BDSM: Questions and Answers

[Guest]

~cringing~
You're kind, so kind, to offer such a lovely assessment of my inclination to, uh, be first in line with answers, MC.

Around here, though, we all know i get just plain selfish about it sometimes. It gets away from me, that "answering" thing. And since both you and SpectreT have noted it of late, it must be getting away from me again. I'll pull back a bit. Sorry, all.

DON'T YOU DARE STOP!!!!!!!! I THANK you for your posts!!! I love that you can express what needs to be said.

PLEASE NEVER STOP ANSWERING POSTS!!!!

Yes, I'm shouting. I didn't mean, in any way whatsoever, to make you think you were being selfish or monopolozing this thread.
YOU started it!!! I thank you for that!!!

Or should I use the "Dom Wannabe" approach........
I ORDER YOU TO ANSWER ALL POSTS!!!!

ok, enough rambling, I am going back to my subs corner, where I obviously belong, to punish myself for making you feel bad.

You're great Cym, stay the way you are!
MysCyn

 

[MysCynthia]

See what you made me do!

Well Cym,

You made me lose my composure, and that is hard to do.
The last post was from me and you had me so twisted I forgot to sign in!! LOL

Seriously though, this is YOUR thread. You have given more advice, councel, knowledge and understanding to those who don't understand us than could be learned in reading most of the books published to date.
Have you ever thought of writing a book???
Think about it. I bet everyone here would agree with me.

Again, please don't stop being the 1st to offer advice.

MysCyn

 

[MysCynthia]

AND I forgot to do a spell check!!!!!!

LOL Time to go back to bed.

 

[Merelan]

Hey cym... with Risia, WriterDom and Nessus telling you what to do I think you better behave. Who knows what all they could ask of you.

 

[SpectreT]

Heh. (Trying to imagine that scene)

cym's head might explode, with that lot on her case. Well, maybe not. Risia'd be there to keep everyone (including and especially cym) honest. WD would have her logged on to this thread on constant refresh to answer everyone's posts, and Nessus.... well.... (blushing) let's just say it would be...... Interesting, no?

 

[Merelan]

Damn, hadn't really "seen" it that way.

Whew, lucky cym. Wonders if she needs help. Naw, she is the pro here.

I have a notepad and pencil, and plan on taking notes.

 

[Hecate]

Not to step on anyones toes but ...

Wonders if she needs help. Naw, she is the pro here.

I have a notepad and pencil, and plan on taking notes.

Darling pet of mine,

put away that notepad and listen! You need not feel like you have to "learn" - you are wonderfull and perfect and all that I ever could have asked for!

and since everyone else is busy treating cym to a prolongues "per force" stay on this thread (come on cym, don't do that to us!!!!! Dont DARE holding back any of that incredible knowledge or entertaining spirit you have to share!) how about we head off to a more , uhm, private "training session" my sweet little thing?

 

[chatbug]

Greetings

I'm only able to read the bulletin board once or twice a week, so most of the questions are answered before I have a chance. If I notice everyone overlooking a question, I'll usually jump in and try to answer it.

I'm dominant, but sometimes want to play a submissive role. I find myself taking the sub for granted if we're together a long time, and I try to guard against that.

I just wanted to echo everyone's answers to lexie, and say that a true dom will understand a sub's caution and uncertainty. If he / she doesn't, then how could you trust him / her?

 

[RisiaSkye]

Heh. (Trying to imagine that scene)

cym's head might explode, with that lot on her case.

Not just cym's, honey. I'm getting all flushed just thinking about it.

Risia'd be there to keep everyone (including and especially cym) honest.

I don't know you well enough to know the spirit in which it was meant, but it strikes me as a compliment. So, thank you.

 

[cellis]

a new free toy

I went to buy some paint today at Wal-Mart and the very nice man there gave me a new paddle (really a paint stirrer)... it is the size of a ruler, but with a grip at one end... just perfect for a little light paddling...

 

[SpectreT]

Risia, It was, indeed, a compliment. A slightly smartassed one, but a compliment none the less.



<sniffing the rose>

Nice.

 

[SpectreT]

Gah!

I've been bitten by the double-post demon! I tried to edit for spelling, and it doubled up on me!


Wierd........

 

[SpectreT]

Re: a new free toy

I went to buy some paint today at Wal-Mart and the very nice man there gave me a new paddle (really a paint stirrer)... it is the size of a ruler, but with a grip at one end... just perfect for a little light paddling...

Beautiful.

Reminds me of a joke I read once, a list of finishers to the sentence, "You might be a pervert if....."

Your son's GI Joe has Barbie on a leash (or vice-versa)

You keep the True Value Hardware catalog with the other porn.

You're still reading this list.

Those were a few that gave me deep belly laughs. I don't remember th whole list, though.

