Banter!

[Rustyoznail]

From a WIP...

"Tell you what, we'll toss a coin to settle who gets to break in the bed. How's that sound?"

"You have coins?"

"Well, yes. I plan to buy fruit and veg from local farmers, and they prefer cash. Your call."

"Tails, but what if it magically lands on the edge?"

"Then we both share the bed, and toss again to see who gets which side."

"And again, if..."

"You can be on top."

"You are a gentleman."

 

[Smuttyandfun]

From: 'My Plus One'

"Have you heard about the ghost that's supposed to be haunting this place, apparently he's a flasher," his mother whispered to Marina.

"Really?" Marina giggled. "That's hilarious. Doesn't sound like your typical ghost."

"I think it might be fun to run into him, just to see if it's true." Marina nodded in agreement, as she reached for her wine, then she nearly choked on it when his mother remarked, "Imagine coming back from the dead, just to wave your willy around at poor unsuspecting people. Of course, he might be on the small side, and has issues."

 

[NoTalentHack]

"I'm sorry to bother you, but, well... I could see you didn't want to be bothered, and that just wasn't going to happen." He raised an eyebrow, and I chuckled. "You're a handsome, apparently single guy in a meat market. You're going to get hit on if there's an opportunity. The empty seat next to you? That was an opportunity."

Darius nodded and smiled slightly. "I, ah, I've been out of the game for a while. So, you're bothering me so that I won't be bothered?"

"Something like that. Bothering you for my own curiosity, too. But not bothering you in a way that'll get us hot and bothered, if that's what you're worried about."

 

[WyreBendr0417]

"What the hell time did you get home last night, I don't recall hearing you come in?"

"Well maybe the cheeks of your ass slipped down a little too far over your ears again."

"Yeah, how about you sliding your cheeks down over something?"

"Not a bad idea as long as it's not your, something. You know I never liked acupuncture."

From one of too many works in progress.

My Stories: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5796107&page=submissions

 

[NoTalentHack]

"What the hell time did you get home last night, I don't recall hearing you come in?"

"Well maybe the cheeks of your ass slipped down a little too far over your ears again."

"Yeah, how about you sliding your cheeks down over something?"

"Not a bad idea as long as it's not your, something. You know I never liked acupuncture."

From one of too many works in progress.

My Stories: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5796107&page=submissions

https://media.tenor.com/Yi-OW_iJLIYAAAAM/damn-friday.gif

 

[XerXesXu]

WIP

‘The Neanderthal Oaf has been manhandling my arse again. Would you give him a slap for me?’

‘Of course. Any chance of a shag?’

‘I could give you a slap to pass on.’

 

[MelissaBaby]

WIP:

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Guess who called me?”

“I don’t know. The Pope?”

“Why would you think the Pope called me?’

“Why would you think I wanted to guess?”

 

[Lifestyle66]

"Have you decided which of your toys to take to Ken and Claire’s party? She said the theme is ‘Favorite Toys’ for a show and tell. I was thinking we could bring the cuffs and tethers.”

“No way! You know I only did that after we read the first two ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ books.”

“But you did allow me and Sam to bring them out again for our threesome. And you let me use them on you again just last month.”

“I was too worn out after over that hour of non-stop sucking and fucking with you two. By then, you had me any way you wanted. But no! No bondage stuff for me. I’ll take my Hitachi wand to show. That’s my current favorite. … And after that last time with restraints, I said YOU will be the one wearing the cuffs the next time. So, if you want to go to the party wearing the cuffs, you can tell them how I’m going to tie you up.”

“Ok. Take the Hitachi."
*****************************************

From my next chapter in the Lifestyle series.
(And just for the record, I have gone to a party wearing the cuffs while she held the leash.)

 

[Zootonius]

Two salesmen's car breaks down on a county road. They walk up to the nearby farmhouse where the widow lets them stay the night. Next day the car is fixed and they go their way. Nine month later, one salesman calls the other,

"Joe, remember that widow who's house we stayed in?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Did you sneak into her room that night?"

"Uh, Yeah."

"Did you give her my name."

"Oh, yeah sorry 'bout that. Why do you ask?"

"Seems she died and left me all her money."

 

[pink_silk_glove]

"Who's that doctor you got a crush on again?" Debi asked her sister as she put her leftover lasagna in the microwave.

"Don't be ridiculous," Stacey answered. "What makes you think I have a crush on anyone?"

"You keep talking about him," Debi continued to prod while her fingers blipped one minute onto the timer. "What's his name? Tyler Kirkland?"

"Kirkby."

"Tyler Kirkby," Debi repeated. "Doctor Tyler Kirkby."

"What about him?" Stacey prompted.

"He's a client," said Debi. "I've seen his files."

"Isn't that confidential?" Stacey asked, her expression on the edge of aghast.

"You know he's fuckin' loaded. I've seen his transactions," Debi grinned. "He owns four houses and a vineyard ferfucksakes! You should make a move." The microwave still showed eleven seconds but Debi hit cancel and removed her dinner.

"Make a move?" Stacey asked with a trace of disgust. .... "You should be careful. You've finally got a good job. Don't blow it by snooping in personal documents and getting yourself in trouble."

"It's my job to read 'em," Debi replied, hurriedly putting the hot plate on the table and giving her nearly burned fingers a quick shake. ...

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Debi," her sister admonished as she often did. "Keep your life on the right path. I can't look after you forever."

"I get up at a quarter after seven five fucking times a week for this shit," she rolled her eyes and shot back ... "Cut me some slack."

"The early bird gets the worm," Stacey reminded her.

"And the night owl shags all the early birds' husbands."

 

[rutherford366]

WIP:

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Guess who called me?”

“I don’t know. The Pope?”

“Why would you think the Pope called me?’

“Why would you think I wanted to guess?”

I do this sometimes, nobody likes guessing games.

 

[SyleusSnow]

From Back to Where It Almost Began:

"The first time you gave me a Valentine's card, it freaked me out. I was so worried you were getting mushy on me, and I'd have to disappoint you. But inside it said—"

"I can't believe I'm not sick of you yet," I said, grinning.

"And you had drawn the cutest little barfing flower. That's when I really knew we were friends."

"Think we should celebrate?" she said. "Everywhere will be booked, but we could go to Bernie's and share a plate of fries."

"Oh, so romantic. Naw. There's a good steak restaurant at the hotel."

"Eww. There is no such thing as a good steak restaurant. Okay, we'll compromise and go out for lobster… something we both hate."

"Bernie's it is," I said and squeezed her.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

“Did you cum?”

“I dunno. Did you?”