Any advice?

[The_Boss]

Hello everyone. Im new and this is my first time posting.
I have a situation I need a little help with. My gf and I have been together for quite some time now, and we're both virgins. This coming weekend is going to be a crazy one and I know for a fact that she wants to have sex. Since we're both virgins and more importantly me, any advice on how to make it good for her? I don't want to make a fool out of myself, I really want her to enjoy it. I just feel nervous and not because of sex, but because I'm worried I'll just suck so bad this first time that she'll regret going for it. Any tips or help that can atleast make it seem good to her? I'm ready to go for anything, Im ready to sacrifice my own needs and work on her to make her to enjoy it more than I will if thats what it will take. Thanks alot in advance.

 

[fr34k_n45ty]

Take your time and do what feels right. Maybe there is something in the blank manual there's all sorts of topics there. I would really recommend checking that out. Only other thing I can say is light some candels, put some music on, lock the door and turn your attention to her kiss and massage and lots of foreplay. And make sure you don't forget to HAVE FUN.

Melissa

 

[TBKahuna123]

I'm really resisting the urge to say "of course you're going to suck your first time!" While on a technical level that may be true, it doesn't ahve to be that way. I gotta be honest, my first time was kind of a disaster, but it still was pretty special. Here are a few things that might help, but I'll give you a little secret, these are also the things you should keep doing because they'll make you a better lover in general.

1.) Attitude: Make it about her. You obviously already have that. You're ahead of the game there. now just don't take that too far. If you worry too much about how Good you are you're going to be nervous and screw something up. Just relax and enjoy each other.

2.) Don't rush it. I'm not just talking about actual penetration, I'm talking about the whole act. Spend time kissing, caressing, exploring. Let her know it's not just about pounding her pussy into submission.

3.) Ask her what she likes, what makes her feel good. If you ahve been together a while, have you been sexually active? You may not have "gone all the way", but what have you done? Petting, oral etc.? Even if you think you know what she likes, don't be afraid to ask her. We never stop learning about our partners or ourselves.

4.) Let her be on top at first. Being on top can be a little tough your first time because you are worried about other things. This is especially true if the woman is a virgin as well.

5.) Oral sex. I can not stress enough the importance of this. You want to make her first time special, start her off with a nice orgasm from your tongue to set the mood. It's like starting the meal with dessert.

6.) Relax. If you worry about your proficiency instead of just enjying it you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just relax and enjoy being together.

7.) Lubrication. For some women a good tongue lashing is enough to really get them lubed up, but others migfht need some artifical lubrication. This is especially true the first time and it certainly wouldn't hurt. This might make things more comfortable for her.

Trust me, your first few times are going to be technically imperfect, but that's not what's important. What's important is that you both enjoy the intimacy of the act, not the act itself. Talk to your gf, let her know your apprehension and let her feel comfortable about talking to you about what she likes or doesn't like. The same is true for you. You both have to communicate to each other your likes and wants. This is the key to an awesome sex life.

Good luck and have fun. Just relax and enjoy each other, don't worry about what you might be doing wrong.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

You will be surprised about how easy to it comes to you when you are in the act of sex. My first time, it just sort of happened, and I just did what I thought was right. Don't worry about being bad or good for the first time, just learn. Your both virgins, and you have no idea how anything feels, so really, she can't say you suck, because she has never had better.

Just take your time, enjoy it, and do what you feel is right.


Ravin

 

[BlueSugar]

Lots of foreplay, cuddling, make it special and talk to her about it until then.
Also, I don't know too many people (at all really) who had a fantastic first time, if it happens like a dream anywhere it would be in a movie.

So to dispell some myths and take some pressure off your/her shoulders

1. Relax
2. Everyone fumbles, and it doesn't usually last very long.
3. If she isn't relaxed, you aren't getting anywhere.
4. Try having her on top, so she has some control.
5. oral oral oral lube oral oral oral use your hands, and a toy if she has one.
6. talk, sweet nothings, ask her if shes ok
7. protection *firm nod* very important
8. Relax
9. try a blowjob to completion, maybe after you get hard that second time, you could last a little longer if you are worried about that - but honestly a mouth and a vagina feels vastly different so try and not worry about the first time being quick.
10. I hope you both know how to laugh, giggle, and have fun. Its awkward, a little painful, and a new experience - my opinion, to get rid of some of the awkwardness or weird positioning, try and cushion both of your egos, try laughing a little and make it fun.
11. TALK WITH HER BEFORE HAND about all of this
12. Relax

*thinks*
that just about does it.
no one is a porn star out of the gates, everyone starts off as a minute man, depending on her sexual activity before sexal intercourse she will be uncomfortable with the sensation, maybe a little blood, depending on how large you are she could even feel a little numb

so to recap: relax, lube, protection, have fun, and communicate.

it also may be a good idea for her to check Lit out too

 

[TBKahuna123]

10. I hope you both know how to laugh, giggle, and have fun. Its awkward, a little painful, and a new experience - my opinion, to get rid of some of the awkwardness or weird positioning, try and cushion both of your egos, try laughing a little and make it fun.

