Ask a Dom

[Shagly]

I have that effect on people.

Why you naughty girl, now go in the dungeon, your getting a flogging.

 

[LadyAria]

Yes Lady.

I've sent you a pm.

Come see if I am worthy.

I hardly ever log into yahoo because of all the strangers looking for the cyber Domme action. I'm way to self-centered to put that much effort into anyone I don't know. Your sweet, but I've already got a box full of candy

 

[LadyAria]

Anyone heard from Thorkel lately? I miss him.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

I hardly ever log into yahoo because of all the strangers looking for the cyber Domme action. I'm way to self-centered to put that much effort into anyone I don't know. Your sweet, but I've already got a box full of candy

Who's candy? Full meal here.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I hardly ever log into yahoo because of all the strangers looking for the cyber Domme action. I'm way to self-centered to put that much effort into anyone I don't know. Your sweet, but I've already got a box full of candy

I really have taken care of yahoo. I am invisible all the time, and I never have to worry. If someone contacts me and I do not know their handle, I just ignore them and do not allow them to add me. I also do not give out my login name unless it is someone I want to contact me. It really has cut down the wankers.

Eb

 

[mickyp123]

I really have taken care of yahoo. I am invisible all the time, and I never have to worry. If someone contacts me and I do not know their handle, I just ignore them and do not allow them to add me. I also do not give out my login name unless it is someone I want to contact me. It really has cut down the wankers.

Eb

nooooo they will still be wanking lol

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Anyone heard from Thorkel lately? I miss him.

I was wondering about him yesterday as well. Didn't he have a Lit Sojourn before and return. Hope thats the case again.

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

Busy

Originally Posted by LadyAria
Anyone heard from Thorkel lately? I miss him.

I was wondering about him yesterday as well. Didn't he have a Lit Sojourn before and return. Hope thats the case again.

It's nice to be missed. Been busy as hell. I promise I won't run off. Too many nice and interesting people here.

 

[Ebonyfire]

nooooo they will still be wanking lol

Oh I am sure about that. They just will wank with someone who gives a shit. I don't. LOL

 

[LadyAria]

Originally Posted by LadyAria
Anyone heard from Thorkel lately? I miss him.




It's nice to be missed. Been busy as hell. I promise I won't run off. Too many nice and interesting people here.

Good to see you back

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

Lady,
Did you enjoy your weekend?

 

[LadyAria]

Lady,
Did you enjoy your weekend?

Always.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

If I'm good, will you tell me about it?

 

[INeedLove]

I have a question...

if one partner were mostly sub and the other switch but leaning towards sub, should they both seek a Dom/me together??

 

[LadyAria]

I have a question...

if one partner were mostly sub and the other switch but leaning towards sub, should they both seek a Dom/me together??

If you both enjoy being a sub and want to grow together in the experience, then I say give it a try. I would make sure you and your partner are very emotionally secure in the relationship. One of the reasons I mentioned the rent-a-Dom for the first time earlier is that when paying for the experience, one tends not to experience the same levels of personal threat or jealousy.

If you enjoy it and everyone is comfortable, the two of you could then seek a more permanent third without financial incentive.

Good luck to you and yours.

 

[adventurous_1]

a bump for the Lady that has helped me much...hi all

 

[DVS]

a bump for the Lady that has helped me much...hi all

You're just bumping all over the place, tonight, aren't you. Well, nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can be a lot of fun, if the bump is done with the proper thrust and the contact is in a specific spot. If you know what I mean. LOL.

And then there's grinding. But, I digress.

 

[adventurous_1]

You're just bumping all over the place, tonight, aren't you. Well, nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can be a lot of fun, if the bump is done with the proper thrust and the contact is in a specific spot. If you know what I mean. LOL.

And then there's grinding. But, I digress.

I only wish I were closer to YOU and doing the bumping and grinding DVS. You so have a way of making my hips want to move in the lewdest of ways

 

[FemdomRule]

What do you think of financial domination, niteflirt, and distance domination?

 

[leeroy jenkins]

This post deserves a bump and I have some questions I need some answers on too.

