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Bad oral sex experiences

Only had one really bad one. Only natural blonde with almost white hair I ever went out with.
Was going o go down on her, she was otherwise clean, but when she spread her legs when I was only an inch or two away I was hit with a stink that almost caused me to vomit.... She was embarrassed, i had to choke down the vomit, it's permanently burned into my memory. I'm sure she wasn't aware, and wasn't poor hygiene on her part, but something was very wrong down there
 
So, not a bad blowjob oral story but more of a funny one, kind if in a similar vein the the second story in the first post...

Was getting head from an ex (at the time, we were friends with benefits). She is a blowjob queen. Enthusiastic, just the right amount of that dirty look in here eyes, not gag reflex to speak of... anyway, enough reminiscing, back to to the story.

So, we were young enough we both still lived at home. Her parents were gone for awhile so she was giving me head in the living room. I tell her I'm about to cum, she goes to deepthroat me. I came a little quicker than she expected, my cock was up against the roof of her mouth when I started and she got the first rope right up into her sinuses. Like the trooper she is, she continued to deepthroat and took the rest. She comes up and goes, "gah, some went up my nose!" She tries to clear it out between coughing and blowing her nose, but can't get all of it.

Long story short, her parents come home. She sounds a little congested, reason being obvious. Her mom comments on how it seems like she's coming down with something. When her mom isn't looking, I mouth to her "or went down on something," she flips me off. Every time she blew her nose that night it was my cum that she was getting out. I felt bad for her, but afterward we both looked back and found it funny as hell.
 
smoothwiener said:
Only had one really bad one. Only natural blonde with almost white hair I ever went out with.
Was going o go down on her, she was otherwise clean, but when she spread her legs when I was only an inch or two away I was hit with a stink that almost caused me to vomit.... She was embarrassed, i had to choke down the vomit, it's permanently burned into my memory. I'm sure she wasn't aware, and wasn't poor hygiene on her part, but something was very wrong down there
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std in general and gonorrhea in particular is very bad smelling. did you know that.
 
When I was younger, I think early college, I remember getting a bad blow job where the girl insisted she was amazing and refused to discuss technique She just wanted to power through and get it done. And after like 10 minutes I was just like "Can we stop and just watch TV?"

But later there was a woman who also didn't know what she was doing but she wanted me to guide her and tell her how to do it. Oh. My. God. That was... amazing. I'm not sure if she was a legit fast learner or if it was that she did exactly what I told her to do or if it was just getting to say "yeah take me deeper" outloud but damn it was working.

The moral of the story is... listen to your partner. Take some direction. Make it a cooperative process.

Pretty sure this advice applies to licking pussy, too.

The more you know.....
 
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I was in the military, young, and very drunk.🙃. Picked up a busty lusty flower girl in a bar in Fla. Rented a cheap motel in Panama City. Things are getting hot and heavy and went down south…as others have stated, instantly knew something was amiss. Hung in like a good soldier. Should have made a tactical retreat.

About 3-4 days later started getting a nasty discharge😵‍💫🤮. Ended up in sick bay with a scipt for a strong antibiotic!.🤕

It was about this time I started questioning how bullet proof I was🤣
 
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I was hooking up with a girl I'd met and really hit it off with...it was our first seriously physical session, largely enabled by a night of club-hopping that led to an after-party at her place. We started making out in her bedroom and it was fantastic, she was one of those girls who had excellent kissing skills coupled with serious heat and passion. Clothes started coming off and her kisses worked their way down south. Based on her other oral skills, I was giddy at the prospect of a Grade-A blowjob and already looked forward to returning the favor on her beautifully trimmed pussy.

She started kissing and nibbling the head, using her hands to "mind the stepchildren" and then dove all the way to the base of my cock in one go....and that was the best it got. I've never had a girl (and I've been with blowjob virgins and prudes alike) who gnawed on my dick like it was a bone....she used so much teeth and was so aggressive, I was on the verge of tapping out. Then, (thankfully), All Stop.......she'd passed out with my cock in her mouth.

Like my fellow former brother-in-arms, HumpDayHoratio, I beat a tactical retreat and "forgot" her #. I still see her around town since we work in the same industry and she's shacked up with one of my old buddies....for his sake, I hope she responded positively to BlowJob Coaching!
 
I took this lady out to a Italian restaurant and we got hammered on wine. At the end of the night we wer3 fooling around and she went down on me. I don’t know if it was the wine and the movement. Id like to thing my penis was to much for her to take in. What ever the reason I know one thing, she should chew her food better. Sheet threw up spaghetti all over my crotch.
 
Have two tales, one giv8ng and one receiving. Both with the same FWB.

Giving oral, we were both a little tipsy and just playing around. She said the room.was spinning touch for her to want a lot, so I told her to lay back and relax. She is on the bed, and I am kneeling on the floor with my face against her when she jerks up to ask for a trash can. She wound up vomiting just over my shoulder.

Receiving I believed occurred first. We were camping in the cold, and I always heard to warm up fastest to sleep naked. I was cozy when I woke up in the morning and offered to let her warm up in my sleeping bag. We began to 69, and as I came she found out the jalapeño muffins we had eaten the night before gave a little more spice than usual.
 
