Bad dialogue.

[Emilymcplugger]

So I was watching the new Netflix series The Night Agent and the main female character came out with this absolute doozy of bad dialogue.

MFC: there’s a right turn about two miles down the road.

Which made me think.

WELL TELL ME NEARER THE F#*KING TIME, THEN.

Is there any pieces of bad dialogue in TV or film, that’s made you burst out with a response that made (at least yourself) laugh out loud?

 

[djrip]

Is it this one?

No.

This one?

Not yet.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Is it this one?

No.

This one?

Not yet.

What’s that from?

 

[djrip]

What’s that from?

How I imagine the rest of the drive went!

 

[Djmac1031]

I'm not trying to imply this is somehow a "Woman Thing," only saying it exists.

My girlfriend is TERRIBLE at giving directions on the road, and pulls stuff like that on me all the time lol.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My husband and I have a little thing we do. Every time a character says "Let's go," we shout it back at them.

Unbelievable how many times we do it.

 

[alohadave]

So I was watching the new Netflix series The Night Agent and the main female character came out with this absolute doozy of bad dialogue.

MFC: there’s a right turn about two miles down the road.

Which made me think.

WELL TELL ME NEARER THE F#*KING TIME, THEN.

Is there any pieces of bad dialogue in TV or film, that’s made you burst out with a response that made (at least yourself) laugh out loud?

Sounds like my GPS. Next turn two miles. 500 feet away, turn now.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

How I imagine the rest of the drive went!

I tell you, I just thought WTF, man. Completely took me out of the moment.

Even an additional “I’ll let you know when” would have covered it, but no.

 

[Lifestyle66]

MFC: there’s a right turn about two miles down the road.

Which made me think.

WELL TELL ME NEARER THE F#*KING TIME, THEN.

My wife does that quite often. When she insists on giving me directions, she'll often tell me that which the GPS says anyway.

The GPS will say "merge onto this road for two miles." Then my wife will say "You have to go two miles on this road before you turn."

I've begun replying with "Thanks, Tawny." (A reference to Tawny Madison on Galaxy Quest, whose sole job in the series was to repeat what the computer says. "It's a stupid job, but I'm going to do it!")

 

[Seadog777]

So I was watching the new Netflix series The Night Agent and the main female character came out with this absolute doozy of bad dialogue.

MFC: there’s a right turn about two miles down the road.

Which made me think.

WELL TELL ME NEARER THE F#*KING TIME, THEN.

Is there any pieces of bad dialogue in TV or film, that’s made you burst out with a response that made (at least yourself) laugh out loud?

I don't understand why you think it's bad dialogue???

 

[Djmac1031]

I've begun replying with "Thanks, Tawny." (A reference to Tawny Madison on Galaxy Quest, whose sole job in the series was to repeat what the computer says.)

"Look, I've got one job on this lousy ship! It's STUPID, but I'm gonna do it! Okay???"

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I don't understand why you think it's bad dialogue???

It doesn’t reveal character

It didn’t move the plot forward.

 

[Seadog777]

It doesn’t reveal character

It didn’t move the plot forward.

Not all dialogue needs to "reveal character" or "move the plot forward".
Sometimes talking is just talking.

 

[Djmac1031]

It doesn’t reveal character

It didn’t move the plot forward.

Maybe it reveals she's bad at giving directions

And it does move the plot forward. Two miles.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Not all dialogue needs to "reveal character" or "move the plot forward".
Sometimes talking is just talking.

In entertainment it should always either move the plot forward or show dialogue.

I like trains.

If not why have it in there. Removing that would not have made any difference to the scene, and better wording could have moved to plot or shown character.

As my example shows, when you have superfluous dialogue it sticks out like a swollen nose and takes you out of the moment.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Maybe it reveals she's bad at giving directions

And it does move the plot forward. Two miles.

I’ll tell you what, if I’m tonight’s episode it’s revealed she’s bad at directions I’ll take it ALL back, otherwise this goes on the “Somehow Palpatine has returned” pile.

 

[Seadog777]

In entertainment it should always either move the plot forward or show dialogue.

I like trains.

If not why have it in there. Removing that would not have made any difference to the scene, and better wording could have moved to plot or shown character.

As my example shows, when you have superfluous dialogue it sticks out like a swollen nose and takes you out of the moment.

A lot of conversations in life are "superfluous".
Just shows that the character is more human and relatable.

Of course, these are just our opinions.
I like hearing POVs that are different from my own.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

A lot of conversations in life are "superfluous".
Just shows that the character is more human and relatable.

