Are Bi women Attracted to Shemales?

[CuriousinPennsylvania]

Ladies - this one's for you.

It's quite obvious that a number of men are into Shemales. Which guy with those proclivities doesn't enjoy looking at a feminine face and breasts, while anticipating uncovering a juicy cock hiding under those garments?

But, how about women who desire other women? How many of them would like to have sex with a Shemale? How many would enjoy the same feminine face and breasts and then be happy to uncover that juicy cock?

 

[LincolnDuncan]

My guess is that most like the cock as long as it's plastic

 

[Escierto]

There are many transgender women who are lesbians. Look on Tinder and Grindr and you will see many who are only interested in women and yes, they are successful finding partners.

 

[twztdgirl]

I stumbled on a video of a woman and a shemale and I must admit it fascinated me. But then again I have always liked “unusual” combinations.

 

[RandyRebecca]

Bisexuals = Sexually attracted to people from two or more genders
Pansexuals = Sexually attracted to people regardless of gender

In other words, bisexuals are gender conscious in their sexual attraction, pansexuals are gender blind in their sexual attraction. A subtle difference.

So, to answer the thread question as to whether bisexual women are attracted to shemales. Some will be, some won't be. But pansexuals will be. Me personally, as a bisexual woman, shemales are not really my thing, but I wouldn't rule it out completely.

 

[v_indigo]

Could we please not use the term ‘shemale’? It’s really not OK

 

[RandyRebecca]

Could we please not use the term ‘shemale’? It’s really not OK

So what's the politically correct term these days?

 

[v_indigo]

the slur can mean a few things, but in this context probably ‘intersex’.
It’s interesting how choosing a word that isn’t a slur is considered ‘politically correct’. We shy away from using racial slurs (at least some of the time), is that just because of political correctness, or is it because slurs are shitty and hurtful?

 

[Escierto]

the slur can mean a few things, but in this context probably ‘intersex’.
It’s interesting how choosing a word that isn’t a slur is considered ‘politically correct’. We shy away from using racial slurs (at least some of the time), is that just because of political correctness, or is it because slurs are shitty and hurtful?

Well said. They get all in a huff about political correctness when all it is, they just want to continue using derogatory terms. What is so FUCKING difficult about saying transgender man or transgender woman?

 

[v_indigo]

Well said. They get all in a huff about political correctness when all it is, they just want to continue using derogatory terms. What is so FUCKING difficult about saying transgender man or transgender woman?

Because they’d rather fetishize and dehumanize

 

[Britva415]

Bisexuals = Sexually attracted to people from two or more genders
Pansexuals = Sexually attracted to people regardless of gender

In other words, bisexuals are gender conscious in their sexual attraction, pansexuals are gender blind in their sexual attraction. A subtle difference.

So subtle that your explanation doesn't help me, a fellow bi, understand it. The conclusion doesn't follow from the presentation. What if someone's attracted to people regardless of gender, but is still "gender conscious?" What if someone hasn't ever met people of all possible genders and so can't know whether they're attracted to them all (genders, not people) or not? Can they claim to be "gender blind," whatever that even means? What does it mean?

I admit, I'm coming at this from the perspective/perception that "pansexual" is a word that was coined to mean "better than bi," or that pans think they can like someone just for being a person, while, bis can't because their attraction is somehow specifically attached to gender even if they're attracted to "more than one." Which, to me, always sounded like a way of saying "nyah nyah not all of them!" - and in fact I have seen some pans explicitly say this. Not in exactly those smarmy words, that was all me, but unmistakably claiming a capability or orientation which pans have and bis supposedly don't.

These are perceptions I'd be happy to let go of if anyone could ever help me understand what's really intended when I see/hear/read about pansexuality. I assume good faith and that my perceptions must be wrong, I'm just spelling out where I'm currently at.

In this instance, it seems to come down to not understanding what's meant by "gender blind" and "gender conscious." Gender "blindness" doesn't strike me as achievable, except in the neurological sense, like how some people are "face blind." So it could be that you're talking about some kind of a gender-consciousness "sense" which (according to the thesis) which bis (and straights and gays too) must have and pans must not, but wouldn't that be, like, projecting ableism or elitism or something? More to the point, and without loaded language, is it realistic? Is it an accurate representation of the pan point of view? I get that the thesis isn't that pans don't detect/perceive/have awareness of gender, I don't get how that's not gender conscious or how it's gender blindness and how it amounts to a difference between pan and bi orientations.

