anyone ever have a kid who had a hard time learning to read?

[lickerish]

My 7 year old is in 2nd grade, and is barely reading at a 1st grade level.. she's always had issues with this, and now it's getting serious cuz she's way behind all the other kids in her class... they're all reading chapter books and she's not even close. I just had school conference with her teacher who said she's already done what she can.. my daughter attends a special reading group 4 days a week for 1/2 an hour.. which I've noticed a bit of an improvement, but not much.

She gets frustrated and embarrassed to the point where she refuses to sound out the letters in a word. She's afraid she'll get it wrong. It doesn't matter how much I encourage her.. she just flat won't do it. We've done the phonics videos, she lost interest after watching it twice. We've done workbooks. When we read together, she makes me read it all. She only guesses the words by looking at the pictures. I'm getting frustrated because I've been reading since I was 4.. it came naturally to me.. and until I had kids, I always had my nose in a book. I get irritated because she won't try to pronounce the words. I'm at my wits end and can't think of anything else to help her..

It doesn't help that her 6 year old sister is in Kindergarten and reads at a higher level than her (the 6 year old is like me), so that make her feel worse. Something I've noticed is that those that are great at reading, suck at math (me and my younger daughter), and those that suck at reading are great at math (my oldest)...

Anyways, short of enrolling her at a tutoring center (can't afford this option), is there anything anyone can recommend?

 

[Wiggles]

I know you've probably already checked this out, but I just have to satisfy my curiousity....

Have you had her vision checked? It can be very hard to learn when you have no idea what the teacher is writing on the board.

Have you had her checked for dyslexia?

I don't know of anything to help you out, I would just give it time and patience.

My brother has had a horrible time with his math and reading, he'd always blow up at us when we tried to help him out. I couldn't be too hard on him though, because if it's that aggravating just trying to help him, I can only imagine how frustrated he must've felt.

 

[Black_Bird]

My younger brother had a hard time learning the read as well... It's always come natural to me, but for him it was always a challenge. He was far sighted... so... it could be vision.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Go the testing route if you haven't already... check for learning disorders, dyslexia, all that.

Like you, I've never had a hard time reading, I was reading at a 9th grade level by the middle of first grade. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be as a parent to have a kid that was struggling with something that came so easy to me.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Check out your local college/university programs. When I was in college, I tutored for credit. It was great fun. The children went through testing and the programs I followed with them were really specific.

We had a great time. I stayed with my child for a year.

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Lickerish.........

Does she have the same problem with "arithmetic"? Is she learning that numbers are to a great extent a code system? No, that was a stupid question 'cause kids don't see that, but does she seem to be grasping that 2+2+2=6 and 2x3=6? If she is doing OK at math, try relating the order of the number system to the order of the alphabetic "system".

Can she read music? Minds work in different ways, perhaps her's would understand language if presented through the media of the structure of musical notes.

Possibly, a year away from school would allow her to mature to an equal level, or greater, than those she is being forced to "compete" with in her current situation.

Just a couple off the wall thoughts.

Good luck.

RhumbRunner

 

[freakygirl]

Lickerish,

vision is one thing to have checked. Dyslexia is another.

Another thing you might try is getting the hooked on phonics game. It has worked wonders for my 8 year old nephew who was having the same problem.

 

[BarberBabe]

My 7 year old is in 2nd grade, and is barely reading at a 1st grade level.. she's always had issues with this, and now it's getting serious cuz she's way behind all the other kids in her class... they're all reading chapter books and she's not even close. I just had school conference with her teacher who said she's already done what she can.. my daughter attends a special reading group 4 days a week for 1/2 an hour.. which I've noticed a bit of an improvement, but not much.

She gets frustrated and embarrassed to the point where she refuses to sound out the letters in a word. She's afraid she'll get it wrong. It doesn't matter how much I encourage her.. she just flat won't do it. We've done the phonics videos, she lost interest after watching it twice. We've done workbooks. When we read together, she makes me read it all. She only guesses the words by looking at the pictures. I'm getting frustrated because I've been reading since I was 4.. it came naturally to me.. and until I had kids, I always had my nose in a book. I get irritated because she won't try to pronounce the words. I'm at my wits end and can't think of anything else to help her..