 

[seXieleXie]

the next step

okay so i'm going to try again to meet this man on friday. we're just going to have lunch in a very public place. i'm meeting him there and don't plan to go anywhere with him afterward. do i need a safe call?

he has been very patient and understanding, espcially now that i've told him how scared i am (and of course, why). i feel better about meeting him after seeing how well he dealt with my little episode.

i want to thank all of you. the past experiance with bdsm that i've alluded to was a very ugly and abusive thing. by the end of the relationship i became convinced i was a sick freak. i locked up my desires in the recesses of memory and told myself i would never go there again. if it wasn't for all of you i doubt i'd ever have unlocked that place, and i know i wouldn't have done it so soon. your courage and support and compassion and humor and unwavering acceptance have made all the difference. though my words are not nearly enough, they're all i have. thank you.

 

[cymbidia]

Love you, lexie.

Go.
Have fun.
Be as open and honest with him as you have been with us.
Give what might be between you a chance to be a thing of your dreams, not an apparition out of your nightmares.

And no safe call is necessary if you stay in public, darlin' - but it was good of you to check.

 

[seXieleXie]

cym!

thanks. question for ya.... have you ever been to the power exchange in san francisco?

 

[Frouwa_Aph]

Re: the next step

okay so i'm going to try again to meet this man on friday. we're just going to have lunch in a very public place. i'm meeting him there and don't plan to go anywhere with him afterward. do i need a safe call?

I don't think you need the full thing... but I'd say you should have someone who you need to call right after lunch, mostly to talk about what happened, but if you don't call, your safe call person can call the police. It never hurts to be cautious.
A public place is a good thing to meet for the first time, both of you can back off, without loosing face.

he has been very patient and understanding, espcially now that i've told him how scared i am (and of course, why). i feel better about meeting him after seeing how well he dealt with my little episode.

Openess is so important, and we told you, that a good person would understand.

i want to thank all of you. the past experiance with bdsm that i've alluded to was a very ugly and abusive thing. by the end of the relationship i became convinced i was a sick freak. i locked up my desires in the recesses of memory and told myself i would never go there again. if it wasn't for all of you i doubt i'd ever have unlocked that place, and i know i wouldn't have done it so soon. your courage and support and compassion and humor and unwavering acceptance have made all the difference. though my words are not nearly enough, they're all i have. thank you.

You're welcome, LeXie. I've personaly found that the BDSM crowd is overall very friendly. We have a regular beginner munch in my hometown and there are always some new people attending. Once they feel a bit more sure they go to our "real" munch, which takes place in a local fetish bar. There is no dress code and even vanillas don't feel too scared in that bar, despite the St. Andrew's Cross on the wall. And they have a playroom too.
(If you know german, take a look: www.cafe-sittsam.com )
It's nice to live in a big town, our scene is very active.

Keep us posted, LeXie. Huggggsssss, you

Monika

 

[seXieleXie]

oOoOo now this is a fun way to practice my german i've forgotten a lot of it though, so hopefully the picture will fill in the gaps

 

[cymbidia]

Re: cym!

thanks. question for ya.... have you ever been to the power exchange in san francisco?

I have not. But i want to go, and will go, sometime in the next little while.

Have you been there?

 

[seXieleXie]

no, i haven't been there. i just read about it online a couple of days ago. look interesting to say the least i just wondered if you'd been. i think i may go when next i am in california.

 

[MissTaken]

Lexie,

I just had a thought.

I like how cym has someone who reviews her potential "dates." I would be willing to do that for you , if you like.

The reason I thought of this in terms of you, is that in all likelihood, we are talking to some of the same men by nature of our location.

If interested, we can compare notes and share e mails.

While I have only been at bondage since October, I am not new to online dating and have a pretty discriminating eye and can find contradictory statements a mile away!

Another safety measure can be to get to know others he is freinds with on line or off.

When traveling to Kentucky to meet a Dom, I had his name, address, driver's license id number and phone number. That combined with a safe call, made me and my family feel at ease.

Be well,

Miss T

 

[~tehya~]

i remember something being said about a joke starting with "You might be a pervert if..."

Well...i found this site and thought i''d pass it along. It has some might funny stuff on it.

Enjoy


http://www.leathernroses.com/humor/knowkinky2.htm

 

[Wizard]

i remember something being said about a joke starting with "You might be a pervert if..."

Well...i found this site and thought i''d pass it along. It has some might funny stuff on it.

Enjoy


http://www.leathernroses.com/humor/knowkinky2.htm

I enjoyed it.......I printed it to show a few at work.....................

 

[RisiaSkye]

Hi all...sorry if I'm not around much lately. (Uh-huh, I'm *sure* you're all crying. ) I'm off in double-plus un-fun scholastic hell.

Lexie--You've had the strength to get this far. When you least expect it, you'll find the strength to take the next step with the right Dom/me. And you know you have friends to talk to when you need a little support, right? For you~~ Be well, darlin'. You're almost to the other side of the mess you've been through, okay?

I guess that this really goes for us all, at least sometimes. We've all been in messes, victims and perpetrators of emotional carnage, and we all struggle to get to the other side of it and start fresh. Try to keep this firmly in mind when you need reassurance, if you'll take advice from a 26 year-old pseudo-sage, that is.

Your desires are not *right* or *wrong*, they just are; your needs are not to be *judged* but to be met; your love and passion are not to be *taken* by another but to be given by you.

 

[SpectreT]

still laughing over the link.