Being autistic and random stuff

[stickygirl]

Lightbulb moment from Mom on the Spectrum

 

[Strixaluco]

Lightbulb moment from Mom on the Spectrum

That whole series is so awesome!

But I think it also exists as one or two long ones, if someone doesn't like shorts.

 

[stickygirl]

That whole series is so awesome!

But I think it also exists as one or two long ones, if someone doesn't like shorts.

This one struck a chord with me, because I am so guilty of it. I can hear myself doing it, worrying that I might forget the topic along the way! However, I can do one word comebacks pretty well.

 

[PMarky2]

According to my wife replies come in three sizes - 1 word, 100 words, and 1000 words.

 

[Strixaluco]

This one struck a chord with me, because I am so guilty of it. I can hear myself doing it, worrying that I might forget the topic along the way! However, I can do one word comebacks pretty well.

I vary very much with the 1 word comebacks... Sometimes they are impossible, but in company i trust, like my partner, I can sometimes come up really nice ones that make him laugh.

This has gone around in the autistic community:
https://img.ifunny.co/images/00bdf7f01798cc195415dc9541c09dbdb9f2c5aaca412f2c7b67d05c32e91b52_1.jpg

 

[PMarky2]

I vary very much with the 1 word comebacks... Sometimes they are impossible, but in company i trust, like my partner, I can sometimes come up really nice ones that make him laugh.

This has gone around in the autistic community:
https://img.ifunny.co/images/00bdf7f01798cc195415dc9541c09dbdb9f2c5aaca412f2c7b67d05c32e91b52_1.jpg

German type ground signals in the right hand pic... jus' sayin'

 

[stickygirl]

I'm currently listening to a BBC podcast about autism and empathy. The first cited example of a question from an empathy test was 'Can you tell if someone is bored with what you're saying?' I've heard something similar before but it occurred to me that unless the other person actually said 'I'm bored' or 'You're boring' how could you answer this question in any meaningful way?

 

[PMarky2]

I'm currently listening to a BBC podcast about autism and empathy. The first cited example of a question from an empathy test was 'Can you tell if someone is bored with what you're saying?' I've heard something similar before but it occurred to me that unless the other person actually said 'I'm bored' or 'You're boring' how could you answer this question in any meaningful way?

My answer to that would have to be, 'Not really, unless you make it pretty obvious for me to pick up that you are bored by what I am saying. The thousand yard stare and walking away should do it.'

I seem to recall that Autistics can usually 'do' one sort of the empathy, but not the other. Frankly, if I have told you the truth and upset you, I am not going to get it mainly because you asked for the information, I told you the truth, and truth can hurt. On the other hand, if someone describes to me a horrible situation that they have been in, then yes.

 

[Strixaluco]

I'm currently listening to a BBC podcast about autism and empathy. The first cited example of a question from an empathy test was 'Can you tell if someone is bored with what you're saying?' I've heard something similar before but it occurred to me that unless the other person actually said 'I'm bored' or 'You're boring' how could you answer this question in any meaningful way?

It usually takes time for me to pick up on it, but i may manage eventually.

 

[stickygirl]

Okay so I got clickbaited by the title, but then I started watching and enjoying this video about creative writing for NDs. There were a couple of points she raised that resonated like the advice we hear for NTs to 'form a writing habit'. Anyhow here she is and it might help

 

[stickygirl]

I own a couple of 'How to' books on writing and the most recent by Joanne Harris, an author whose work I admire. I've found all such books completely useless. Typically the advice offered is to form habits, to write a little each day, to make notes and read other authors. Those are all sensible ideas to most people, but not if you're on that sodding spectrum. On reading Harris' book I found my intelligence insulted and her advice pushing me into a stubborn, childish "I won't!" In fact the advice had a definite negative effect on me, stalling my creativity and making me doubt my own abilities.

I've spent a couple of years trying to forget that I wrote anything at all and pretending I didn't care if I never wrote again. 'It isn't important,' I kept telling myself. 'It's time to move on. Step outside, go sailing, shag your boyfriend silly.' The itch remained, like a mossie bite with a scab that your mother scolded you for touching: 'Forget it's there!' she'd tell me. Unfortunately there is no antihistamine cream for writing... maybe alcohol and oblivion?

