head.
I found myself driving past convenience stores... that weren't on the way home.
I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.
Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.
Fargo
And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper.
I have mad love for the Coen brothers.
H.I.: What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?
Ed McDonnough: Short for Edwina. Turn to the right.
H.I.: You're a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower.
~~~
Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
~~~
Mighty fine cereal flakes, Mrs. McDonough.
~~~
Son, you got a panty on your head.
~~~
I found myself driving past convenience stores... that weren't on the way home.
~~~
I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.
~~~
Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
H.I.: Someone oughta sell tickets.
Glen: Sure, I'd buy one.
~~~
Fargo
And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper.
I have mad love for the Coen brothers.
ArchLady03
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"Yes, I know exactly." -Robbie 'Atonement'
satindesire
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This is from "Shit my Dad Says"
"No. I want the salad...Live a little? I'm ordering lunch. I don't have a choice between salad or fucking skydiving."
"He's a politician. It's like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're fucking them."
"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
"No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. You got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's."
“You seen my cell phone?...What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone."
"I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"
"War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."
"I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."
"Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit."
“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."
"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."
"I need to change clothes? Wow. That's big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn's."
"Remember how you used to make fun of me for being bald?...No, I'm not gonna make a joke. I'll let your mirror do that."
That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."
"I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2"
"No. I want the salad...Live a little? I'm ordering lunch. I don't have a choice between salad or fucking skydiving."
"He's a politician. It's like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're fucking them."
"Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
"No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. You got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's."
“You seen my cell phone?...What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone."
"I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"
"War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."
"I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."
"Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit."
“We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."
"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."
"I need to change clothes? Wow. That's big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn's."
"Remember how you used to make fun of me for being bald?...No, I'm not gonna make a joke. I'll let your mirror do that."
That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."
"I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2"
