A Question of love

[Rebellious_Sub]

I am not an inexperienced sub, but recently I have discovered that not only am I turned on and enjoy the ministrations of my Master, but I am completely in love with Master... *closes eyes, and hopes for the best of this thread, as I know the word or any variation of love. luvvve or whatever is usually not taken seriously... * But really, has anyone else experienced this?


Something that happened today has opened up a whole new level to our relationship, as after our session, he held me close and told me he loves me too... is this unusual, or is this a normal thing between Doms/subs? I know the trust level is and should be very high, so that both parties know exactly where they stand and so forth, but falling in love... hmm yeah, I think its happening for me... anyone else?

RS

 

[pandoravampire]

YES

I fell head over heels.

And suddenly realised, that NOT ONLY was i going to get some damn fine play sessions, i was going to get a LOVER. Wow, how romantic is that?

Enjoy

 

[Vixandra]

I'm the kind of person who could not call someone my own if I did not love them, at least in some way.

So, I can see falling love with one's submissive s/o and vice versa.

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

I agree that it seems well within the realm of possibility, and quite normal IMO, for you to fall for your Master. After all, as you said, you share a unique and deeply abiding trust and obviously you enjoy being in his presence.

I say good for you and wish you all the best!

 

[lne_iii]

Love's always got to be in the equation for me as well.

While I respect that everyone doesn't feel that way, I certainly don't understand it.

LNE

 

[catalina_francisco]

I would venture to say, most on this forum in a D/s relationship share some form of affection, often love. Love is something we all need in some form or another, those into BDSM are no different and it sure simplifies matters if the one you love and are loved by is the one you play with.

Catalina

 

[Let_it_come]

Thinking out loud...

One of my favourite things to say in bed is to ask my s/o to show me he loves me by hurting me. The more he hurts the more he loves.
I love to slowly stroke his cock in a really controlled way while he does... whatever... to me. I love guaging his reaction to his own cruelty by feeling his cock jerk in my hand.
It says LOVE much more to me than a bunch of flowers!
Jen.

 

[the captians wench]

I am absolutely head over heals bases loaded over the fence home run winning touch down in the last 30 seconds madly deeply in love with my Master. And I wouldn't' want it any other way

 

[John Doe]

Love is something we all need in some form or another,

No it isn't.

 

[catalina_francisco]

No it isn't.

Awww, come on babe, you know you're just begging for it.

Catalina

 

[anouk]

I don't think I could have given myself so completely to someone that didn't love me.

And if I would love my Daddy even more then I already do, I'm sure I would explode.

 

[Emma_Ray_Garrett]

Not to agree with Stupon, LOL, but intimate love isn't something I think we need. Okay, it's not something I need.

I won't bore you with the messy details, but I've never loved, i.e. been in love, with anyone. Ever. I've been in lust, in want, and I certainly have had deep affection for my lovers but I don't allow myself to 'fall in love'.

That said, and this is in no way sexual, the INSTANT and UNWAVERING love I had the moment I first felt my children stir in my womb was something that moved me to tears, each time. I'm not emotional so that says a lot. I LOVE but I don't fall in love.

Not that that makes any damn sense, LOL!

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

Thank you all for your help in this. I certainly have known that I was falling for Master, but I didn't really want to admit it for awhile. Perhaps thinking that love would make me vulnerable or something, and I didn't want to end up hurting I suppose.

Nothing worthwhile is going to come without risk though. So, *jumps in, throwing caution to the wind* I love Master... *smiles*

 

[waynerobertson]

Love?

Although new here I am not new to the scene.
In the past I met a woman CEO whose company was good size.
She needed to "give the reins" to me as a submissive and by doing so she was fulfilled in her particular kink. The closest she came to emotion was when she would cry in gratitude. I don't think she was capable of saying "I love you" to me.
The second woman, in her fulfillment by me, told me "I love you" and more. At one point she considered leaving her family but that soon passed. Personally, I think it was lust than love.
The ONLY thing I know about love is that it lasts in endurance, intensity and duration.
I sometimes think that when women are fulfilled through their kink that the "I love you" is actually "thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you."
For me it is rare to find that one woman who wants fulfillment but not at the price of her career, family and marriage who also possesses intelligence and sensuality.
(If you are one? Contact me, please.)