Oh boy ain't that the truth!!!

If you do this, if you can giggle about the akward moments then not only will your first time be fun, it'll bring you closer together.

 

[The_Boss]

Thanks alot guys for everything, I'll keep all that in mind and I'll go read the Blank Manual. We've done alot of stuff before, but we never went all the way. So I guess the only thing that worries me is the minute man thing just like Sugar said, but ur right everybody starts off as a minute man. From what her and I had, I know I'm good in the rest of the stuff. Anyways, my appreciation goes to everyone for ur advices. Thanks.

 

[3113]

You probably know this...

You proabably already know this, but because you're nervous and we don't want you any more anxious....

In erotica, there are a lot of stories where a girl's first time hurts a little, but then is wonderful. I won't say it can't happen as, of course, it can...but it's not common. You, the guy, make as good as you can for her, and give her as good a time prior to penetration (oral sex, orgasms, massages, etc) as you're able.

Be prepared, however, for actual penetration to hurt or be uncomfortable for her. Unless she's been practicing with toys or cucumbers, she's likely to be a little tight, and, well lubricated or not, it's likely not going to be all that pleasant. Not like it's going to be for you. Depending on your penis size and thickness, she may even bleed a little.

Don't panic. It's normal.

She may be a little sore as well the next day. I promise you, she'll be fine, and you did everything right; this discomfort may happen on the second and third try as well, but you two will keep getting better from here, and both of you will enjoy it more each time.

As advised, try to relax, enjoy--and maintain your sense of humor.
Please let us know how it goes.

 

[human_male]

I'm really resisting the urge to say "of course you're going to suck your first time!" While on a technical level that may be true, it doesn't ahve to be that way. I gotta be honest, my first time was kind of a disaster, but it still was pretty special. Here are a few things that might help, but I'll give you a little secret, these are also the things you should keep doing because they'll make you a better lover in general.

1.) Attitude: Make it about her. You obviously already have that. You're ahead of the game there. now just don't take that too far. If you worry too much about how Good you are you're going to be nervous and screw something up. Just relax and enjoy each other.

2.) Don't rush it. I'm not just talking about actual penetration, I'm talking about the whole act. Spend time kissing, caressing, exploring. Let her know it's not just about pounding her pussy into submission.

3.) Ask her what she likes, what makes her feel good. If you ahve been together a while, have you been sexually active? You may not have "gone all the way", but what have you done? Petting, oral etc.? Even if you think you know what she likes, don't be afraid to ask her. We never stop learning about our partners or ourselves.

4.) Let her be on top at first. Being on top can be a little tough your first time because you are worried about other things. This is especially true if the woman is a virgin as well.

5.) Oral sex. I can not stress enough the importance of this. You want to make her first time special, start her off with a nice orgasm from your tongue to set the mood. It's like starting the meal with dessert.

6.) Relax. If you worry about your proficiency instead of just enjying it you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just relax and enjoy being together.

7.) Lubrication. For some women a good tongue lashing is enough to really get them lubed up, but others migfht need some artifical lubrication. This is especially true the first time and it certainly wouldn't hurt. This might make things more comfortable for her.

Trust me, your first few times are going to be technically imperfect, but that's not what's important. What's important is that you both enjoy the intimacy of the act, not the act itself. Talk to your gf, let her know your apprehension and let her feel comfortable about talking to you about what she likes or doesn't like. The same is true for you. You both have to communicate to each other your likes and wants. This is the key to an awesome sex life.

Good luck and have fun. Just relax and enjoy each other, don't worry about what you might be doing wrong.

No no no, for gawds sake. You just climb on, shove it in, bang away as hard as you can and get off as soon as you cum. Easy!

 

[TBKahuna123]

Thanks alot guys for everything, I'll keep all that in mind and I'll go read the Blank Manual. We've done alot of stuff before, but we never went all the way. So I guess the only thing that worries me is the minute man thing just like Sugar said, but ur right everybody starts off as a minute man. From what her and I had, I know I'm good in the rest of the stuff. Anyways, my appreciation goes to everyone for ur advices. Thanks.

Minute Man Syndrome! I always followed the Sam Kinison rule: Make her cum twice before she can even see your dick!

Now the point still stands, I always try to make sure that she has at least one orgasm before we start penetration, because then I don't have to worry about it and I can just enjoy myself. Be careful though, sometimes in your zeal to make her cum first you can rush through that first orgasm like you are trying to get a project done before lunsh time.

Not that I've ever done that, of course.

 

[devils_daughter]

If she has a strong hymen then sorry hun, be prepared for tears! It can range from kinda uncomfortable to searingly goddamn agony (unfortunatly I was the latter). If its really hurting her, try giving her a drink, it'll numb the pain a little but don't get her drunk! If she finds it painful, her on top may be a really bad idea. you on top (so long as you're VERY gentle) might be easier. As others have said, as you are both virgins you have nothing to worry about when it comes to her thinking you're bad, put it this way, my first was horrific but as I had nothing to compare him too I thought he was great at the time . At the end of the day, just reassure her you love her and be gentle, the rest should come naturally.