bar flirting tips

[jbnet211]

Does anybody got any good tips on flirting with women at a bar.

 

[buxxxom]

Try that "Top Gun" thing. It always works. You know, Righteous Brothers, sing along, all that.

 

[Carnevil9]

Always carry a lighter. When you see a women pull out a cigarette, offer her a light. It worked for Bogey, and it's worked for me......Carney

 

[Spence99]

Look them in the eye. Be interested in them and what they're saying. Not the hot waitress' ass and ordering another beer.

Actually talk to them. Be funny, but not slapsticky!

The key is to recognize a stuck up bitch and find the fun, friendly girls.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Do not flop your dick out and do not ask if they fuck on the first date. And don't stare at their tits. Otherwise, just about anything goes. Be yourself. Talk to them. Just don't be an asshole.

 

[coolr]

and don't offer to stir their drinks with your dick

 

[yoshimitsu]

and don't offer to stir their drinks with your dick

So that's where I keep going wrong.
And here I was just starting to think I was hanging out in the wrong kinda bars.

 

[Bigg_Capone]

Try that "Top Gun" thing. It always works. You know, Righteous Brothers, sing along, all that.

Loads of fun and worth it if you can get a smile out of a woman for makin' an ass of yourself.

Try something the other fellas aren't.

Be yourself, but be original.

 

[unapologetic]

This worked for me more than once

I got this trick from a friend, for whom it worked multiple times:

Find out what your flirt-target is drinking from someone other than the target - the best source of this info is the bartender - and buy one when you see that s/he needs a refill. When you give it to him/her, say "Hi, my name is _____, and I bought this for you because I want you to have a nice night." Now, this is the crucial part: walk away. Their curiosity will bring them back to you if they are even vaguely interested.

It worked both times I did it, and I even got a phone number out if it once.

 

[finaljustice_20]

wow.. I was thinking about posting a topic just like this, as I turn 21 at the end of the month and was looking for some bar scene advice/tips..

I do have a question about it though, maybe anyone could tell me if they agree? I know a lot of women go to bars just because they know guys will buy all their drinks for them.. so I was wondering if I shouldn't even bother buying females drinks at bars, since about every other guy does it. I wouldn't be setting myself apart from every other guy that buys her a drink that night that she won't remember the next day. thoughts?

 

[midwestscribe]

I got this trick from a friend, for whom it worked multiple times:

Find out what your flirt-target is drinking from someone other than the target - the best source of this info is the bartender - and buy one when you see that s/he needs a refill. When you give it to him/her, say "Hi, my name is _____, and I bought this for you because I want you to have a nice night." Now, this is the crucial part: walk away. Their curiosity will bring them back to you if they are even vaguely interested.

It worked both times I did it, and I even got a phone number out if it once.

Your friend may find that works less frequently as time goes by. There are so many warnings on the web and on TV about being careful about having a drink doctored. Any woman who is the least bit cautious and heeds that common sense warning, won't take that drink.

Of course, if she's already had a few, she just might. And, the more she drinks, the better your chances might be anyway. Some guys do find they can only get a date, or even a phone number, if the girl is a bit tipsy and has her "margarita goggles" on.

 

[midwestscribe]

wow.. I was thinking about posting a topic just like this, as I turn 21 at the end of the month and was looking for some bar scene advice/tips..

I do have a question about it though, maybe anyone could tell me if they agree? I know a lot of women go to bars just because they know guys will buy all their drinks for them.. so I was wondering if I shouldn't even bother buying females drinks at bars, since about every other guy does it. I wouldn't be setting myself apart from every other guy that buys her a drink that night that she won't remember the next day. thoughts?

It's good you're asking questions. Too many 21-year olds don't and get themselves in rough spots.

Right off, though, don't even get started cruising bars thinking you're going to find romance or much else that's worthwhile. You might occasionally get laid by a girl you pick up at one, that's a given. But, you'll quickly ask yourself why you even bothered.

You may have already learned this but just in case: Sex with a drunken partner is seldom very fulfilling and is, in fact, usually a real downer. That's even more so if you've had a few yourself.

Save your money and your self respect. Go to bars to have a few with friends but not to pick up girls. Try to meet girls in other environments where they're not expecting to meet lizards, wannabes, and other less-than-desirable types. Then, use the money you saved at the bars and take them out for a nice dinner and a movie. The sex with those girls will be far superior and you will still respect yourself and her in the morning.

 

[unapologetic]

Your friend may find that works less frequently as time goes by. There are so many warnings on the web and on TV about being careful about having a drink doctored. Any woman who is the least bit cautious and heeds that common sense warning, won't take that drink.

Of course, if she's already had a few, she just might. And, the more she drinks, the better your chances might be anyway. Some guys do find they can only get a date, or even a phone number, if the girl is a bit tipsy and has her "margarita goggles" on.