It doesn't help that her 6 year old sister is in Kindergarten and reads at a higher level than her (the 6 year old is like me), so that make her feel worse. Something I've noticed is that those that are great at reading, suck at math (me and my younger daughter), and those that suck at reading are great at math (my oldest)...

Anyways, short of enrolling her at a tutoring center (can't afford this option), is there anything anyone can recommend?

That sounds very familiar , I am a boarder line dyslexic. I see things backwards ( 6's , 9's , b's,d's) it does make reading difficult , so I too hated to read aloud. They didn't know this till I was out of school ...my brother just happend to volunteer tutor for the local Dyslexia organization. This was a free service, check in your area.

 

[amelia]

i teach pre-k and have a degree in child development, some of the newer research says not to really worry about skill development until your child is 8 b/c the brain develops at such different levels for different people..so..if you get her tested and they discover that nothing is "wrong", i'd focus on her self-esteem...b/c i think the reading will come later..but..if her self-esteem gets damaged she may always have a mental block when it comes to reading and reading comprehension...

keep your chin up..and encourage your daughter to do well in math...she'll find some value in that...and dang..i wish i was good in math!!!

~~Amelia

 

[SilverVeil]

Everything everyone has said sums it up nicely. Sometimes having a stranger ( I mean in the sense of a tutor ) helping can be a huge difference.

Some kids never read very well. My brother is one of those. To this very day he will not crack a book for pleasure reading. I really feel sorry for him. He is missing so much !!!

Encourage your child to do things that involve reading. Baking with you .... ( have her read the ingredients to you ) Um .... sing a long books are great... they provide the lyrics for the child to sing along with and they get familiar with the words. Most reading is memory anyway right ?

Praise and cherish the things she is good at. Compliments over other things can help her know she is good at different things.

 

[alexandraaah]

All the other posts are the direction you should try going...I would however, not stop at the teacher saying s/he's done all they could do.

While the teacher probably does not have the time, the school should. Get on the school about testing as outside referrals for academic testing are really, really expensive.

Some schools will not allow a student to be in Special Ed. unless they are formally diagnosed with a LD or BD...with no exception for children who just learn at a different pace. This pisses me off, but that's off track.

Insist the school do testing on your daughter. Treatments and alternative learning methods these days are near miracles compared to history.

Best of luck,

Alex

 

[Monazwx]

Also

Apart from testing and tools like "Hooked on Phonics" (which is a really good suggestion by the way), it's crucial to build up your child's self-confidence.

My sister was and is still going through what your daughter's experiencing now. She's been battling from grade 1 and is now at the high school level. Even today, she is constantly stressed out, putting presurre on herself. She was tested and they didn't find everything wrong, but because she went through it all, she felt like she wasn't worthy or something.

She always had/has our love and support and she knows it, but it wasn't until a special teacher who believed in her came into her life. She made the dean's list that year and is continuing to do well. If possible, find a person apart from family who can encourage her and let your daughter know not to let frustration hinder her and that you'll always be there for her.

But I'm sure that you're doing a great job of that already!!!

 

[morninggirl5]

Lickerish,

I have several questions for you, but the first thought that comes into my head is that everything that you have mentioned deals with phonics. Some kids just don't learn individual words and sounds and put them together in words. They really can't make that connection.

Did she have a hard time learning the individual letters or did she learn them through association (the letters in her name, or d is for dog, b is for ball)?

The big education term is field dependent (vs field independent for those of us who can put the pieces together). She really needs to see the whole words and learn them before trying to deal with sounding out unknown words.

She obviously understands reading strategies, that's why she's looking at the picture to try to figure out the unknown word.

Does she "memorize" books that she has heard to read later?


Also, please keep reading to her. Read things above her level, read anything she wants to hear. She's learning lots of language and literacy skills when you do.