Of course, these are just our opinions.
I like hearing POVs that are different from my own.

I think with what we do here we can have seemingly superfluous dialogue because we can then reveal someone’s innermost thoughts and feelings that may be conveyed by someone replying “I’m good, you”. It may be an innocuous comment but the following writing may spell out that they’re prettying far from fine, but in film these must be conveyed by dialogue or performance.

Film and TV shouldn’t necessarily be real life, but be a reflection or approximation of it. But we can always have differences of opinion, I’m never trying to start an argument.

 

[MrPixel]

Versus what my wife does to me? As we're going through the intersection? "Oh. I think you needed to turn here."

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Versus what my wife does to me? As we're going through the intersection? "Oh. I think you needed to turn here."

Well.

That’s very bad dialogue and even worse directions

 

[Lifestyle66]

Versus what my wife does to me? As we're going through the intersection? "Oh. I think you needed to turn here."

My first wife did that to me soon after we were married. (I should have seen the writing on the wall then.)

I was driving her to an appointment in her hometown to a doctor's office (my first visit to that area.) As I was driving down the four-lane road, not a divided highway, merely looking for the left turn into the small office park, she said "The turn is coming up. ... iiiittttt'ssss ... rrriiiggghhhttt ... THERE!" as she flung her hand in front of my face pointing directly to my left.

 

[HeyAll]

I'm a huge fan of the director, the "clean slate" dialogue in the Dark Knight Rises always stuck out as horrendous dialogue. I remember there was even an article written about how bad that scene was, i tried looking a little but couldn't find it.

Catwoman: Where is it?

Daggett: The clean slate? The device which can [proceeds to explain in detail what the device does]



Other examples include when characters who are friends say things to each other that's so obvious to them, but it's meant to explain things to the viewer.

Like, "Oh come on, you're an award winning journalist..."

 

[SimonDoom]

A lot of conversations in life are "superfluous".
Just shows that the character is more human and relatable.

Of course, these are just our opinions.
I like hearing POVs that are different from my own.

But dialogue in a story, or especially, in a movie script, isn't supposed to be like a real life conversation. It should be real-life enough to be plausible, but I agree with Emily that every word should be crafted and included for the purpose of advancing the plot or revealing character.

We had a conversation about this in another thread not long ago, but Quentin Tarantino is an example of someone whose movies sometimes have very long conversations that seemingly have little to do with the story, but when you look closely at them they foreshadow things to come, or reveal character or relationships, or play on themes of the story.

I think if you actually watched a movie that showed people talking the way people really talk, you'd be bored. You just can't fit a story into 2 hours if people talk like that. It's not much different in a written story.

I can think of two great examples of hilariously bad dialogue. One is the infamous movie Tommy Wiseau's film The Room, which came out 20 years ago. It's full of dialogue that has no obvious point to the story and in which the characters seem to be talking past each other. Another is the unbelievably bad horror movie Birdemic:Shock and Terror, a 2010 movie about birds suddenly attacking and killing people. In this movie the birds don't start attacking until about half way through, and until that time we are treated to over 45 minutes of the most inane, pointless, meandering dialogue I've ever seen in a movie. Both these movies offer cartoon versions of the problems Emily is talking about.

 

[Seadog777]

I think with what we do here we can have seemingly superfluous dialogue because we can then reveal someone’s innermost thoughts and feelings that may be conveyed by someone replying “I’m good, you”. It may be an innocuous comment but the following writing may spell out that they’re prettying far from fine, but in film these must be conveyed by dialogue or performance.

Film and TV shouldn’t necessarily be real life, but be a reflection or approximation of it. But we can always have differences of opinion, I’m never trying to start an argument.

Entertainment of any sort, should been relatable to the audience.
It's what keeps them coming back.
Yes, there is creative licensing and suspension of disbelief, but if it's too bad they lose the viewers or readers.

I understand what you mean.

 

[alohadave]

I think if you actually watched a movie that showed people talking the way people really talk, you'd be bored. You just can't fit a story into 2 hours if people talk like that. It's not much different in a written story.

I've done editing for presentations, and it's tortuous. Pauses, uhms, ahhs, misspoken words, repeats, all that stuff is rightfully left out of dialogue. Most people are not good speakers, and we, mostly, self edit the awkwardness out of what we hear.

I had a college instructor for American Lit, and while he was a good teacher, I remember him for his painful, constant use of 'uhmm' throughout his speech.