Pans forgive me if I come off as defensive, I suppose I am a little bit because of the way I perceive pan messaging. If you or someone is able to help me see it not-that-way, I'm quite receptive. There's something pans think is different from bis, and I don't get what it is, other than understandably not wanting to be associated with the appearance of only liking two genders - which, hey, we don't either, but people who insist that that's what "bisexual" means, thus creating that appearance to begin with, aren't operating in good faith. (I'm not saying you've done that. You clearly have not. But that's where it came from - people did do that.)

I do have something positive to say about the prominence and visibility of the pan identity lately, and it's that bi erasure seems to be easing as a result, so, thanks, pans

 

[Britva415]

Could we please not use the term ‘shemale’? It’s really not OK

Here, let's @ @CuriousinPennsylvania while we're at it so they can't miss this message.

 

[Britva415]

We shy away from using racial slurs (at least some of the time), is that just because of political correctness

For some people it actually is just because of political correctness. They know they'll catch consequences for using the slurs.

We call them "closet racists."

 

[RandyRebecca]

So subtle that your explanation doesn't help me, a bi, understand it. The conclusion doesn't follow from the presentation. What if someone's attracted to people regardless of gender, but is still "gender conscious?" What if someone hasn't ever met people of all possible genders and so can't know whether they're attracted to them all (genders, not people) or not? Are they "gender blind," whatever that even means? What does it mean?

Gender blind means that when you're sexually attracted to someone, the gender of that person that you're attracted to plays no part in the sexual attraction. Gender conscious means that when you're sexually attracted to someone, the gender of that person that you're attracted to plays a part in the attraction. A bisexual person fancies men because they're men and fancies women because they're women, and might be attracted to trans people too or might not. A pansexual person is going to fancy certain people, regardless of their gender, and with gender playing no role in the attraction.

Someone who is gender conscious is going to be attracted to someone because of gender (not regardless of gender), even if they are attracted to both men and women, and maybe to transpeople too. Heterosexuals and homosexuals are gender conscious too, like bisexuals.

I admit, I'm coming at this from the perspective/perception that "pansexual" is a word that was coined to mean "better than bi," or that pans think they can like someone just for being a person, while, bis can't because their attraction is somehow specifically attached to gender even if they're attracted to "more than one." Which, to me, always sounded like a way of saying "nyah nyah not all of them!" - and in fact I have seen some pans explicitly say this. Not in exactly those smarmy words, that was all me, but unmistakably claiming a capability or orientation which pans have and bis supposedly don't.

Well, I'm bisexual, and I know that I'm not pansexual. I'm very much gender conscious when I'm sexually attracted to a man or a woman. Gender very much plays a part in it for me. Gender wouldn't play a part in it for a pansexual, i.e. they are gender blind.

These are perceptions I'd be happy to let go of if anyone could ever help me understand what's really intended when I see/hear/read about pansexuality. I assume good faith and that my perceptions must be wrong, I'm just spelling out where I'm currently at.

In this instance, it seems to come down to not understanding what's meant by "gender blind" and "gender conscious." Gender "blindness" doesn't strike me as achievable, except in the neurological sense, like how some people are "face blind." So it could be that you're talking about some kind of a gender-consciousness "sense" which (according to the thesis) which bis (and straights and gays too) must have and pans must not, but wouldn't that be, like, projecting ableism or elitism or something? More to the point, and without loaded language, is it realistic? Is it an accurate representation of the pan point of view? I get that the thesis isn't that pans don't detect/perceive/have awareness of gender, I don't get how that's not gender conscious or how it's gender blindness and how it amounts to a difference between pan and bi orientations.

For pansexuals, gender blindness in sexual attraction is very much their reality. They will be sexually attracted to the physical anatomy and personality of certain people, but gender doesn't play a conscious role in it for them.

The exact opposite of bisexual and pansexual would be asexual, i.e. a lack of, or absence of, sexual attraction to other people.

 

[Britva415]

Gender blind means that when you're sexually attracted to someone, the gender of that person that you're attracted to plays no part in the sexual attraction. Gender conscious means that when you're sexually attracted to someone, the gender of that person that you're attracted to plays a part in the attraction. A bisexual person fancies men because they're men and fancies women because they're women, and might be attracted to trans people too or might not. A pansexual person is going to fancy certain people, regardless of their gender, and with gender playing no role in the attraction.


Well, I'm bisexual, and I know that I'm not pansexual. I'm very much gender conscious when I'm sexually attracted to a man or a woman. Gender very much plays a part in it for me. Gender wouldn't play a part in it for a pansexual, i.e. they are gender blind.