Another time I was going down on my wife and I must of done something right, she bucked and her pelvic bone hit me in the nose. I kinda stoped for a second and she said “no no don’t stop” so I went back to work. I got this real funny taste kinda like iron. And I stoped she looked at me and said omg I’m so sorry, I don’t understand I ended my period over a week ago. Turns Out it was her it was me, she had given me a bloody nose When she hit me.
 
lil_jenni said:
(Edited because I hit post too soon... :rolleyes: )

So, I replied to a thread today about what the last load I swallowed tasted like. And that got me thinking about the most disgusting load of cum I ever took in my mouth. It was one of the few times I've ever spit, and that was really a kind of instinctual response, I think. My other experiences with funky cum has been it's better to swallow than to spit, because you get it all gone faster. But it was so gross... thick and gooey, almost chunky, and tasted like rotten eggs smell combined with an overwhelming sourness.. ugh... vile. And before I know what I was doing, I turned away and spit over and over to try to get that taste out.

But, believe it or not, that was not my worst BJ. That's a story I've told before. I went down on this guy with really long pubic hair. It tickled my nose the entire time, and I didn't even take him deep. When he came, he shoved my head down and some hair went straight up my nose. I pulled away with a load of cum in my mouth just in time to sneeze. It went out my nose and all over him. I was fucking embarrassed. And my nose burned for hours.

I have other bad BJ stories, and I may tell them if this thread takes off. But for now, I'm interested in your bad oral sex stories. So, time to share... :D
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OMG! Thats great. I prefer going down on men who are shaved or trimmed. But sometimes my FWB does know we will get time together. When I go down, make a point of using my hands to play and rub his balls, base of his cock and where his cock meets his abs. I make a triangle of my hands as part of a teasing massage of the sensitive area.

What I am really doing is ensuring his unruly pubes are tucked under my flattened hands and nowhere near my mouth or nose.

It works for my needs and it doesn't give the impression i dont want to see him because he didn't trim up.
 
Worst time for me was going down on my ex and she yells at me with real annoyance "get up here and fuck me, so I can get to bed!". I should have just got up and left.
 
lil_jenni said:
(Edited because I hit post too soon... :rolleyes: )

So, I replied to a thread today about what the last load I swallowed tasted like. And that got me thinking about the most disgusting load of cum I ever took in my mouth. It was one of the few times I've ever spit, and that was really a kind of instinctual response, I think. My other experiences with funky cum has been it's better to swallow than to spit, because you get it all gone faster. But it was so gross... thick and gooey, almost chunky, and tasted like rotten eggs smell combined with an overwhelming sourness.. ugh... vile. And before I know what I was doing, I turned away and spit over and over to try to get that taste out.

But, believe it or not, that was not my worst BJ. That's a story I've told before. I went down on this guy with really long pubic hair. It tickled my nose the entire time, and I didn't even take him deep. When he came, he shoved my head down and some hair went straight up my nose. I pulled away with a load of cum in my mouth just in time to sneeze. It went out my nose and all over him. I was fucking embarrassed. And my nose burned for hours.

I have other bad BJ stories, and I may tell them if this thread takes off. But for now, I'm interested in your bad oral sex stories. So, time to share... :D
Click to expand...
This is the most amazing thing I’ve read ALL DAY.

My ex liked to choke me while he fucked my mouth. Once he started to climax, he wouldn’t let me breathe until he came. Once time I passed out and woke up with his load in my mouth. We started divorce proceeding not long after.
 
EStaccato said:
This is the most amazing thing I’ve read ALL DAY.

My ex liked to choke me while he fucked my mouth. Once he started to climax, he wouldn’t let me breathe until he came. Once time I passed out and woke up with his load in my mouth. We started divorce proceeding not long after.
Click to expand...
Um, ya, what a piece of shit. Sorry.
 
There's been a couple times where it became obvious the girl wasn't really into the BJ, which deflates me faster than a popped balloon and I quickly stopped that activity.
 
My wife gives the worst. Shes not into it. So it makes for a very bad experience. Id just assume let a guy give me a bj. Their 10 times better at it anyway
 
I’m sorry
EStaccato said:
This is the most amazing thing I’ve read ALL DAY.

My ex liked to choke me while he fucked my mouth. Once he started to climax, he wouldn’t let me breathe until he came. Once time I passed out and woke up with his load in my mouth. We started divorce proceeding not long after.
Click to expand...
this happened to you.😞
 
Bisexguy70 said:
My wife gives the worst. Shes not into it. So it makes for a very bad experience. Id just assume let a guy give me a bj. Their 10 times better at it anyway
Click to expand...
I know the feeling, about the wife, mine was so bad I couldn't get an erection so I just made her quit giving em over 25 year's ago.
 
Its wild how guys just know how. I think it is all about loving it. I enjoy making a guy moan. I understand where to stimulate, i pretty much do what i want done to me. Also What i want to hear. What man doesnt like hearing a person say their cocks are delicious. Or big. Hear how hard it is and that it feels good in my mouth. Usually all true too.
 
About three years out of high school I ran into a girl that I was always trying to get with in school. Honey brown hair, slim, really pretty. The only problem was when she came, instead of her cum being clear or nearly clear, it was white and had a terribly tart taste to it. During straight sex it wasn't very lubricating, tho there was plenty of it. She said she had always been that way, as had her sister and mother. Damn shame, she was a knockout.
 
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