 

[catalina_francisco]

For me it is rare to find that one woman who wants fulfillment but not at the price of her career, family and marriage who also possesses intelligence and sensuality.
(If you are one? Contact me, please.)

Sorry, Im taken. BTW, why would she have to risk her mariage? Wouldn't it be better to look in the pool of unmarried women? Trust is a big issue, if they cheat on their husbands, chances are they might eventually do the same to you not to mention it does not display the best characteristics for trust and honesty to flourish.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I am not an inexperienced sub, but recently I have discovered that not only am I turned on and enjoy the ministrations of my Master, but I am completely in love with Master... *closes eyes, and hopes for the best of this thread, as I know the word or any variation of love. luvvve or whatever is usually not taken seriously... * But really, has anyone else experienced this?


Something that happened today has opened up a whole new level to our relationship, as after our session, he held me close and told me he loves me too... is this unusual, or is this a normal thing between Doms/subs? I know the trust level is and should be very high, so that both parties know exactly where they stand and so forth, but falling in love... hmm yeah, I think its happening for me... anyone else?

RS

I think romantic love is more the norm in D/s relationships than not. I have both types of relationships with different subs, some are based more strongly in service than romance and some more strongly in romance than service. I find less understanding and more assumptions around my relationship with my slave, with whom I'm not really romantically involved when I move in SM circles.

I will say that the service and D/s dynamic has *always* gotten more complicated, messy and rocky when you introduce romance.

The boat WILL be rocked.

But because I've been in stupid starry eyed love with the subs in question there and eventually in deep, abiding, accepting love with them, the bullshit that love incurs has been worth riding out.

Congratulations on finding your bliss.

 

[lne_iii]

To me, as with all things...

The body is just a vessel...a wrapper.

Some are prettier than others, yes...

But, the prize is on the inside.

If I don't know/love the inside of a person, their flesh is useless to me.

It's not the body that I wish to command, to love...to claim as my own.
But the person within...
The soul, if I may.

LNE

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

*tears* forget love....

.... disregard all I say concerning love. ...

 

[Shankara20]

.... disregard all I say concerning love. ...

oh my - sad - very sad


hugs

 

[coastal-boy]

.... disregard all I say concerning love. ...

never will I disregard love. sometimes the time is not right...sometimes it is not with the right person...but when I open my heart, I love with my soul because that is what I need back. Just because another cannot give back does not mean I loved less. If I did not believe, I would not still be searching. My sympathies for you during this time where you feel so alone.

D-

 

[hotblooded]

Rebellious...
I think your initial post was wonderful, but I'm not sure why you changed your mind about the love issue and why the tears? I envy your passion.
Your question, "have others in your position fallen in love with their Masters"....yes, absolutely!

Personally I feel that it's much easier for a sub to fall in love with their Master than vice-versa. It makes serving and pleasuring one's partner so much "hotter" and meaningful when you have stars in your eyes. On the other hand I also believe that because of the intensity of BDSM play that a "new" emotional level is reached, a level that has until now been foreign to many. If you choose to call this "love" than so be it, by all means revel in it, embrace it with every fibre in your body and hold on to it for all it's worth. Unfortunately for me I have usually confused love with lust...shrugs.(sounds like a male thing doesn't it?) Love endures, lust by itself, does not. Which can be more addictive I wonder?

I have often heard some Masters claim that their greatest mistake was falling on love with their sub. It did all kinds of bad things to their ability to Dominate with a clear head. They could no longer play with that former intensity, they became more concerned with "not hurting" their partners physically and they also developed a tendency to let their sub ride "rough-shod" over them (Topping from the bottom)
What I'm trying to say here is that love cannot help but change things... sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

Love can be painful......is painful.

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

I didn't change my mind... I still love Master, with all my heart... but Master told me that "Its a mistake.." and then proceeded to tell me that he loved me... for hours, then told me he can't love me... .... *is so confused, hurt.. and lost right now* ....

.... thats all...


sorry...

 

[chun_gong]

I didn't change my mind... I still love Master, with all my heart... but Master told me that "Its a mistake.." and then proceeded to tell me that he loved me... for hours, then told me he can't love me... .... *is so confused, hurt.. and lost right now* ....

