A question for the teasherc on the board

[SweetCherry]

A question for the teashers on the board

The other day, I went to a parent-teacher conference for my 5 year old daughter. I expected to hear the standard glowing report. I know she's a good student. I know she's bright and kind and an all-around good kid. Well, I got more than I bargained for.

I was informed by her teacher that she is a "gifted child". She's at the top of her class. She's far surpassed her classmates. Mrs. M, my child's teacher said that before long, she'll be having to work one-on-one with her, because she's that much ahead of her reading group. She's not showing boredom yet, tho, even being as far ahead of everyone else. Neither does she seem to "lord it over" anyone else, or think she's better.

My question is this: How do I encourage her and make her see her potential as she grows? Also, how do I prevent the standard "boredom" issues that grab a lot of the "gifted" or "highly bright" children that causes them to sometimes start failing due to lack of attention? Is there anything I can do at home with her to help stimulate her in her off-time from school, and yet not cause school boredom to set in?

I already do things like have her read to me, to her brother, and she reads to her dolls. I'm not talking about "See Spot run" linds of books here, tho she does read those. She was reading a book the other day that's geared more towards kids in 2nd or 3rd grade. It was a Disney Atlas-type of book relating to Russia, talking about Moscow and the Red Square. Granted, it's in terms for a child to understand, but it's still not something you'd expect a child in Kindergarten to read.

And yes, I'm very proud of her. I let her know this. I also let her know that I'm not expecting her to be perfect. I want to encourage her to meet her full potential, not to push her to be something she's not ready or wanting to be.

I'd appreciate any comments of hints I can get right now. Thanx in advance!

 

[riff]

Keep her challenged. Keep her stimulated.

Don't pressure her, don't let the school counselors fuck with her.

Let her be a smart little girl so she can grow up to be a smart woman.

If you don't, you'll regret it.

Trust me. I know.

 

[erosman]

Just a suggestion, have her work with you on spelling.

 

[SweetCherry]

Just a suggestion, have her work with you on spelling.

Bah, it's not always my spelling that's the problem. It's my typing and the fact I can't see the keyboard worth a shit.

 

[erosman]

just joking....

Balance. I'm not a teasherc per se, but I definitely think that balance is most important, and balance for each of us means something different. Help her find her own balance.

 

[NoRegrets]

A tough call

I was bored and should have been pushed but nothing is true of all kids. It can be difficult being the youngest and a less mature kid through school. I would look at the first grade class and try do decide if she could fit in with them for next year.

Skipping a grade might be the answer but it gets tougher the older the child. If appropriate, try to do it now by working with her over the summer to be ready for second grade.

This is always a tough call, best of luck!!!


.

 

[SweetCherry]

interesting input, guys. On those ideas, I'd like to add that I do let her be "a little girl", tho there are times when she does have to do things that a standard child her age might not have to. She learned her numbers early. It's come in handy when it's time to read the back of a box on cooking directions for bake time and temp. She also would tell me the numbers on bills so I knew how much the heating bill was for the month. With my poor vision, she's gotten used to the "Mama needs a bit of help seeing this" routine.

So far, there have been no school councelors in her life. I'm trying to keep her happy and healthy, physically and emotionally. Mind you, she's excelling in school while her father and I are starting divorce procedings. We are splitting as friends, so there's noo bitterness or pettiness going on in front of the kids.

I'm actually entertaining the thought of starting to teach her something she wouldn't commonly learn at school, just to give her something to do in her spare time. She only has homework one day a week, so she has plenty of "down time". I just haven't figured out what it should be yet.

 

[MunchinMark]

Why not?

Go ahead and teach your daughter new things. Try out different topics and see what keeps her interest. Whenever you can, take her to different places. Museums, parks, train stations. She will pick up so much, without it cramping her schooldays.

Physics is a good one. There are all kinds of experiments you can set up at home.

My father taught me about the classics (you know, Greek and Roman mythology), which never ever got taught in school.

 

[Guest]

I would also suggest you make sure she well agjusted socially. I have seen so many children who are very intelligent but are socially maladjusted. Usually it is their parents fault because they push them so much. You can be the smartest kid in the world, but if you don't have the social skills, you won't survive.