So a few weeks ago I was playing with a new playmate and it was a violent wand scene. But something weird happened during it that I didn't notice until I think two days after. She used the wand on my scrotum and then while doing some self pleasure I felt a hard spot on my scrotum that wasn't there before. Today it's not there anymore so my question is what happened and why??

Next question is that this one person wants to literally nail my scrotum to a piece of wood. Not sure I would do this just because I am concerned about doing some long lasting damage to it. Anyone know the likilyhood of this happening should I consent to trying??

Last question, the only anal play I have tried is figging but today I am going to get a butt plug. Is there a time limit that you should have it in place or can you wear it for hours without any adverse side effects?

 

[DVS]

So a few weeks ago I was playing with a new playmate and it was a violent wand scene. But something weird happened during it that I didn't notice until I think two days after. She used the wand on my scrotum and then while doing some self pleasure I felt a hard spot on my scrotum that wasn't there before. Today it's not there anymore so my question is what happened and why??

A violet wand is electricity. Although it is static electricity (the safest form of it), it is still electricity. If you play with such things, you need to understand how electricity works.

First, you can brand someone, with a violet wand. The intensity set high and a dental pick to give you a pin point area for the current to flow, and it's very possible. Oh, and yes, it hurts. I don't advise it, but it's been done.

I like to use mine at low settings, because I find I can get the result I want with how I use it and where it's used. High settings are OK, but there are some "user rules" to keep in mind.

In the case of a wand, if it is pulled across a body in a continuous motion, you get a certain affect. It is going to give you shocks over the span of this movment, shocking the body a certain amount, as it moves.

If it is held motionless over a part of the body, to stimulate one part of the body, the current is localized on that part of the body. In that way, the current only stimulates one area of the skin and other tissue and it can actually cause a burn, or some other form of alteration of the tissue.

Think of a light bulb being pulled over your body. We all know a light bulb is hot to the touch, when turned on. But, if you were to move that bulb over your arm or leg, not letting the bulb rest on the skin at any point, you won't feel more than a little warm feeling as it moves. But, if you were to stop that bulb and let it rest on your skin, it would quickly burn you.

A wand is kind of like that. As long as you keep it moving over an area, you don't allow the current to build up enough on a small spot and produce enough electrical heat to burn that tissue. You don't have to move it a lot, but if you stop for too long in one spot, you can damage tissue.

Now, this all depends on how high the intensity setting is on the wand and what part of the body you are holding it motionless on. Any part of the body that has more sensitive skin or tissue, and those areas where moisture is present (electricity loves moisture) will be more susseptable for damage sooner. Areas where moisture is present will be more likely to cause a little water blister, instead of a burn.

The tougher parts of your body such as your arm, fingers, legs and toes are less likely to be a problem. But, clit, pussy, anus, penis, scrotum, etc. would be areas where this might happen sooner.

What you probably felt was a small water blister or something like that, and those will happen with heavy use, when everything is right for it to happen. But, like you said it went a way, they will. Personally, I'd suggest you ask your partner to not hold the wand motionless over sensitive parts of the body for too long. I can't say that's what happened, but it can. And, if you just keep the wand moving in little circles, you shouldn't have that much of a problem.

And, I'm not saying you can't hold it motionless over a body part...just know there is a limited amount of time for this, relative to how high you have the wand set and the type of tissue it's on. It's a give and take kind of thing.

Next question is that this one person wants to literally nail my scrotum to a piece of wood. Not sure I would do this just because I am concerned about doing some long lasting damage to it. Anyone know the likilyhood of this happening should I consent to trying??

I don't know much about this, but if it were me, I'd say no thanks. But, I'n not into mutilation, and although it's your scrotum and your choice, it just doesn't seem like fun. If I were you, I'd see if some medical peopl;e respond to this question, to see if it can do damage. After all, we are talking about nail holes in your scrotum sack. OUCH. If nothing else, I'd make sure everything is very sanitary. An infection there wouldn'lt be fun.

