An honest question: Have you ever lost your sex drive and then gotten it back?

[ohwhynot77]

This is an honest question. I haven't had any sex drive - at all - for a year now. I am on a low dose of an anti-depressant (and yes I am aware of the sexual side effects and that different drugs have different side effects. This Rx appears to be most effective at allowing me to feel better/more functional without being an emotional zombie.)

My question is I feel a-sexual, I feel "null" and "void." I feel about as sexually charged as a wet wool blanket.

Has anyone ever experienced this utter lack of desire/sexuality and then gotten their mojo back?

It's worth saying I'm in a completely sexless marriage (it has been many years), I am 35 and otherwise healthy and attractive. I have had a long-term extra-marital affair but I ended it because I felt this way - totally devoid.

Not looking for sympathy or harsh criticism ... I'm really just wondering if the spark ever comes back and if so what I can do? It may not re-ignite my marriage - I fear that ship has sailed - but I'd like to feel sexy/attractive/flirty ... "alive" again.
Thanks for listening to me.

 

[LadyVer]

A therapist may be helpful. Sounds like it's more emotional than physical. People aren't meant to be long term relationships they're not happy with. Period. Your mind is telling you you need to make changes.

 

[cumslut4u]

My sex drive only returned after I stopped taking the antidepressants, particularly Zoloft.

 

[principessa11]

Yes. In my case it was a combination of a lot of things - hormones being out of whack, having a baby and a young child had home, dealing some serious personal loss, etc., and it all just sort of snowballed, and I had no interest in sex at all.

I went back on hormonal birth control, changed some other medications around, talked to a counselor, and eventually, yes, it came back.

Sorry you're dealing with this.

 

[LadyVer]

PS. It is possible to get your sex drive back while on anti-depressants..

 

[sunandshadow]

I lost from a type of birth control pills that conflicted with my natural hormones, came back a few weeks after I switched to a different kind of pills. The experience freaked me the hell out - I kinda felt like I was invisible or separated from all the other people in the world by an invisible wall of water.

 

[Noor]

Yes, I wrote about getting it back, here.

At this point, I go up and down, I know its not gone for good.

 

[Litfanman_inGB]

I sure hope it comes back! I experienced this problem years ago when I took paxil and another before that. I often had problems performing which lead to frustration. It came back when I stopped taking them. Now though, I don't know what the hell the problem is. Well, it could be one or any number of problems combined. I had back surgery back in 2007 and there was mention of sexual problems as a potential side-effect.

Stress has been a huge factor as well, I find the whole act of sex a stressful ordeal. That's probably more to do with problems in my marriage though.

 

[monkeyman057]

Yes you can get it back. If you MUST be on the antidepressents you can try Welbutrin - the sexual side affects are greatly reduced and some women have even reported an increase in libido while on it.

My own drive has a bit of an ebb and a flow - I'll be turned on constantly for a few months at a time and then interest will wane for a few months, then it starts over. It's not like clockwork but I've come to know my body well enough to know when it's happening.

I would seriously consider getting off the meds though. I eventually had to get off of them because Welbutrin stopped working and everything else killed my libido which was just depressing me more.

Additionally - if your marriage is dead then that's going to have a huge impact on you - up to and including physiological problems like low libido. It takes a lot of emotional and mental fortitude to convince yourself that it's ok to stay with someone that no longer feels any affection towards you (or whom you no longer feel affection towards). That takes a lot out of you, though you may not realize just how much until you're not doing it anymore. Stress is a big libido killer - it's a hormone thing - and an unhappy marriage is about as stressful as it gets.

 

[LadyVer]

Additionally - if your marriage is dead then that's going to have a huge impact on you - up to and including physiological problems like low libido. It takes a lot of emotional and mental fortitude to convince yourself that it's ok to stay with someone that no longer feels any affection towards you (or whom you no longer feel affection towards). That takes a lot out of you, though you may not realize just how much until you're not doing it anymore. Stress is a big libido killer - it's a hormone thing - and an unhappy marriage is about as stressful as it gets.

Well said.

 

[HeyAll]

Try lifting weights, eating meat and vegetables, take vitamins and zinc, eat watermelons and celery, and raw nuts. A lot of people underestimate getting sunlight. Try sun bathing, it increases your testosterone levels.

I can't relate to the thread starters level, but I can understand it. For me, sometimes I feel flat one week, and then the following week I can't keep my hard-on down.

 

[Broken_Inside]

I have spent most of my adult life will little to no drive, I had given up all hope of ever knowing what it was like to have a healthy drive, over the last 3 months though I have changed some things, getting off medication was one of them and BAM! It was like a switch turned on and now the drive is almost uncontrollable. Part of the reason I have discovered literotica. So in my opinion I do believe you can get it back stronger than ever.