Ask a Dom

[catalina_francisco]

I have been told I am scary also. I think F is adorable.

Eb

LOL, that's only because you laugh so well together when you play with rope.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL, that's only because you laugh so well together when you play with rope.

Catalina

It was that weekend that made me play more with rope. Since that time, I find I love ropes almost as much as I love my strap ons.

Eb

 

[kayte]

Had a great time when with my Sir last week and He was using ropes. We have since been talking about getting a "tad" more....

 

[Ebonyfire]

Had a great time when with my Sir last week and He was using ropes. We have since been talking about getting a "tad" more....

rope is so affordable, and you can make all kinds of rope underwear for a male or female, and go out knowing you have made the outing "memorable".

Eb

 

[kayte]

rope is so affordable, and you can make all kinds of rope underwear for a male or female, and go out knowing you have made the outing "memorable".

Eb

Ahh yes! Remembering....

That is one of the many things that can be done with rope.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Ahh yes! Remembering....

That is one of the many things that can be done with rope.

I use rope to make rope briefs for my boys. It can hold in a buttplug and serve as cbt. It is really great to see him squirm over dinner.

Eb

 

[kayte]

I use rope to make rope briefs for my boys. It can hold in a buttplug and serve as cbt. It is really great to see him squirm over dinner.

Eb

Wondering if He is going to notice Your post here and if it will generate all kinds of "new" ideas?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Wondering if He is going to notice Your post here and if it will generate all kinds of "new" ideas?

he never reads Literotica, and I do not make him. he does have ideas, most of which I like a lot. he never knows when or where I will use them though.

Eb

 

[kayte]

he never reads Literotica, and I do not make him. he does have ideas, most of which I like a lot. he never knows when or where I will use them though.

Eb

My Sir visits here at times, even has mentioned some of my posts to me. That is ok as there is "no harm no foul" done by any post be me. It is an entertainment.

But like I said, He may get more ideas by reading Yours.

 

[Ebonyfire]

My Sir visits here at times, even has mentioned some of my posts to me. That is ok as there is "no harm no foul" done by any post be me. It is an entertainment.

But like I said, He may get more ideas by reading Yours.

Glad to help. LOL

Eb

 

[kayte]

Glad to help. LOL

Eb

Hmmm, as I cringe a bit thinking of the two of you "planning".

 

[catalina_francisco]

It was that weekend that made me play more with rope. Since that time, I find I love ropes almost as much as I love my strap ons.

Eb

LOL, certainly was fun, though I am not sure if you had brought along the strap ons that there would have been as many willing guinea pigs as with rope!!

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL, certainly was fun, though I am not sure if you had brought along the strap ons that there would have been as many willing guinea pigs as with rope!!

Catalina

I figured I didn't need them.

 

[SpectreT]

With strapons in evidence...

There probably would've been twice as many volunteers.

 

[FurryFury]

There probably would've been twice as many volunteers.

LOL!!!

That's what I was thinking too!

Fury

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, speaking for myself, no way, though perhaps a few of us might have been willing to try it from the other end.....but who would have been our bitch!! Good memories, even down to the food.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL, speaking for myself, no way, though perhaps a few of us might have been willing to try it from the other end.....but who would have been our bitch!! Good memories, even down to the food.

Catalina

That is a good question!

 

[inkydink]

I haven't read all the way through this thread, so maybe it does get covered but I was looking for more of the torture/play ideas, like the listerine pocket packs and the ginger--which by the way, I have used the ground up ginger--if you sprinkle it on the pussy it's slow to start but gets pleasantly hot. I've never tried the fresh ginger so I'm on my way to the store for that one. Any other things like this?

 

[LadyAria]

Lady et all~
Ok big breath and Im gonna ask this one. What are some of the ways you deal with or move past abuse issues and merge that with BDSM lifestyle? I have limits on somethings I just WONT do related to specifics. There are times that the humiliation aspect has "creeped me" a bit. Before its asked....yes have been to counselor and speak up when I need to deal with an immediate issue. Just wondered how some others may cope with specifics. Like getting triggered in the middle of play. Another big breath. Whew...THAT was harder to ask but woooppeee!!! I did it. Hope some can chime in. Thanks.

Behavior can trigger powerful and painful memories, emotions and reactions. If you don't tell your partner ahead of time, both of you could be hurt in the process. Be honest upfront about your limitations and why. People in BDSM, for the most part, generally are more open to such personally difficult discussions. We tend to have fewer inhibitions and less judgemental nature for normally undiscussed experiences.

As a submissive, you should be encouraged to delve deep into your own psyche and share with your Dom as a part of your training, this kind of inner reflection and communication helps in openly talking about the past and can help in the healing process.

Below is a website for abuse survivors in alternative lifestyles. It has some good articles and books on the subject that would be far more enlighting then any post I could probably create. Also, there are pyschologists and therapists in the lifestyle that will offer counseling if you feel you need to address this issue professional. Your local community group generally have a list of lifestyle sensitive professionals.