I have several links that might help you if you think she might be field dependent instead of field independent. I can also "digitally memorize" some materials from my classroom if you'd like.

mg

 

[Cheyenne]

I didn't do well at reading in first and second grade. I was bored and didn't pay attention (not just in reading.) The school told my parents that based on my tests, I was working well below my ability. I was at risk for having to take 3rd grade over again if I didn't make up a lot of reading levels in one year. That partially motivated me because I didn't want to flunk. BUT, what really motivated me was learning to read actual stories! The stories are what hooked me on reading for fun. I caught up in my reading levels in 3rd grade when I was 8.

Try going to the library to let your daughter find books in her reading ability level about topics that interest her. WANTING to read is most of the battle.

 

[lickerish]

gah. ignore this.

 

[sigh]

All the other posts are the direction you should try going...I would however, not stop at the teacher saying s/he's done all they could do.

While the teacher probably does not have the time, the school should. Get on the school about testing as outside referrals for academic testing are really, really expensive.

Some schools will not allow a student to be in Special Ed. unless they are formally diagnosed with a LD or BD...with no exception for children who just learn at a different pace. This pisses me off, but that's off track.

Insist the school do testing on your daughter. Treatments and alternative learning methods these days are near miracles compared to history.

Best of luck,

Alex

listen to alex...it sounds as if your child has a learning disability and a school psycologist can diagnose it...and with a diagnosis comes services

but you have to push for services...school districts, at least around here, are very unwilling to offer a service that's unsought...it sounds as if you could get LD services and that could be a huge help

and don't be afraid of having your child labeled either...i learned long ago that pretending that my son wasn't who he is, did him no good at all...you can't fix a problem unless you define it first

 

[freescorfr]

I want to shout very loudly about this one

Lickerish, when a child is not developing in a way which we believe is really important for the child, the first thing to do is really question our belief. In this case your belief about the importance of reading.

I met a researcher in 1978 who was working on children with reading difficulties and it happens particularly to kids who have a sibling just below them. She found the key was to teach them a foreign language like french, at the age of 8 or 9. Her findings were that their acquision of the foreign language was swift and that their reading age in the foreign language overtook that of their peers.

This then gave then the boost and knowledge that it is not that they cannot read.


It has worked for my 3rd child who still hardly reads in English but is fluent in French. He has twins 14 months younger than him. Here's some sites he wrote last year when he was 14. He has never read a book.


http://callam.free.fr/home.html

http://joint*******.fr/

http://votrepage.free.fr/site-it/main/

His current work is all on a server since he's working on something I don't understand.


Another very important thing is that reading is only one of a child's potentialities. It is a very small part of life. She has physical potentials, social, moral and aesthetic potentials, as well as academic. There is more good research - and it's American and I can't lay my hands on it right now- which shows how effective it is to put more energy - more of your energy- into encouraging her is what she is best at, than draining her and yourself on an area of difficulty like reading - which will gradually diminish in time.

Another killer for her is comparison with others, even if you don't do it and the school doesn't, she'll do it herself.

I bet, Lickerish nothing makes you feel better tham being discovered as special by a person you love. It has to be a special thing which you like about yourself, too. She has to feel, "I am special because ...is good about me." She needs to know all her good points make the reading thing insignificant - and that means acknowledging that it really is trivial. For that to happen you have to be able to say to yourself, the school and everyone, "Fuck the reading, it's not defining of her - look at all these other things.." and really believe it. It's possible.

Education is one of the most damaging forces in our society, I believe. My suggestion is to renounce every desire you have that she becomes a good reader, help her to build her strongest points and enable her to value herself for what she is, not in comparison to anyone else.

Good luck.

 

[morninggirl5]

I want to shout very loudly about this one

Lickerish, when a child is not developing in a way which we believe is really important for the child, the first thing to do is really question our belief. In this case your belief about the importance of reading.



Another very important thing is that reading is only one of a child's potentialities. It is a very small part of life.
For that to happen you have to be able to say to yourself, the school and everyone, "Fuck the reading, it's not defining of her - look at all these other things.." and really believe it. It's possible.