TLDR? Fair enough
Here's a YT vid that might help. If you're neurotypical, you might find it just odd. I lapped it up and I love that she's so clearly autistic

I guess the take away point is that if the given advice doesn't help you, look for different advice.

 

[PMarky2]

I own a couple of 'How to' books on writing and the most recent by Joanne Harris, an author whose work I admire. I've found all such books completely useless. Typically the advice offered is to form habits, to write a little each day, to make notes and read other authors. Those are all sensible ideas to most people, but not if you're on that sodding spectrum. On reading Harris' book I found my intelligence insulted and her advice pushing me into a stubborn, childish "I won't!" In fact the advice had a definite negative effect on me, stalling my creativity and making me doubt my own abilities.

I've spent a couple of years trying to forget that I wrote anything at all and pretending I didn't care if I never wrote again. 'It isn't important,' I kept telling myself. 'It's time to move on. Step outside, go sailing, shag your boyfriend silly.' The itch remained, like a mossie bite with a scab that your mother scolded you for touching: 'Forget it's there!' she'd tell me. Unfortunately there is no antihistamine cream for writing... maybe alcohol and oblivion?

TLDR? Fair enough
Here's a YT vid that might help. If you're neurotypical, you might find it just odd. I lapped it up and I love that she's so clearly autistic

I guess the take away point is that if the given advice doesn't help you, look for different advice.

Yep, yep, yep, and yep. I can identify with a lot of the comments she makes about the usual motivation strategies. They just do not work if you are ND. I have always had a sneaking envy for Anthony Trollope who could stand at his desk and bang down 2000 words every morning before he went to the office. That regime would simply make me crazy, even though I admire the discipline.

Even though most of what I write is non-fiction, it still requires one to sit down and get on with it. At the moment, I am not very productive as things are out of whack in my life, and merely functioning is sucking energy like a clapped out A/C unit. I managed a short piece earlier this week, and have been looking at and adding to a piece I started over a year ago, but that has been it.

 

[stickygirl]

Any of you guys know Pride & Prejudice?
I just replied to a Tumblr convo suggesting Darcy was clearly autistic and that Jane Bennet, with her plain speaking ( and fine eyes ) was exactly the partner he needed. Someone to give him guidance on the societal niceties that we all struggle with.

 

[PMarky2]

Any of you guys know Pride & Prejudice?
I just replied to a Tumblr convo suggesting Darcy was clearly autistic and that Jane Bennet, with her plain speaking ( and fine eyes ) was exactly the partner he needed. Someone to give him guidance on the societal niceties that we all struggle with.

That's an interesting angle, especially when one considers that quite a few commentators have suggested that Darcy's personality mirrors Jane Austen's herself. Some even suggest that Jane Bennett is based on Tom Lefoy, later Chief Justice of Ireland, who was briefly smitten with the author.

Being on the Spectrum I would really love to be married to some who at least "speaks Autie." Most of my disagreements with my wife are caused by communication failures.

 

[Strixaluco]

Any of you guys know Pride & Prejudice?
I just replied to a Tumblr convo suggesting Darcy was clearly autistic and that Jane Bennet, with her plain speaking ( and fine eyes ) was exactly the partner he needed. Someone to give him guidance on the societal niceties that we all struggle with.

I've sometimes thought the same.

BUT there are cultural things that I've only learned in the last 2 years that explain much of his behaviour away.

First of all, in the society of that time, he was ULTRA rich. Rich among the rich. So all moms wanted their unwed daughters to be married with him, and any unwanted young women wanted the same. So more than enough of unwanted attention.

Second, if you got introduced in a ball to be able to dance, a lady could decide that it only applied during that ball, but a man could not. So socialising freely in the ball would have meant a permanent nuisance for him. The social rules for knowing people, greeting them etc were strict. You could not just forget people you knew - ever. (There was a way of rejecting someone's acquaintance and it was a big deal. It had happened between Mr Darcy and Mr Wickham.) You had to greet them every single time, accept visits etc....

Third, who you were acquainted to was a big deal. It could lift you up or drag you down in the social hierarchy. What Darcy said about the Bennett family was not wise when proposing, but also no joke. You could expect it to be a liability to him. It came just worse with Lydia marrying Wickham.

I find that Jane didn't talk straight enough about her feelings to match Darcy. Elizabeth was better in that sense.