 

[It'sasecret]

Hey that was me. I don't know how that happened!

 

[morninggirl5]

SweetCherry,

Let her guide what you do for her. If she's interested in animation, then help her find all the stuff she can on animation and go as far as she wants to.

Boredom at school might be an issue, but only if you let it become an issue. Skipping a grade doesn't happen that often anymore, basically because of the social/emotional issues, so prepare her for handling her own downtime. Let her know now, that if she's finished with something and doesn't have other assignments that reading a book is fine. As long as she's not causing a disruption, most teachers aren't going to ever have a problem with that.

Since she's still in Kindergarten, she's probably still learning to fit in and adjust to the social situation. Kids her age love to help each other, she's probably reading to her classmates. Talk to her and find out how she feels about the group situation, does she notice the things others in her class do well. Help her see that everyone has talents and this is hers.

Kids this age are like little sponges, let her absorb as much as she wants/needs, and then let the little girl play and enjoy life.


mg

 

[SweetCherry]

Again, I thank you all for your input. I agree with her NOT skipping a grade down the road. Her emotional and social development might be seriously hindered, seeing as she's already one of the youngest in the class. She's a well-rounded girl right now. She does all the normal things a child her age does. She' has sleep overs and plays dress up and beats on her brother and tries to get him into trouble. So I doubt there's going to be a problem there at all.

I also encourage her to try new things. She did a bit of dancing a few months ago when the school offered a camp with the dance line girls. She also just finished a stint in the elementary wrestling program that the school offfered. She's enjoyed them both, tho the dancing was much more fun for her towards the end.

She is a little sponge, but always has been. This is a girl who was talking in short sentances at 15 months. At 18 months, she could count to 7. By 2, she could sing her ABC's. When going for preschool screening, she missed only 3 of the 60 questions. At her age, she only needed to get 30 of them. So this is nothing new for her.

As far as museums and such, I've taken her to a couple when the opportunity has arisen with school trips. I'm not able to drive, and there's not a museum in our area. She does spend quite a bit of time with her educational toys and playing games online, like at the Playhouse Disney website or Nickelodeon Nick Jr. website. She's also got a LOT of educational games I've boughten her.

She sees a lot of different things when I surf with her. I show her pictured of different places, and tell her what I can about it. She watches a lot of the Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel or the Learning Channel. It's not very often that they watch anything but those stations at nite. She remembers things that I have long since forgotten.

I know she does wonderfully from the stimulation. She's learning rapidly, and I can only hope that she keeps it up. I don't piush her, really. I only ask her to always try her best in all she does. Just that old adage, I guess. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. I want the best for both my children, and I know that she's got a wonderful opportunity ahead of her. I can only hope she learns to see and appreciate her dift.

:_

 

[It'sasecret]

I am sure you already know this too but... Be sure to treat your other children the same. I have seen and know from experince what it is like to be the "other, less intelligent child". Let all your children know they have something special to offer. Being smarter does not mean being better.

 

[kiwiwolf]

I'm actually entertaining the thought of starting to teach her something she wouldn't commonly learn at school, just to give her something to do in her spare time. She only has homework one day a week, so she has plenty of "down time". I just haven't figured out what it should be yet.

This is your key Sweet Cherry. I have a kid in the same situation. He is reading at a 17+ age level and he is only 9. He does maths 4 years ahead of the rest of his class. He does suffer from a short attention span when at school and is slightly socially retarded because of the pressures crated by his segregation. Aside from that he is a normal happy healthy kid.

I started buying him books on dinosaurs a couple of years back as a sort of balance between what he was getting at school and what he craved. Having this outside interest has smoothed things out at school quite a bit and he is now overcoming the social problems he had.

 

[SweetCherry]

I am sure you already know this too but... Be sure to treat your other children the same. I have seen and know from experince what it is like to be the "other, less intelligent child". Let all your children know they have something special to offer. Being smarter does not mean being better.