Education is one of the most damaging forces in our society, I believe. My suggestion is to renounce every desire you have that she becomes a good reader, help her to build her strongest points and enable her to value herself for what she is, not in comparison to anyone else.

Good luck.

Freescofr,

It obvious from your post that you believe what you have said here. Your message is totally contradictory, though. Your child that is reading fluently in French IS READING. It's not in English, but the skills are the same. Perhaps it was easier because he/she had to learn it as whole words, the natural field dependent learning style was met instead of the "holy" field independent phonics approach.

Reading IS very important. In our culture, a non-reader is severely limited. Our society is a literary society requiring literacy to do everything from apply for a job to order in a restaraunt. Without a basic literacy, there are very few opportunities open to members. Beyond that, reading is tied to every single academic pursuit after Kindergarten. In our culture, without a high school diploma, you can't even get a job at McDonalds. It is no longer possible to be a productive adult and be illiterate at the same time.

Education is one of the most enhancing elements of our society. Education can make up for many inequities from an impoverished background to a physical or social disability. Education is the key to a child's future.

Your posts sounds as if you are suggesting that because of one difficulty, we should give up and not try to teach a child the difficult concept or subject. If you truly care about the student, that is not the way to help them grow and learn.

 

[freescorfr]

Freescofr,

It obvious from your post that you believe what you have said here. Your message is totally contradictory, though. Your child that is reading fluently in French IS READING. It's not in English, but the skills are the same. Perhaps it was easier because he/she had to learn it as whole words, the natural field dependent learning style was met instead of the "holy" field independent phonics approach.

Reading IS very important. In our culture, a non-reader is severely limited. Our society is a literary society requiring literacy to do everything from apply for a job to order in a restaraunt. Without a basic literacy, there are very few opportunities open to members. Beyond that, reading is tied to every single academic pursuit after Kindergarten. In our culture, without a high school diploma, you can't even get a job at McDonalds. It is no longer possible to be a productive adult and be illiterate at the same time.

Education is one of the most enhancing elements of our society. Education can make up for many inequities from an impoverished background to a physical or social disability. Education is the key to a child's future.

Your posts sounds as if you are suggesting that because of one difficulty, we should give up and not try to teach a child the difficult concept or subject. If you truly care about the student, that is not the way to help them grow and learn.

morningirl5, of course I believe what I say and I know that you have your belief too.

Top take your last point, I am suggesting that if you concentrate on helping the child enhance what they are already good at the other things will follow. There is excellent evidence that this works as a therapeutic approach with alcoholica and with geriatric people in care.

Education can make up for many inequities from an impoverished background

That is quite a belief, which I expect many people share with you, but there is no evidence I know of to suggest that, other than in individual cases, the massive investment in education has shifted social boundaries within any defined population. ie, in the USA, for example, social groups are still where they are relative to other social groupings - and where movement does take place it is for other resons wuite independent of education.
I understand that for you this belief is very important; I see it very differently.

As for my son. No he doesn't read and couldn't read anything out loud with ease. Before he came to France 3 years ago, he couldn't read in English. He bought himself a computer and taught himself the lot. He learns nothing at school - he does not go to any classes now. - But he works on his own potentials.

The hypothesis about older siblings was that at the stage of language acquisition the arrival of a new baby inscribed an emotional trauma on the young child. I am not clear why this later caused reading difficulties - since starting reading would be a year or even two later.

What I do believe is that the emotional IQ of the child - or its emotional welfare - is highly significant in the whole business of reading skills and that parental - and teacher concern can be a killer. I'm not denying that finding out about physiological and motor problems is an essential first step and early diagnosis preferable.

However, it is interesting to note that in Stalinist Russia and in Brazil in the sixties, literacy rates among the adult population rose phenomenally in a matter of years - and , without the pressure of parents and an education system, the acquisition of reading skills was as natural as the acquisition of languague itself, except in the very old.

I am simply asking parents to question their most deeply held beliefs - even about reading. There are many ways of reading!!