Bad Random Life Tips.

[dashie33]

Any hole's a goal. So you know what to do next time you hit a pothole in the road.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can’t fall asleep at night? Simply pinch your nose and you be unconscious in 3 minutes or less!

 

[frustratedthoughts]

If you use yellow snow in your snow ones, you get color and flavor for free.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Overdose on heroin so you don’t have to take the trash out tomorrow.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Use a shop vac to suck you off and you won’t have a mess to clean up after.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can't afford a delicious steak? Just add some steak and smoke flavoring extracts to toilet paper to make it taste the same.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Need to trim up down below before a hot date? A belt sander will do the trick, and in less than half the time too!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to smoke. but don't want Lung Cancer? Just remove your Lungs before you smoke!

 

[frustratedthoughts]

An extensive ear wax collection makes a great conversation piece on dates.

 

[philos]

“It will get better. Hang in there.” What a load

 

[mnbreastluver]

Houses too expensive these days? Just murder a bunch of people in their homes to lower the resale value!

 

[Polranny]

An extensive ear wax collection makes a great conversation piece on dates.

But only with toenail clippings

 

[frustratedthoughts]

But only with toenail clippings

You gotta save those for at least the second date!

 

[mnbreastluver]

To alleviate nasal congestion, rub your fingers in hot sauce or horseradish and pick your nose for a bit .

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Alleviate the coronavirus craze, by keeping your hands in your pants. No one will want to touch you then.

 

[Maureen01]

Always go home with the first guy who talks to you at a bar or club.

 

[stickygirl]

To avoid becoming an alcoholic, pour half the bottle of wine down the drain before your first glass

 

[mnbreastluver]

Jerking off to yourself is great for your self esteem.

 

[stickygirl]

Women secretly love dick pics, so send one and get laid

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get arrested and then use the mugshot to kickstart your modelling career.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Being attacked by a shark? Simply roll the beast onto its back, it will enter a state of hypnosis due to tonic immobility and you can go about your day!

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Tell your boss about the most sexually explicit fantasy you’ve had about them. They will be so flattered that they are sure to give you a raise

 

[mnbreastluver]

When going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, pee in the bathtub instead of the toilet. There's a larger target area so you can easily do it in the dark..........

 

[frustratedthoughts]

When meeting new people maintain constant eye contact to let them know that you are interested in what they are saying.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Jerking off to yourself is great for your self esteem.