CyranoJ
Ustuzou
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2015
- Posts
- 2,782
"It's lethal to bats... but deadly to humans." - Morbius, from Morbius
(Someone didn't get the message that lethal and deadly mean the same thing.)
"Future events such as these will affect you... in the future." - Narrator, from Plan 9 From Outer Space
(This is ironically appreciated by the latter-day B-movie nerd... but it takes on a melancholy cast when you realize that this was Ed Wood genuinely trying to create good dialogue.)
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" - Anakin Skywalker, from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
(It's a pretty badass lightsaber duel, but this was serious cringe. Could do a whole post just with dialogue from the prequel films, really, but this particularly stands out for dropping with a clang in the midst of one of the better sequences.)
"Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?" - Agent Sands, Once Upon a Time in Mexico
(What makes it worse is that he's speaking to Danny Trejo, whose character is written to respond to this like it's a serious question and says: "I'm a Mexican." No joke.)
"If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole!" - Princess Tilde, Kingsman: The Secret Service
(Yeah, I get they were trying to make fun of the "James Bond gets rewarded with sexytimes" trope in every 007 movie. It does not land for me. One of the most jarringly stupid lines I can remember from any context.)
"Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you... you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man." - Johnny Murata, Showdown in Little Tokyo
(This is spoken by a buddy cop to his partner in a B-grade Dolph Lundgren actioner. No, they're not gay, and there is no indication that they've ever been naked in one another's vicinity, so this really comes out of the blue.)
"I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!" - Mason Storm in Hard to Kill
(A true anti-classic of Steven Seagal mumbling. I'm so glad we're past the time of even pretending to take that fucking guy seriously.)
(Someone didn't get the message that lethal and deadly mean the same thing.)
"Future events such as these will affect you... in the future." - Narrator, from Plan 9 From Outer Space
(This is ironically appreciated by the latter-day B-movie nerd... but it takes on a melancholy cast when you realize that this was Ed Wood genuinely trying to create good dialogue.)
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" - Anakin Skywalker, from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
(It's a pretty badass lightsaber duel, but this was serious cringe. Could do a whole post just with dialogue from the prequel films, really, but this particularly stands out for dropping with a clang in the midst of one of the better sequences.)
"Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?" - Agent Sands, Once Upon a Time in Mexico
(What makes it worse is that he's speaking to Danny Trejo, whose character is written to respond to this like it's a serious question and says: "I'm a Mexican." No joke.)
"If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole!" - Princess Tilde, Kingsman: The Secret Service
(Yeah, I get they were trying to make fun of the "James Bond gets rewarded with sexytimes" trope in every 007 movie. It does not land for me. One of the most jarringly stupid lines I can remember from any context.)
"Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you... you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man." - Johnny Murata, Showdown in Little Tokyo
(This is spoken by a buddy cop to his partner in a B-grade Dolph Lundgren actioner. No, they're not gay, and there is no indication that they've ever been naked in one another's vicinity, so this really comes out of the blue.)
"I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!" - Mason Storm in Hard to Kill
(A true anti-classic of Steven Seagal mumbling. I'm so glad we're past the time of even pretending to take that fucking guy seriously.)