I really hadn't thought of that. Of course, I have to admit that this was years ago. Um, like 13 or so. Having been happily not single for the last ten years, I've lost touch with stuff like that. Also, in both cases, the person to whom I gave the drink was close to if not completely sober.

Of course, you could always have the bartender deliver the drink, but that's kind of cliche.

Finally, without wanting to start a fight, I want to say that, while some "guys" may find this the only way to get a date, as a female I never had that problem.

 

[highconcept]

bartender advice

I'm a bartender. I work in three different kinds of bars in Austin. One is a college bar. The other is a super hip trendy bar. The other is also sort of trendy and hip but more laid back and casual.

So heres what Ive picked up in the time I've worked there. Most girls are NOT there to be picked up. Sucks I know. But women have a whole different agenda then men do. Sure, they like the attention but they usually already have a guy they are there to see. And they like you to think they look hot and all. But they do NOT want to talk to you. Unless you look like my friend who was 6'4, looks like Brad Pitt, and had the fashion sense of all 5 Queer Eye guys. Women got in line to throw themselves at him.

Here's what I think...pick a bar or two you like with a good amount of girls. And then, get friendly with the bartenders. Male and female. Quick note: don't even bother trying to pick up hot female bartenders. But do be their friend. The bartenders know everyone and if they dont they will help you out. How do you get friendly? Be friendly. Find out their names. Dont be offended if we dont remember yours at first. Come in. Be loyal. And yeah...tip well. You dont have to leave 100 or anything but if you tip shitty, I aint gonna be friendly.

But I talk to a lot of girls. And if theyre hot I usually buy their drinks. And a lot of times if my male regular is standing next to them, I will say: "He bought it!" The rest is up to you. Be nice. Dont be creepy or aggressive. And look, chances are the girls will be polite but probably end it quick. Dont sweat it. But the hardest thing is getting in there. And going in cold usually ensures it wont happen. But now the ice is broken. Speaking of: my new joke is: How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Its so cheesy but I know it works because our hot asian bartender loved it. And like I said, theyve heard it all.

Look, truthfully, you want to meet hot girls? Get a bunch of blow. I know. LAME. But really, you will be everybodies best friend. Coke is huge. I dont do drugs. But hot blondes do. Had to be said. Not recommended.

For for the 21 year old guy, get a job at a bar. Ive never met more hot girls. Seriously, Ive gone home with women I never in my life would have ever thought would look at me. I mean girls who are a 9 or 10. This does NOT happen every day. But for some of our staff, it does. Some of our guys sleep with gorgeous women constantly. Why? Because all the horrible awkwardness. The staccato name rank and serial number question and answer while they look around for someone more important. The who the fuck are you get away from me shit. Its all gone. Now Im the cute bartender who knows their friend. That NEVER happened to me when I worked in an office. There were a million guys like me. No one cared.

But anyway...get some cool clothes (always worth the money and they make you feel confident). Do your hair. Smile a lot.

I know I said all this...but heres the other thing I learned. And its a double edged sword. Its nothing you do. Your friends tell you...you were too aggressive or not aggressive enough or whatever. Its bullshit. You prepare. Youre ready...in case shit goes your way. But its all her. If she digs you...it doesnt matter if shit is in your teeth and you smell funny. She is there man. She will LET you know. They always do. And thats how it is. You're along for the ride. And its not usually most nights. But some nights...I shit you not...the stars line up. Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Take it from one.

Its like The Stranger told the Dude:"Sometimes you eat the bar. And sometimes the bar eats you."

Thats what I got. Oh and read The Game by Neil Strauss. Good luck man. Be patient. I swear, sooner or later you will have a good night. And it will all be worth it.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Look, truthfully, you want to meet hot girls? Get a bunch of blow. I know. LAME. But really, you will be everybodies best friend. Coke is huge. I dont do drugs. But hot blondes do. Had to be said. Not recommended.

LMAO

It's sad cause it's true

 

[Ashleigh_C]

Bars are generally non-conducive to meeting anyone worthwhile imo.

Anyway, I know it's a cliche, but just be yourself. Canned pickup lines are a big nono. Just strike up a conversation about anything. You should be able to perceive if the other person is at all interested in you from the get-go.

 

[Lakewoody]

Do not flop your dick out and do not ask if they fuck on the first date. And don't stare at their tits. Otherwise, just about anything goes. Be yourself. Talk to them. Just don't be an asshole.

Best advice right there

 

[finaljustice_20]

to the ones that say women don't go to bars to get picked up by guys, then where do they go to get picked up?

 

[Ashleigh_C]

to the ones that say women don't go to bars to get picked up by guys, then where do they go to get picked up?

Funerals.

But.. maybe that's just me.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I'm a bartender. I work in three different kinds of bars in Austin. One is a college bar. The other is a super hip trendy bar. The other is also sort of trendy and hip but more laid back and casual.