 

[stickygirl]

I've sometimes thought the same.

BUT there are cultural things that I've only learned in the last 2 years that explain much of his behaviour away.

First of all, in the society of that time, he was ULTRA rich. Rich among the rich. So all moms wanted their unwed daughters to be married with him, and any unwanted young women wanted the same. So more than enough of unwanted attention.

Second, if you got introduced in a ball to be able to dance, a lady could decide that it only applied during that ball, but a man could not. So socialising freely in the ball would have meant a permanent nuisance for him. The social rules for knowing people, greeting them etc were strict. You could not just forget people you knew - ever. (There was a way of rejecting someone's acquaintance and it was a big deal. It had happened between Mr Darcy and Mr Wickham.) You had to greet them every single time, accept visits etc....

Third, who you were acquainted to was a big deal. It could lift you up or drag you down in the social hierarchy. What Darcy said about the Bennett family was not wise when proposing, but also no joke. You could expect it to be a liability to him. It came just worse with Lydia marrying Wickham.

I find that Jane didn't talk straight enough about her feelings to match Darcy. Elizabeth was better in that sense.

Wow. You've really looked into this! Good work.

 

[PMarky2]

I've sometimes thought the same.

BUT there are cultural things that I've only learned in the last 2 years that explain much of his behaviour away.

First of all, in the society of that time, he was ULTRA rich. Rich among the rich. So all moms wanted their unwed daughters to be married with him, and any unwanted young women wanted the same. So more than enough of unwanted attention.

Second, if you got introduced in a ball to be able to dance, a lady could decide that it only applied during that ball, but a man could not. So socialising freely in the ball would have meant a permanent nuisance for him. The social rules for knowing people, greeting them etc were strict. You could not just forget people you knew - ever. (There was a way of rejecting someone's acquaintance and it was a big deal. It had happened between Mr Darcy and Mr Wickham.) You had to greet them every single time, accept visits etc....

Third, who you were acquainted to was a big deal. It could lift you up or drag you down in the social hierarchy. What Darcy said about the Bennett family was not wise when proposing, but also no joke. You could expect it to be a liability to him. It came just worse with Lydia marrying Wickham.

I find that Jane didn't talk straight enough about her feelings to match Darcy. Elizabeth was better in that sense.

Ah yes! I had forgotten the social angle. Under the mores of the time Doctors, clergy, and lawyers all remained socially amphibious due to their need to earn money/engage with the lower orders no matter how rich they became, which is why the professions tended to intermarry between themselves, and the military. In the clerical profession, the plums nearly always went to bona fide aristocrats, or clergy with good political connections. For example, Henry Phillpotts who was roughly the same age as Jane Austen married a relative of Lord Eldon, and was closely associated with Wellington, which was enough to propel him to the Bishopric of Exeter. On the other hand, at least three of his contemporaries on the bench were the younger sons of aristocrats who you could bet never did any real parish work.

 

[Lazaran]

This has gone around in the autistic community:
https://img.ifunny.co/images/00bdf7f01798cc195415dc9541c09dbdb9f2c5aaca412f2c7b67d05c32e91b52_1.jpg

So you’re saying Trump is autistic?…because that photo on the right can only be “The Weave”…

 

[Strixaluco]

So you’re saying Trump is autistic?…because that photo on the right can only be “The Weave”…

????? You totally lost me.

I haven't yet many any autistic person who'd show as much disregard for truth as Trump. Some are blind to other than their opinion, but not uncaring.

 

[Strixaluco]

Wow. You've really looked into this! Good work.

I've watched this Youtuber a lot. Ellie Dashwood has clearly researched the etiquette and manners of that era, in addition to Austen's novels. She's funny, too! I loved the novels before, now I get even more out of them.

 

[stickygirl]

I've watched this Youtuber a lot. Ellie Dashwood has clearly researched the etiquette and manners of that era, in addition to Austen's novels. She's funny, too! I loved the novels before, now I get even more out of them.

Dashwood?? No relation of course! Thanks for this - I'll check it out later when I'm home.

In the meantime, medical things. Once I was diagnosed ASD I realised, among many other things, why I used to hate summer as a child. I used to get headaches all the time because no one told me to drink and I seldom feel thirsty... It's a common issue with auties so they become dehydrated = headaches.

