Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

If you're uncircumcised, you can hide Skittles in your foreskin as a snack for later

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have an unusual growth or mole on your butt, don’t go to the doctor for that reason, it’s too embarrassing. Instead go in for a prostate exam and if the doctor sees anything during the procedure they’ll be sure to say something.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you accidentally punch yourself too hard, write yourself a nice long apology letter. The act of writing the letter will distract you from the pain and receiving that heartfelt apology from yourself will make you feel better!

 

[stickygirl]

Drink to excess then, when you die and they harvest your kidneys for transplant, the next guy inherits the drink problem

 

[mnbreastluver]

Bringing a condom on a first date will make you look desperate for sex. Bring a candy bar instead. Your date will think it's cute and if things get more intimate you can use the wrapper as a prophylactic.

 

[stickygirl]

Women can't get pregnant on a first date because 'they have ways of shutting the whole thing down'

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of cleaning your house? Just start hoarding. Eventually a whole crew will come to clean it for you.

 

[Trubbycat]

Nothing gets a stuck piece of bread out of a toaster better than a fork.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Feeling shy at a social event? Offer piggyback rides! Everyone loves them! If you get no takers, ask for one yourself! If no one's interested, just leap onto their backs while yelling "piggyback!" for fair warning.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don't do your taxes, Wait for them to tell you how much you owe them. Be a man.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Put cast iron in the dishwasher to get is super clean!

 

[stickygirl]

If you overcooked the chicken, pop it in the freezer to remove the effect

 

[Shenanigans90]

Share your embarrassing personal experiences on social media to prevent others from making the same mistakes.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Thank people as rarely as possible. The less you thank people the more value your thanks get.

 

[NaughtyPartyGirl]

Give up toilet paper for a week to protest killing of trees.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Googling "best places to hide a house key" and checking the top results will give you a list of great places you should hide a house key!

 

[stickygirl]

Serving a plate of large sausage and two meatballs is a subtle way of telling your beau that you'd like to have sex with her and she'll be grateful for your discretion.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Quitting smoking adds 10 years to your life. Keep starting and stopping and you will live forever.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

To avoid putting your contact lenses in the wrong way, take a Sharpie and label them ‘L’ or ‘R’.

 

[HotBrand]

Want to overcome your fear of being embarrassed in public?

Try exposure therapy.

 

[LourdMorpheus]

Not sure one of the wires is electrified? Test it with the either or test:

Either lick it with your tongue or pee on it while touching a ground.

 

[LourdMorpheus]

My uncle sage told me there’s nothing more dangerous than a dull knife. Boy did I ever prove him wrong.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you go to sleep on a pack of Pop Tarts, your body heat will warm them up overnight. This will save you time on breakfast in the morning.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If someone offers you some dorritos, sneeze into the bag and they'll let you have them all

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If being chased by an animal lay on the ground for 5 seconds, the 5 seconds will prevent the animal from eating you