Advice wanted to do with girls

[Guest]

You've probably heard it all before.

I really fancy this girl (its been pretty obvious I 've been basically obsessed with her), but I don't think she feels the same way about me yet we are very good friends.

I don't want to lose her friendship but don't know whether to tell her how I feel, basically so she can reject me and my mind will finally realise nothing is going to happen and get on with life.

At the moment we are good friends but I get jealous when she talks to other men for long periods of time, my mind starts thinking of scenarios where she hates me and things like that, I just need a way to finally convince my mind that nothing is going to happen, but we stay friends.

Damn thats a long winded way of saying it, any ideas? Do I tell her and risk losing her friendship, or stay quiet?

 

[Laurel]

Ooh...that's a toughie! Any takers? I'd like to hear an answer to this one...

 

[Angel]

If she is really a true friend, you will be able to admit your feelings to her without weirding out the friendship.

Sure, if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, hanging out with her might be a tad awkward for a day or two but real friendship will get you both through that.

Of course that is assuming you won't hate her forever if she doesn't feel more than friendship for you.

Bottom line : You never know til you try.

 

[Mischka]

I see three possible scenarios:

1. You tell her of your attracttion and she is mutually interested. You start dating.

2. You tell her and she is not interested. You remain friends for a while, but seeing her go on to date other men will eat you up inside and the friendship will eventually disintegrate.

3. You don't tell her. See the second part of scenario 2 for the end result.

So my advice - you are going to lose the friendship more likely than not, so you might as well go for it and try for the best scenario. You have been too attracted to her for too long for you to remain platonic friends, especially if you are already resorting to using words like "obession" and "jealousy."

 

[lobito]

I don't think you're jealous, I think you're in love!

True if she says sorry not interested it could hurt you, so be prepared for the worst scenario, just in case. That way if she says yes you'll be elated I'm sure.

Do you really obsess with her? I mean in front of her? Do you think about her every freakin' moment of the day & night? Does she see how "jealous" you are when she talks to guys for a long time? Does it seem to make her talk longer? Like she is teasing you?

Think about those questions, and answer if you can, then we perhaps can give you a better answer.

 

[sexy-girl]

angels av changed right before my eyes


hehe but getting back to the thread ... tell her how you feel you will know best how since shes your friend ... but you will feel bad if you dont tell her how you feel and she starts to see someone seriously ... also if she does say she doesnt feel the same way at least you can "move" on and your obsession with her will ease once you know you cant be with her ... its a win win situation if you ask ... go for it and be confident

 

[Debbie]

Honesty is (mostlyLOL) the best policy, and yes if she is a true friend she will listen and respect your feelings even if she doesn't feel the same way. We gals (ok some of us) sure do love a guy who is open and up front.And who knows she just might like you! Good luck

 

[Guest]

In reply to Lobito, yes I think about her all the time, I met her at University, and one weekend I was going home and really looking forward to it, yet once at home all I could think of was her, and thats what its been like since.

Whether she realises how jealous I get I don't know because I try to force myself not to show it. Though she does realise that I try to "protect" her when we go out to clubs and stuff, I don't mean protect her from other men, well unless there being wrong, just look out for her and make sure she gets home, that sort of stuff.

 

[YoungGun69]

You've probably heard it all before.

I really fancy this girl (its been pretty obvious I 've been basically obsessed with her), but I don't think she feels the same way about me yet we are very good friends.

I don't want to lose her friendship but don't know whether to tell her how I feel, basically so she can reject me and my mind will finally realise nothing is going to happen and get on with life.

At the moment we are good friends but I get jealous when she talks to other men for long periods of time, my mind starts thinking of scenarios where she hates me and things like that, I just need a way to finally convince my mind that nothing is going to happen, but we stay friends.

Damn thats a long winded way of saying it, any ideas? Do I tell her and risk losing her friendship, or stay quiet?

I lived thorugh that same situation and I say.....
Go for it. if yo dont it will eat you alive untill such a time as you actually act on it. While things between me and her did not work out we were able to know each other better and become better friends.

 

[lobito]

In reply to Lobito, yes I think about her all the time, I met her at University, and one weekend I was going home and really looking forward to it, yet once at home all I could think of was her, and thats what its been like since.

Whether she realises how jealous I get I don't know because I try to force myself not to show it. Though she does realise that I try to "protect" her when we go out to clubs and stuff, I don't mean protect her from other men, well unless there being wrong, just look out for her and make sure she gets home, that sort of stuff.

Well, no matter what women say, THEY have the power ALWAYS. I agree with most here, you won't know unless you try. (You can't win unless you play).

There's nothing wrong with "protecting" her, you are being a good friend in looking out for her best intrests in a way, and if she knows this, and doesn't say anything, then it's safe to assume that she loves what you are doing.

If she feels threatened by you, thinks what you are doing is not "normal" or warranted, then she'll probably tell you. You say she's in University with you? So she's in her early 20's if not late teens I'm guessing. I would hope she's not playing games with you if she knows you want her. It could also be that at her age, she doesn't want a commitment just yet.

ONLY she knows for sure, so do you have anything to lose by admitting it? If she says get out of my face freak, then it just wasn't meant to be, and you may be better off without her.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

It sounds to me that you should tell her of your interest - otherwise it is going to eat you up inside. She probably doesn't know of your interest, thinking you are just being nice, and if you don't tell her you are not going to get anywhere.

I know it is very hard - I am a very shy guy, but to repeat a trite phrase, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

STG

 

[ohiobbw]

I say go for it. I'm in the same situation with a guy. (Do what I say, not what I do!)

But go for it. Mischka has the right idea, it will probably bother you if you hold it in then she dates other guys. So just do!

 

[SweetNick]

I can relate. The scenario was the same for me a year ago. I sucked it up and told her exactly how I felt, and in turn heard, "Nick, don't you know you're not suppose to like your friends?" I was hurt for all of 3 days and then I laughed about it b/c really, if you can't like your friends, who can you like? We were awkward for a month or so without hanging out much, and then one day I just showed up and told her I wanted my friend back. We've been fine since.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I say go for boys instead.

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the answers/advice, its good advice and I understand your answers but it still doesn't make the decision any easier for me

Guess I have to make my own mind up.

Thanks

 

[Nathon_88]

Good Luck.

"Fair heart never won fair lady"

Sad but almost always true.

 

[YoungGun69]

Thanks for the answers/advice, its good advice and I understand your answers but it still doesn't make the decision any easier for me

Guess I have to make my own mind up.

Thanks

Its never easy to make the decision. You can listen to what other people say but you still have to decide for yourself.

Good luck and I hope you get the result you want.