Beer....

[Isolde]

Okay...I have to admit that I have put up several men bashing jokes...so to make up for those times here is one for the men!


Warning: Beer Contains Female Hormones
---------------------------------------
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men
should take a look at their beer consumption, considering
the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence
of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer
makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.
It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked
excessively without making sense, became overly emotional,
couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing,
and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

 

[Neale]

It all becomes clear now...

That explains SOOO much! Thanks for the timely science report, luv!

 

[Isolde]

Here is something else that was sent to me:

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit . . . Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

----------

These quotes are all true and verifiable. Oh, and for what it's worth, Qualye NEVER said "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." (Neither did Gore.) This was a JOKE, which lots of people believed. Quayle doesn't need to have words put in his mouth; he's said enough bonehead things on his own.

 

[Isolde]

Today's Joke:

Materialism

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief...

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

 

[MysteryJKR]

Good Good Good

I was pleasantly suprised that it wasnt a pro beer joke/thread. hehe.

Looks like ill have no problems at all than huh. One of the few manly men left.

 

[Isolde]

Umm...yeah..okay

 

[Ask For More]

If i didn't know better....i'd think all american leaders were real dumbasses....hold on a minute...

 

[Guest]

Isolde

I love your dolls...

 

[Isolde]

Thanks...I love yours too. I have to give credit where credit is due though...Imoen does all my dolls and the one I have currently she made herself from scratch-a very talented lady that one!

 

[Guest]

Ahh to be that talented...

I admit it.... mine come off of webpages lol...

 

[Ask For More]

My fave was the Jen Lopez one....sparked off a brand new fantasy for me ;o]

 

[Isolde]

*laughs* well, all of them that I have used up to now are from websites that Imoen has 'dolled' up (pun intended). I wish I had her talent too.

 

[Guest]

Cheers to Imoen

 

[Mistress]

Hhehehe, cute jokes...