Last question, the only anal play I have tried is figging but today I am going to get a butt plug. Is there a time limit that you should have it in place or can you wear it for hours without any adverse side effects?[/B]

Unless you use a large butt plug, that really stretches your ass, I'd think you can keep it in as long as it feels comfortable. As long as it doesn't hurt, I'd think it is OK. But, keep in mind, if you get a large one, it can actually tear your anal tissue and that tear can become infected very easily. And, an infection back there doesn't heal very fast. And although it might seem difficult to insert a butt plug, it's more difficult to get one out. So, don't go too big before you know you can get it out again.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Thanks for the replies DVS. On the violent wand it was the first long session of playing. I did ask her later that night she said she had the wand like half way. Yes I think she did hold it on my scrotum so maybe will ask her not to keep it motionless on that area. She says that electricity is her thing so I would hope how she plays with it wouldn't cause the issue I described.

On the second, I am not real likely to try this but I have someone that wants to do it to me. Personally I think sounds would happen first before this, and I said I never wanted to do sound.

 

[wynnie]

questions

I am new to Lit. As I came accross the subject of dom/sub (yes i have heard of them before and understand to a degree what they are) I found myself becoming more interested. My question would be how do you know if you are a dom or a sub? I personally find both situations exciting. In my life I am the more aggressive on in bed with my husband. Does that mean i would be the dominate one? How would i get him to become more dominate? I tried telling him what i wanted... but i found that was a little hard because i wasn't really sure what it was that i wanted. He did try ... but i felt he wasn't sure what i was asking. (sorry rambling) Anyways, any advice on this or where I can find out the answers would be welcome.

Thanks again.

 

[Betticus]

I am new to Lit. As I came accross the subject of dom/sub (yes i have heard of them before and understand to a degree what they are) I found myself becoming more interested. My question would be how do you know if you are a dom or a sub? I personally find both situations exciting. In my life I am the more aggressive on in bed with my husband. Does that mean i would be the dominate one? How would i get him to become more dominate? I tried telling him what i wanted... but i found that was a little hard because i wasn't really sure what it was that i wanted. He did try ... but i felt he wasn't sure what i was asking. (sorry rambling) Anyways, any advice on this or where I can find out the answers would be welcome.

Thanks again.

Tell him you're going to show him what you want then pull his hair and spank him.

Also, you can't get anyone to be dominate as that is grammatically incorrect. You can dominate someone or you as a person can be dominant. You can talk with him about being more dominant though.

Don't blame me, we have lots of librarians and English teachers here. All of them subbies but if you use the word "dominate" out of context they will come to your house in a big group and smack your hand with a ruler. Trust me on this one, they can be mean!

 

[DVS]

Don't blame me, we have lots of librarians and English teachers here. All of them subbies but if you use the word "dominate" out of context they will come to your house in a big group and smack your hand with a ruler. Trust me on this one, they can be mean!

There, now that could be a good question to ask. Wynnie, what if there was a group coming to your house to smack you with a ruler? Would that seem exciting, or would you not find that exciting?

Not knowing what you want is a problem. But, you aren't the only one, for sure. Some of us know exactly what we want, and some of us are very confused. It's just how we are.

I was one of the lucky ones who know what I wanted, from the beginning. Oh, I didn't know what it was called, but I knew what I liked.

It just takes a little time. You probably need to read some stories, or check out some web sites that talk about BDSM activities and make note of the ones you find interesting.

Then, of those, you need to figure out why you find them interesting. Just because you are female, doean't mean you should be submissive. And, just because your boyfriend is male, doesn't mean he should be the dominant one. There are a lot of female Dommes and a lot of male submissives. And, there are also a fair share of switches, too.

But, you won't be able to force your boyfriend to be anything he isn't. Even if he is doing it for you, he will eventually get bored with it, and want to move on. But, if he is into it, you two need to read some stories and maybe experiment with things.

If he isn't into being the Dom, try spanking him, like Betticus said. Just try things, to see if you enjoy them. If you don't...no biggie. Move on to something else.

Let your boyfriend read some stories, to see if he finds any of them interesting. Maybe you aren't doing such a good job explaining things to him, and well...a good story could be just what you need.

Whatever you do, be open minded and make sure your boyfriend is, too. You really can't experiment, if you don't think it will work, before you even start. Play around...get kinky. See if you enjoy it. Have fun!