Bad Random Life Tips.

[frustratedthoughts]

Didn’t get much sleep? Swap out your contact solution for coffee to alleviate your tired eye symptoms.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you know someone has a weird fetish, tell his employer all about it.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Unwind after a long day by using your Hitachi magic wand during a candle-lit bubble bath

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save tons of money on your electric light bill; poke out your eyes so you never have to turn your lights on again.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Ignore the expiration date on your milk, and after awhile, you will be able to cut it into slices making it much easier to pack in your kid's lunch.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can't get laid? Go down to your local supermarket and fuck a cake in front of everyone.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Can't get laid? Go down to your local supermarket and fuck a cake in front of everyone.

Live on the edge and try a butternut squash as round two.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Its no longer considered necrophilia if both of you are dead.

 

[Jada59]

Forgot to do laundry? No problem. Just grab some bandages or duct tape or whatever you have around and cover the naughty bits.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money on an abortion by having the mother-to-be wear a "Kick Me" sign on her belly.

 

[Mtnmike]

Forgot to do laundry? No problem. Just grab some bandages or duct tape or whatever you have around and cover the naughty bits.

Roflmao, that's funny Jada.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Condoms are expensive... just use balloons instead.

 

[mnbreastluver]

See a ambulance rapidly approaching you, block it’s path as they tend to speed and drive erratically.

 

[stickygirl]

Show interest in ex-military personnel by asking them why they didn't get promoted to the next level. They'll always have an interesting tale to tell and will be pleased you've been so thoughtful.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Replace your cat litter box with an Amazon one. When it’s full tape it up and put it on your front step for someone to steal.

 

[stickygirl]

Faced with a walk across a sodden field? Fill your shoes with tap water first to keep your socks clean

 

[kurrginatorX]

Short on cash? Place Grandma or Grandpa in a box. Just like Schrodinger's cat, they are simultaneously alive and dead, which means you can continue to collect their pension checks.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

The whole “wash your hands” campaign is nothing more than the Soap Industry pushing their own agenda for profits. Save your money, there’s no need to wash your hands. Besides, once they are dirty enough, germs won’t be able to stick to them.

 

[stickygirl]

Eating your own poo is a sensible way to maintain healthy levels of probiotic flora in your gut. If you admire someone else's health, ask to eat their's too

 

[Sh75]

Following stickygirls dietary habits

 

[kurrginatorX]

Heterosexual men are really male lesbians, so proclaim your status proudly.

 

[stickygirl]

Don't Walk means just that: either stand still or run. Don't be an asshole by breaking the law

 

[mnbreastluver]

If a cop pulls you over and says “papers” just say “scissors “ I win and just drive off.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Honey badgers make excellent pets. Adopt one or two of them today!

 

[stickygirl]

If literacy is a problem at your kids school, start a campaign to buy them more waste bins