So heres what Ive picked up in the time I've worked there. Most girls are NOT there to be picked up. Sucks I know. But women have a whole different agenda then men do. Sure, they like the attention but they usually already have a guy they are there to see. And they like you to think they look hot and all. But they do NOT want to talk to you. Unless you look like my friend who was 6'4, looks like Brad Pitt, and had the fashion sense of all 5 Queer Eye guys. Women got in line to throw themselves at him.

Here's what I think...pick a bar or two you like with a good amount of girls. And then, get friendly with the bartenders. Male and female. Quick note: don't even bother trying to pick up hot female bartenders. But do be their friend. The bartenders know everyone and if they dont they will help you out. How do you get friendly? Be friendly. Find out their names. Dont be offended if we dont remember yours at first. Come in. Be loyal. And yeah...tip well. You dont have to leave 100 or anything but if you tip shitty, I aint gonna be friendly.

But I talk to a lot of girls. And if theyre hot I usually buy their drinks. And a lot of times if my male regular is standing next to them, I will say: "He bought it!" The rest is up to you. Be nice. Dont be creepy or aggressive. And look, chances are the girls will be polite but probably end it quick. Dont sweat it. But the hardest thing is getting in there. And going in cold usually ensures it wont happen. But now the ice is broken. Speaking of: my new joke is: How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Its so cheesy but I know it works because our hot asian bartender loved it. And like I said, theyve heard it all.

Look, truthfully, you want to meet hot girls? Get a bunch of blow. I know. LAME. But really, you will be everybodies best friend. Coke is huge. I dont do drugs. But hot blondes do. Had to be said. Not recommended.

For for the 21 year old guy, get a job at a bar. Ive never met more hot girls. Seriously, Ive gone home with women I never in my life would have ever thought would look at me. I mean girls who are a 9 or 10. This does NOT happen every day. But for some of our staff, it does. Some of our guys sleep with gorgeous women constantly. Why? Because all the horrible awkwardness. The staccato name rank and serial number question and answer while they look around for someone more important. The who the fuck are you get away from me shit. Its all gone. Now Im the cute bartender who knows their friend. That NEVER happened to me when I worked in an office. There were a million guys like me. No one cared.

But anyway...get some cool clothes (always worth the money and they make you feel confident). Do your hair. Smile a lot.

I know I said all this...but heres the other thing I learned. And its a double edged sword. Its nothing you do. Your friends tell you...you were too aggressive or not aggressive enough or whatever. Its bullshit. You prepare. Youre ready...in case shit goes your way. But its all her. If she digs you...it doesnt matter if shit is in your teeth and you smell funny. She is there man. She will LET you know. They always do. And thats how it is. You're along for the ride. And its not usually most nights. But some nights...I shit you not...the stars line up. Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Take it from one.

Its like The Stranger told the Dude:"Sometimes you eat the bar. And sometimes the bar eats you."

Thats what I got. Oh and read The Game by Neil Strauss. Good luck man. Be patient. I swear, sooner or later you will have a good night. And it will all be worth it.

If you weren't already in the hook up, I'd buy YOU a beer for this wisdom!

Except for that last part about "The Game." Well, I dunno about other cities, but here in NYC I can tell you that that book was run down and thoroughly played out...to the point where women were "Gamespotting" guys trying to run the exact shit "The Game" tries to teach. It's an amusing read as is, but I wouldn't exactly use it as gospel for cruising bars.

 

[unapologetic]

to the ones that say women don't go to bars to get picked up by guys, then where do they go to get picked up?

Um, back in the 90s that was where I went to get picked up by guys (or girls, or to do the picking up myself). Also, that's where I met my husband (and we've been married for almost 9 years). Strange but true.

 

[jbnet211]

Thanks for the tips

They are very helpful in aiding me in the dating game. I'm a college student and my friends usually go to bars instead of parties. Do any body have any advice on getting a date in college.

 

[Trajal]

They are very helpful in aiding me in the dating game. I'm a college student and my friends usually go to bars instead of parties. Do any body have any advice on getting a date in college.

Heres what I used to do.. Worked for me 4/10. Bearing in mind that for every ten "no thanks" I got, I got laid four times. That's a good average on a night.

Stand by the bar, wait for said target to approach. Listen to what she buys, including what she gets for her friend.

Then, next time, beat her to the bar, order what you want and also whatever it was that she bought.

Smile and just say "I thought you were very pretty, I'm alone, hope you're not offended".

Most will laugh, offer for you to join them (knowing damn well you want to get your end away) and be flattered that you thought they were pretty.

Some will just laugh and leave you alone. Let them enjoy their drink, just like you enjoyed the rush of buying one for them. You're in this long term not for an instant win, if you wanted that you'd see a hooker.