Wings of Fire

{{{adventurous 1}}}

Sorry you were once hurt. But, what someone else did you should never deter you from enjoying what belongs to you, your life and your body. Abuse survivors have every right and place in the lifestyle.

 

[carverII]

As a submissive, you should be encouraged to delve deep into your own psyche and share with your Dom as a part of your training, this kind of inner reflection and communication helps in openly talking about past and can help in the healing process.

I'd like to add something to this.

A lot of my submissive side comes from my past and some of the more traumatic events that took place then. I use my passive side as a form a therapy. This is all based upon the fact that I completely trust my partner. I know that there is nothing that she would do past or beyond my true comfort level. It is true that she will, from time to time, push those boundaries, but she also knows that there is only so far that I can be pushed. Anytime that the limits are pushed a bit too far, she brings me back and assures me everything is okay. Then we can look at what made me so uncomfortable and find a way to let it go. It's amazing how little effort it has actually taken to heal some of the mental scarring from a rather abusive childhood.

 

[kayte]

Good afternoon {{{{{{{Lady Aria}}}}}}}}} and {{{{{{{{{{{{Carver}}}}}}}}

You two provide such marvelous responses to the questions that appear here. Thank you for the time and sharing you provide.

 

[adventurous_1]

Behavior can trigger powerful and painful memories, emotions and reactions. If you don't tell your partner ahead of time, both of you could be hurt in the process. Be honest upfront about your limitations and why. People in BDSM, for the most part, generally are more open to such personally difficult discussions. We tend to have fewer inhibitions and less judgemental nature for normally undiscussed experiences.

As a submissive, you should be encouraged to delve deep into your own psyche and share with your Dom as a part of your training, this kind of inner reflection and communication helps in openly talking about the past and can help in the healing process.

Below is a website for abuse survivors in alternative lifestyles. It has some good articles and books on the subject that would be far more enlighting then any post I could probably create. Also, there are pyschologists and therapists in the lifestyle that will offer counseling if you feel you need to address this issue professional. Your local community group generally have a list of lifestyle sensitive professionals.

Wings of Fire

{{{adventurous 1}}}

Sorry you were once hurt. But, what someone else did you should never deter you from enjoying what belongs to you, your life and your body. Abuse survivors have every right and place in the lifestyle.
__________________
Thanks so much for your suggestions...and comfort as well. I have found that at times a few games we play on here can throw me for a loop. I also know that certain role plays just ARE NOT ok with me. Good to know that it's ok to bring that up. And also to know that if a significant other and/or Dom doesnt respect that...then that person and I wont be around each other much. Thanks again. Good to know its not a first heard of deal.

 

[LadyAria]

Good afternoon {{{{{{{Lady Aria}}}}}}}}} and {{{{{{{{{{{{Carver}}}}}}}}

You two provide such marvelous responses to the questions that appear here. Thank you for the time and sharing you provide.

{{{{Kayte}}}}

Glad to her you got some live time with your good Sir.

 

[kayte]

{{{{Kayte}}}}

Glad to her you got some live time with your good Sir.

Good afternoon {{{{Lady Aria}}}}}

Thank you Ma'am. He and I are already talking about next time. He is making all kinds of plans.

Hope your weekend was a good one and that you are having a wonderful week.

 

[LadyAria]

Forgive a newbie for butting in but I just remembered having seen The Cell a while back. Doesn't the serial killer guy suspend his victims using hooks in their backs...? And doesn't he also bleach them? Or did I hallucinate that bit? Been a long time since I saw the movie...

DVS, I also saw a similiar thing to what you're describing...may have been the very same. I think it was on Ripley's. They were making a sort of human mobile of suspended people. And weren't they purely suspended by their skin, too? Or mostly, if not completely. *shudders* braver people than me! I personally have a bit of a mental block about anything that pierces the skin.

LadyAria, I've been lurking around this board for a while before joining, and this was a thread I kept coming back to. Your contributions are so informative and exude the kind of common sense that is vital to safe, enjoyable play. I just wanted to tell you what a great thread this is

And while I'm here I might as well ask a question. On one of the checklist-type documents that lurk in various places on the net, I saw an item listed that confused me. The item was 'injections'. Now, this isn't something I'm ever likely to participate in (like I said, phobia of needles and sharp things) however I did wonder how it worked from a health and safety POV. Chiefly I wondered what one would actually inject during such a scenario...? Or is this type of play only possible with people who are, EG diabetic and require injections anyway?

I don't think I answered this. It generally means saline injections since I believe needle play (piercing, insertions, etc.) is listed separate. I don't know any diabetics who inject as a part of scene, but I'm not omniscient either. Anything like this takes care and lots of disinfecting. Medical play should always be done with sterile equipment.