.... thats all...


sorry...

WHOA... I'm having a hard time keeping my yap shut here. It's also difficult to keep this on topic and not turn it into an "emotional abuse" discussion, IMO. I'm sure that's been done here and all of the "elders" are groaning now.

RS, I'm sorry that you have gone through this and can see where you would be VERY confused...and HURT! Just don't ever be sorry. Make sure that you are in the right relationship for yourself. *tears*

Hotblooded - you make some very good points:
Who better to serve and pleasure than someone who is your Dom/me AND your love. It does, however, seem to put a lot more "at risk". (looking at a broken heart as a risk)

It makes serving and pleasuring one's partner so much "hotter" and meaningful when you have stars in your eyes.

Shouldn't a Dom/me be concerned with the physical well-being of their sub? I mean, physically, love shouldn't change the "play" in terms of making it weaker. (for lack of a better word) I wonder if romantic love could actually further open a trusting, in-synch level of exploration and play...

I have often heard some Masters claim that their greatest mistake was falling on love with their sub. It did all kinds of bad things to their ability to Dominate with a clear head. They could no longer play with that former intensity, they became more concerned with "not hurting" their partners physically and they also developed a tendency to let their sub ride "rough-shod" over them (Topping from the bottom)

I can certainly see how it could easier for a sub to top when romantic love is involved. (To me, that is defeatist...) The balance is a fine line and would require some serious work to maintain a complete D/s & romantic relationship. Guess it all depends on what each party needs for fulfillment.

I don't know! lol I think I have just talked myself in circles and have now confused myself. At least I'll have something to think about for quite some time!

j

 

[hotblooded]

Shouldn't a Dom/me be concerned with the physical well-being of their sub? I mean, physically, love shouldn't change the "play" in terms of making it weaker. (for lack of a better word) I wonder if romantic love could actually further open a trusting, in-synch level of exploration and play...I can certainly see how it could easier for a sub to top when romantic love is involved. (To me, that is defeatist...)

You're absolutley right there and I respect your comments. I meant only in those situations where the sub is begging for "more" and her Dom just can't give it for some vague emotional reason. I'm sure it happens sometime, somewhere, just as I'm sure it isn't the norm. I'm just throwing out some food for thought here. I believe in the circumstances that I mentioned earlier that the sub knew how the Dom felt about her and began manipulating him.

Somehow I got the vibe from rebellious' post that while in the throes of ecstacy she blurted out (kindly said) that "she loved him" (her Master) and he like many men responded in kind, without much thought to the meaning that these words might hold for her. Gawd do you know how many men cringe when they hear... I love you?

Rebellious..I think it's great that you have shared your feelings with us and I hope you will continue to do so. I hope I haven't sounded cold or callous in my posts..hug.

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

Hmm, well to be honest, I actually DID blurt out that I loved him during a session, about eight months ago, and he corrected me afterward with a "You may say 'thank you' do not tell me you love me during session."

From that point on, I did not say the dreaded phrase... although I felt every word of it.... ....and afraid that he would stop seeing me, kept it to myself. *sigh* what a good plan that turned out to be... Then, this week, he had changed, started becoming softer, not during sex, that remained hot, furious and as forceful as I like... but at other times, he would touch my face, gazing into my eyes... kiss my shoulder... just soft tender things. I finally broke down.. risked it all by confession and now.. apparently, I had it, and lost it all in one stroke.

No regrets. I know what love is.. I just don't think I will ever have it for myself. I should just accept that.

A mutual friend of ours has suggested that he believes this is all about him not being able to deal with "love" as if defining it has caused terrible consequences in his head... I don't know, at this point, my mind isn't comprehending much.

And I am not sure, most people here are aware that I do have clinical depression... and this.. entire situation is making my thoughts turn dark. I promise that if it continues to become... worse.. if I feel I will act on impulse, I will go to the hospital. Because, if nothing else, I have learned something from all this.. if I don't take care of myself, no one will.

I have never shared my feelings with total strangers this way before.. I do thank you all for all the support I am receiving. You are a nice group of people.. Thank you.

*hugs to all that need one*

Take care.

~RS