I agree whole heartedly. I make them both understand that they are special to me in different ways and that I love them both equally. My son will always be "my little monkey" and my daughter is "my princess".. I tell them both all the time that I don't care how well they do in anything, so long as they try their best. My son gets as much praise for writing the first letter of his name and drawing me a stick person as my daughter does for writing her entire name, a note of what she's drawn and the picture that goes along with it. I always tell them both how special they are to me, and that they are always loved. I cant think of anything more important than their physical and emotional well-being. I'll never make my son feel less if he doesn't advance at the same rate or to the same place as his sister is. Personally, even if he is at the bottom of his class, I'll still love him and encourage him as much as I do my daughter.

 

[seXieleXie]

i don't know much about your situation SC, so i don't know that my advice will be of much help. i used to work at a tutoring centre (it actually started in england ) that double as a place gifted kids could come to explore academics beyond the classroom. there was a lot of one-on-one attention and it let the kids spend time with others who were working on the same level (eg. a bright kindergartener, a normal first grader and a second grader who needed a little extra help might all be on the same work level and would sit at the same table). it wasn't a cheap program though, and i don't know what is available in your area, but it's something to think about.

letting her lead the way is a good idea. since she's a sponge that will mean she'll lead you all over the place. encourage her interests and watch for what she find especially interesting. computer games and puzzel books and the like are all great ideas.

 

[riff]

This is your key Sweet Cherry. I have a kid in the same situation. He is reading at a 17+ age level and he is only 9. He does maths 4 years ahead of the rest of his class. He does suffer from a short attention span when at school and is slightly socially retarded because of the pressures crated by his segregation. Aside from that he is a normal happy healthy kid.

I started buying him books on dinosaurs a couple of years back as a sort of balance between what he was getting at school and what he craved. Having this outside interest has smoothed things out at school quite a bit and he is now overcoming the social problems he had.

You really are a teacher!!

 

[SweetCherry]

This is your key Sweet Cherry. I have a kid in the same situation. He is reading at a 17+ age level and he is only 9. He does maths 4 years ahead of the rest of his class. He does suffer from a short attention span when at school and is slightly socially retarded because of the pressures crated by his segregation. Aside from that he is a normal happy healthy kid.

I started buying him books on dinosaurs a couple of years back as a sort of balance between what he was getting at school and what he craved. Having this outside interest has smoothed things out at school quite a bit and he is now overcoming the social problems he had.

Wolfie, you re a wonderful dad, you know that?

I've been entertaining maybe teaching her a foreign language and learning alongside of her. I took Spanish in high school and have a basic understanding of it, so that was an option. Another thought was Braille, since I know it already and have the books to help her with it. It may come in handy someday if her vision does what mine is.

 

[Weird Harold]

Kids her age love to help each other, she's probably reading to her classmates. Talk to her and find out how she feels about the group situation, does she notice the things others in her class do well. Help her see that everyone has talents and this is hers.

My elder Granddaughter is much like SC's Daughter. One thing she has had to deal with, is classmates taking advantage of her willingness to help. Things finally settled down when she told one of her classmates, "I can't help you right now. I have work of my own to do."

My granddaughter has had to learn the difference between "helping them" and "Doing it for them." If she keeps on as sh has begun, she mmay have a promising future as a teacher.

(PS: SC You have an e-mail.)

 

[morninggirl5]

My elder Granddaughter is much like SC's Daughter. One thing she has had to deal with, is classmates taking advantage of her willingness to help. Things finally settled down when she told one of her classmates, "I can't help you right now. I have work of my own to do."

My granddaughter has had to learn the difference between "helping them" and "Doing it for them." If she keeps on as sh has begun, she mmay have a promising future as a teacher.

(PS: SC You have an e-mail.)

WH, learning the difference between "helping" and "doing it for them" is one of the hardest things for young children. My rule for helpers is, you can only say yes or no. And i ask the helpee to explain what they did before i accept the work.

There's a pyramid of retention that shows how much of something you retain based on how you interacted with the information. Teaching it to someone else gives you the best shot of retaining it, 90%. On the other hand, listening to a lecture about the topic leads to only 5% retention.

 

[Draco]

SweetCherry, a few edits need to be done on your posts, nothing major. Just change every instance of "my daughter" to "our daughter" and every instance of "my son" to "our son". Thank you. I bet your just beaming with pride at both their progress, I know how much you value "our" kids and how well they do in everything. Lots of Love Draco.

