Anal

[MorgaineLaFay]

This is the best anal thread EVER.



The gayness hormone swims inside a little pouch just underneath the sphincter. So when your ass falls out, you're no longer gay.

Go find him a woman, STAT!

I'm haning on to my best gay friend then. He loves me. Sooner or later, he'll want me for sure.

 

[Dionysian Beast]

Are we still talking about anal?

 

[Freya]

I'm haning on to my best gay friend then. He loves me. Sooner or later, he'll want me for sure.

Oh for sure. If he's sexually active at all, his ass will be sure to fall out in no time.

Then you can just swoop in and take him.

 

[hogjack]

Not in the ass, I hope. Have you heard about the dangers.

Don't be a Freya!

I haven't been banged from behind since I got drunk at a party the night before a Wizard of Oz Fan Convention in '97. I made a "deal" after some shrewd negotiations.

Hey, it was a fair trade. Those ruby slippers look great in my den.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Oh for sure. If he's sexually active at all, his ass will be sure to fall out in no time.

Then you can just swoop in and take him.

Man, (no pun) if he only knew I was waiting for his ass to fall out.

Fucking soulmates I tell ya.


























;-

 

[JadeEyes]

Probably the cat chasing the gerbil.

LOL.......Lemmiwinks!

 

[niteshade]

I wanna know if the gerbil had ass cancer...cause that's pertinent.

This was the funniest thing I read all night! roflmao.

 

[John Doe]

Did or will anypone set her straight on all this joking around you guys have done? I'm not sure about the rectal cancer thing (I would imagine it's kinda rare at least), but it doesn't have to be real messy (or smelly) or painful if you do it right.

 

[revelator]

If I can stop laughing long enough to get a shower, I'm gonna call Bernic Mac and Ced.

Damn, you people need an agent and an HBO special.

 

[niteshade]

Did or will anypone set her straight on all this joking around you guys have done? I'm not sure about the rectal cancer thing (I would imagine it's kinda rare at least), but it doesn't have to be real messy (or smelly) or painful if you do it right.

I posted a fairly long and instructional reply a fairly early in this laugh fest, and someone else posted some educational links. Whether she read them or not, who knows?

 

[Vilac]

We're all going to hell.

Vilac's driving the bus.

But...but...I don't have my CDL! Just a driving permit!

Buckle up. Err...nevermind. No seatbelts on a bus.

 

[Vilac]

-chuckle-


Iadore these women.

<suddenly feeling like swiss cheese or chopped liver over here>

 

[SimplySouthern]

This was, by far, the most fun I've ever had in an evening with all my clothes on.

And to think, I owe it all to anal sexification and Freya's ass.

 

[Guest]

Ok. Let's cut the crap.

It's painful if you and your partner allow it to be.

NO. You cannot develop cancer from anal sex. That's a myth.

Incontinence is totally avoidable even under most of the extreme conditions that some people choose to enguage in.

The odor issue: What the hell did someone do wrong to make that an issue?!?

Anal sex takes time to get used to, especially if you're with someone who is as inexperienced and ignorant to the facts as you are.

Anal sex can cause orgasms that can be far more intense and very different for the man and woman doing it, if you take the time to do some incredibly important things, like get educated about it.

Good or great anal sex starts with one extremely important thing: your mentality about it. Your mentality about it totally depends on how educated you are about it. How educated you are about it depends on who you're going to listen to about the subject.

This is one of those pleasures in life that if you go into it ignorant you will always be ignorant about it.

Some pleasures are simple to obtain. How simple this one is depends on how simple you want to make it, period.

 

[SimplySouthern]

Ok. Let's cut the crap.

But....but....why? We were having so much fun.

You know, if you don't laugh lot you can get brain cancer. *nodnod*

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I think the best policy is just to remember at all times:

SEX = DEATH

 

[Guest]

But....but....why? We were having so much fun.

You know, if you don't laugh lot you can get brain cancer. *nodnod*

HA! Now that one I'd probably believe.

I didn't want to be "the heavy," but with all the mistruths about this subject that were in this thread, in jest or otherwise, I just wanted to make sure a few more actual facts got interjected.

If I brought the thread down I do apologize.

 

[Guest]

I think the best policy is just to remember at all times:

SEX = DEATH

Still a virgin, huh?

 

[SimplySouthern]

I think the best policy is just to remember at all times:

SEX = DEATH

Not if you just do it the way God intended.

You never heard of anyone getting plain ol' "pussy cancer" and I've never seen a guy with "cock cancer" unless he had in someone else's browneye and then it makes it "ass cancer of the cock" so really that doesn't count.

Now there's AIDS to worry about also....so yeah, you're right. Let's just all stick to masturbation, shall we?

Wait, what about hand cancer? Perhaps hairy palms are a symptom and not a sign from God that you're flogging the log too much? Dammit!

 

[Guest]

Not if you just do it the way God intended.

You never heard of anyone getting plain ol' "pussy cancer" and I've never seen a guy with "cock cancer" unless he had in someone else's browneye and then it makes it "ass cancer of the cock" so really that doesn't count.

Now there's AIDS to worry about also....so yeah, you're right. Let's just all stick to masturbation, shall we?

Wait, what about hand cancer? Perhaps hairy palms are a symptom and not a sign from God that you're flogging the log too much? Dammit!

Does this mean that we can get eyeball cancer from watching sex???

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Not if you just do it the way God intended.

That's called "procreation" - a different thing entirely!

 

[zipman]

I simply can't believe you people.

Not a single one of you mentioned OPBU (optical pressure build up).

During anal sex, air is often forced up the rectum by the repeated thrusting, especially if the penis (or other object) is completely withdrawn and then thrust back into the anus.

This air builds up and can cause severe pressure behind the eyes which can lead to blindness. However, this danger can be averted through the use of OPDT (optical pressure reduction techniques) by stretching the eye socket so the air can escape.

Note: escaping air may be quite pungent due to it being ass-air.

http://www.geocities.co.jp/Athlete-Athene/6731/photo/the_big-eyes.jpg

 

[Guest]

I simply can't believe you people.


Not a single one of you mentioned OPBU (optical pressure build up).

During anal sex, air is often forced up the rectum by the repeated thrusting, especially if the penis (or other object) is completely withdrawn and then thrust back into the anus.

This air builds up and can cause severe pressure behind the eyes which can lead to blindness. However, this danger can be averted through the use of OPDT (optical pressure reduction techniques) by stretching the eye socket so the air can escape.

Note: escaping air may be quite pungent due to it being ass-air.



http://www.geocities.co.jp/Athlete-Athene/6731/photo/the_big-eyes.jpg

LOL

This was so cute it tickled.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Note: escaping air may be quite pungent due to it being ass-air.

And you do NOT want that pungent ass-air shooting out of your eyeballs. Trust me on this one.

 

[Vilac]

Ok. Let's cut the crap.

I hate you.

I hope you get ass-cancer.



Ok..not really, but you did ruin my fun.