Anyhow, I had a routine blood test and the results came back saying I was borderline on liver and kidneys, with the instruction to say to book another test and make sure you are properly hydrated next time. Well that makes sense - I didn't drink a few hours before in case I needed the loo ( they don't have toilets at our surgery ). Besides, I wasn't thirsty. Lesson learned. I've now read I need to be drinking about 3-4li of water a day. Glug glug glug

 

[Strixaluco]

Dashwood?? No relation of course! Thanks for this - I'll check it out later when I'm home.

I suspect I got her in my stream because history... (Loving vintage and historical fashion, etiquette etc etc)

In the meantime, medical things. Once I was diagnosed ASD I realised, among many other things, why I used to hate summer as a child. I used to get headaches all the time because no one told me to drink and I seldom feel thirsty... It's a common issue with auties so they become dehydrated = headaches.

Anyhow, I had a routine blood test and the results came back saying I was borderline on liver and kidneys, with the instruction to say to book another test and make sure you are properly hydrated next time. Well that makes sense - I didn't drink a few hours before in case I needed the loo ( they don't have toilets at our surgery ). Besides, I wasn't thirsty. Lesson learned. I've now read I need to be drinking about 3-4li of water a day. Glug glug glug

For me, summers became nicer when I realised that drinking tap water isn't enough for me, I need electrolytes. Meaning mineral water (no need for fizz) or adding electrolyte powder to my water (without any flavouring or sweetness, to not get a acid attack in my mouth every time). I don't necessarily even need the natrium chloride, but magnesium and potassium are crucial. Seems like I have issues with those. If I don't need extra (may happen in winter), then ordinary tap water simply tastes better.

And needing extra electrolytes apparently isn't that uncommon for autistic people.

 

[stickygirl]

I suspect I got her in my stream because history... (Loving vintage and historical fashion, etiquette etc etc)

For me, summers became nicer when I realised that drinking tap water isn't enough for me, I need electrolytes. Meaning mineral water (no need for fizz) or adding electrolyte powder to my water (without any flavouring or sweetness, to not get a acid attack in my mouth every time). I don't necessarily even need the natrium chloride, but magnesium and potassium are crucial. Seems like I have issues with those. If I don't need extra (may happen in winter), then ordinary tap water simply tastes better.

And needing extra electrolytes apparently isn't that uncommon for autistic people.

You are a mine of useful info. I started taking Potassium tablets last year because I started getting cramps and I can't eat bananas without explosive effects. I always keep rehydration sachets at home but a physio friend suggested most cramps were caused by dehydration and not to overdo the K.
I think this is the problem with alcohol for me. When I pick up a glass of wine I drink it too fast because I suddenly discover I'm thirsty ( not an alcoholic ! ).

 

[Strixaluco]

You are a mine of useful info.

You know how autistic mind works when it's interested... And I've had plenty of interest over the years. I've never understood keeping knowledge to yourself, when it could be shared.

I started taking Potassium tablets last year because I started getting cramps and I can't eat bananas without explosive effects. I always keep rehydration sachets at home but a physio friend suggested most cramps were caused by dehydration and not to overdo the K.

Well, K is certainly NOT to be overdone - it happens easier than with other minerals. It's just so silly that pharmacy tell you to not take it as tablets (easiest way of overdosing) unless your levels are tested and doctors say it's not necessary to test it.

My situation is a bit different. I realised that while I drink enough, it didn't seem to help. Adding Mg & K = heat migraines almost vanished. Also, not feeling off in many situations.

(I've later learned I seem to have HSD which can come with dysautonomia which I definitely seem to have - and extra electrolytes help with the symptoms. HSD might also come with issues absorbing or discarding electrolytes... Oh and I have a medication that can cause hypokalemia. Yet, not tested, unless symptoms are severe, cramping wasn't enough...)

I think this is the problem with alcohol for me. When I pick up a glass of wine I drink it too fast because I suddenly discover I'm thirsty ( not an alcoholic ! ).

Possible I guess. I'm just sensitive. One glass can make me feel dizzy.

 

[ericalauren]

It's odd because when I tell NT people that I am autistic, they say that they never would have guessed. However, when I tell fellow NAT people that I'm autistic, I usually get "I know". Is anyone else like this?