Here's a hint though... Don't say it unless you mean it. If a girl is pretty then go for it, but if you don't feel it then don't try it.

So that's my trick for meeting girls... ply them with alcohol and compliment them.

Not rocket science.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Heres what I used to do.. Worked for me 4/10. Bearing in mind that for every ten "no thanks" I got, I got laid four times. That's a good average on a night.

Stand by the bar, wait for said target to approach. Listen to what she buys, including what she gets for her friend.

Then, next time, beat her to the bar, order what you want and also whatever it was that she bought.

Smile and just say "I thought you were very pretty, I'm alone, hope you're not offended".

Most will laugh, offer for you to join them (knowing damn well you want to get your end away) and be flattered that you thought they were pretty.

Some will just laugh and leave you alone. Let them enjoy their drink, just like you enjoyed the rush of buying one for them. You're in this long term not for an instant win, if you wanted that you'd see a hooker.

Here's a hint though... Don't say it unless you mean it. If a girl is pretty then go for it, but if you don't feel it then don't try it.

So that's my trick for meeting girls... ply them with alcohol and compliment them.

Not rocket science.

Nothing personal against your methods, sirrah...but I ain't NEVER "enjoyed the rush" of buying a woman a free drink who doesn't even bother talking to me!

If I did THAT shit every time I went out, it'd be like buying drinks for myself that I spilled on the counter on purpose. I dunno how they're priced where you live, but over here "drinks" — meaning the psuedo-trendy shit you have to mix and not those three-dollar Pabst Blue Ribbon pints outta the tap — ain't cheap and that's just for the midrange scenemaker bars where people (mostly guys) go to when their luck isn't enough to get them past velvet rope joints. It's a buyer's market for women who can sponge off of men jumping at the bit to buy them drinks the whole night thinking it really means something. Alcohol should be a compliment to be enjoyed, not a trick to be used.

If you got money like that and the few times you do hit the mark justifies the rent subsidy-level expenses in getting there, well you're a better man than I am and I'll buy YOU a beer next time! But we less flashier working stiffs in this part of town have a better method: Introduce yourself to the person of your affections and start a conversation like regular people. If the talk goes well and you feel some basic attraction being thrown back your way, then offer to take her to another place you know better and buy her a drink or two THERE. If she's not feeling like bar hopping and wants to stay put or she's with her girlfriends or a group of people but is already inside the conversational zone the two of you created, then buy her a drink to continue the flow. Either way, even if you don't "score," you at least had the pleasure of her company and undivided attention for the evening, which is lightyears better than any rush you could get from just buying her a drink for an opener.

It might be just the general scene here and not there. Dunno. Everyplace and everybody's different. I just don't see a virtue in giving a woman an easy way out with your money that'll leave you at the bar looking like an open wallet.

 

[Trajal]

Nothing personal against your methods, sirrah...but I ain't NEVER "enjoyed the rush" of buying a woman a free drink who doesn't even bother talking to me!

If I did THAT shit every time I went out, it'd be like buying drinks for myself that I spilled on the counter on purpose. I dunno how they're priced where you live, but over here "drinks" — meaning the psuedo-trendy shit you have to mix and not those three-dollar Pabst Blue Ribbon pints outta the tap — ain't cheap and that's just for the midrange scenemaker bars where people (mostly guys) go to when their luck isn't enough to get them past velvet rope joints. It's a buyer's market for women who can sponge off of men jumping at the bit to buy them drinks the whole night thinking it really means something. Alcohol should be a compliment to be enjoyed, not a trick to be used.

If you got money like that and the few times you do hit the mark justifies the rent subsidy-level expenses in getting there, well you're a better man than I am and I'll buy YOU a beer next time! But we less flashier working stiffs in this part of town have a better method: Introduce yourself to the person of your affections and start a conversation like regular people. If the talk goes well and you feel some basic attraction being thrown back your way, then offer to take her to another place you know better and buy her a drink or two THERE. If she's not feeling like bar hopping and wants to stay put or she's with her girlfriends or a group of people but is already inside the conversational zone the two of you created, then buy her a drink to continue the flow. Either way, even if you don't "score," you at least had the pleasure of her company and undivided attention for the evening, which is lightyears better than any rush you could get from just buying her a drink for an opener.

It might be just the general scene here and not there. Dunno. Everyplace and everybody's different. I just don't see a virtue in giving a woman an easy way out with your money that'll leave you at the bar looking like an open wallet.

Lord knows. I've worked in London for some time now, things maybe different here. I have no idea if we're better off (probably, to be honest) financially or not. Regardless. A few drinks for a couple of girls? What the hell is that, like.. £10 tops.. (or about $20 USD) which in fairness isn't exactly a huge amount.

I mean, a glass of wine at a decent bar on the strand is about £13 for crying out loud. Stop being such a tightwad lol.