For pansexuals, gender blindness in sexual attraction is very much their reality. They will be sexually attracted to the physical anatomy and personality of certain people, but gender doesn't play a conscious role in it for them.

The exact opposite of bisexual and pansexual would be asexual, i.e. a lack of, or absence of, sexual attraction to other people.

Thanks. It's something. You've made me think about it in terms of "how do I know I'm not pansexual," which is new.

 

[RandyRebecca]

Thanks. It's something. You've made me think about it in terms of "how do I know I'm not pansexual," which is new.

I'm glad to have helped.

I'm not pansexual myself, but I understand it. They fancy a body or a personality, fall in lust or love with that person, and gender isn't a factor in the attraction for them. For bisexuals like myself, gender is very much a factor in the attraction.

 

[AlexBailey]

Thanks. It's something. You've made me think about it in terms of "how do I know I'm not pansexual," which is new.

I'm glad to have helped.

I'm not pansexual myself, but I understand it. They fancy a body or a personality, fall in lust or love with that person, and gender isn't a factor in the attraction for them. For bisexuals like myself, gender is very much a factor in the attraction.

I’d also add that there are many people who are bisexual yet are transphobic.

As a nonbinary person myself I’ve learned this through painful experience.

 

[Britva415]

I’d also add that there are many people who are bisexual yet are transphobic.

As a nonbinary person myself I’ve learned this through painful experience.

Yikes, sorry to hear it.

 

[RandyRebecca]

I’d also add that there are many people who are bisexual yet are transphobic.

As a nonbinary person myself I’ve learned this through painful experience.

Just as there are gay people who are biphobic.

 

[Britva415]

there are many people who are bisexual yet are transphobic.

Just as there are gay people who are biphobic.

I know I'm not the only one who's confused by pansexual messaging. I know people who choose the "pan" label only because they bought into the lie that "bi" either is an inherently trans-and-nonbinary-phobic orientation or at least is perceived that way by everyone.

 

[AlexBailey]

I know I'm not the only one who's confused by pansexual messaging. I know people who choose the "pan" label only because they bought into the lie that "bi" either is an inherently transphobic orientation or at least is perceived that way by everyone.

If they claim to be Pan but are only attracted to male or female and nothing in between they are being misleading in the way they identify.

Another specific ‘bi’ proclivity is those who are into ffm but not into fmm. I don’t know of a specific term for this but it is extremely common.

 

[RandyRebecca]

I know I'm not the only one who's confused by pansexual messaging. I know people who choose the "pan" label only because they bought into the lie that "bi" either is an inherently trans-and-nonbinary-phobic orientation or at least is perceived that way by everyone.

They are not being honest if that's the case.

If they claim to be Pan but are only attracted to male or female and nothing in between they are being misleading in the way they identify.

Yes, exactly. Pansexuals will view transpeople, in a sexual sense, in exactly the same way as they view cis men and cis women, i.e. as individual people that they either fancy or they don't. Bisexuals will either see transpeople as another separate gender of attraction (like with men and with women), or they won't fancy transpeople at all.

 

[AlexBailey]

Yes, exactly. Pansexuals will view transpeople, in a sexual sense, in exactly the same way as they view cis men and cis women, i.e. as individual people that they either fancy or they don't. Bisexuals will either see transpeople as another separate gender of attraction (like with men and with women), or they won't fancy transpeople at all.

I agree with this for the most part, except that I have a heightened attraction to other pans, trans, and nonbinary - almost a kink for pan tomboys.

It’s not that I objectify them, more that I relate and feel most comfortable in my self around them.

 

[Britva415]

I wonder if there's a spectrum along a pan vs bi axis, instead of "one or the other."

 

[AlexBailey]

I wonder if there's a spectrum along a pan vs bi axis, instead of "one or the other."

hmm. It seems to me that spectrum would be a measure of how open someone is to a variety of transgender identities.

Some people are only into trans people who ‘pass’, others may only be into femmes who have penises, or only those without.

I’ve know many lesbians who were very into trans men but not at all into trans women.

The labels are helpful for shorthand, but if it comes down to connecting there are many more specific preferences. The same is true among gays and lesbians, ie there are gay men who are only tops into masculine bottoms, or gay femmes who are only into masculine men - just as there are preferences among lesbians for butch or femme partners, etc. and of course there’s often flexibility.


It can be very confusing, especially for outsiders or someone who is just coming out.