 

[Ladyhawke]

If your daughter has a good teacher this year you may want to see if they can recommend that she be with a certain teacher next year as some teacher work better with gifted students. A good teacher makes all the difference. My daughter had a teacher last year in kindergarten that wasn't able to keep her challenged and she began having some behavior problems. This year her teacher is wonderful and said she'd reccomend a teacher for her next year. Unfortunately we will be moving this summer, but I intend to let them know the situation and hopefully she will get another good teacher.

 

[SweetCherry]

SweetCherry, a few edits need to be done on your posts, nothing major. Just change every instance of "my daughter" to "our daughter" and every instance of "my son" to "our son". Thank you. I bet your just beaming with pride at both their progress, I know how much you value "our" kids and how well they do in everything. Lots of Love Draco.

Draco, you know when I'm proud of them they are "mine". When I'm exasperated with them, they are yours. When it's an ordinary day, they can be ours.

Tho I know you're as proud of our little demons as I am.

Ladyhawke, her teacher has told me that one of the 3 1st grade teachers will be retiring at the end of this year, so there's going to be 2 pros and one newbie. The two pros, she's said, are both wonderful teachers and she would recommend either. She's not sure how the other teacher does yet, since she's never seen her in action.

WH, thank you for your info and for the email addy you gave me. That was a wonderful asset. Your help and advice was greatly appreciated.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Your a Kiwi aren't you SweetCherry? I don't know the law there. So I don't know if our law would apply.

However, if your child is officially labeled as gifted in the USA that puts your child in the same grouping as kids in wheelchairs, low IQ, etc. Your child must receive "special" help.

If the school needs to provide advanced tutors, or buy additional materials to teach your child, they have to do it, or you can sue the school district. Just like if you child in the wheelchair needs an elevator to get to the second floor. The school must provide what is needed to teach your special student.

Most people don't know that it is a federal law in the United States that gifted students are part of this program. Of course not, no one tells them, it costs money. MONEY.

Check the law out in your country, I bet it is similar. Then get your school to do the necessary testing to have your child labeled as gifted and or talented.

Sorry I didn't reply right at first, I didn't because I thought you lived in way down there on the other side of the world. Then I thought what the hell, maybe it will help. If nothing else, it might help parents of gifted students in the USA.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Your a Kiwi aren't you SweetCherry? I don't know the law there. So I don't know if our law would apply.

However, if your child is officially labeled as gifted in the USA that puts your child in the same grouping as kids in wheelchairs, low IQ, etc. Your child must receive "special" help.

If the school needs to provide advanced tutors, or buy additional materials to teach your child, they have to do it, or you can sue the school district. Just like if you child in the wheelchair needs an elevator to get to the second floor. The school must provide what is needed to teach your special student.

Most people don't know that it is a federal law in the United States that gifted students are part of this program. Of course not, no one tells them, it costs money. MONEY.

Check the law out in your country, I bet it is similar. Then get your school to do the necessary testing to have your child labeled as gifted and or talented.

Sorry I didn't reply right at first, I didn't because I thought you lived in way down there on the other side of the world. Then I thought what the hell, maybe it will help. If nothing else, it might help parents of gifted students in the USA.

That's a good point, teach. The 'gifted' program in the US is lumped in with special ed. This can be both a blessing and a curse.

I was labeled 'gifted' in 1st grade. I was already reading at a 9th grade level, and by second grade, I was reading at a college level. I was enrolled in the gifted program, and there were some really good things going on, special summer camps where science and creativity were strongly encouraged, field trips to museums and historical sites, etc.

The downside is, I was removed from class for a lot of these things. Because the district had labeled me, the other students used it against me. I was chastised by teachers for reading ahead in books, i was sent to the 6th grade classroom for reading, spelling and english from 2nd grade on. (NOT a good social or emotional place for a 7 year old)

The biggest problem though, was in middle school when I tried to get out of the program for various reasons. Because the schools receive funding based on the # of kids in special ed, it's nearly impossible to get out once you're in.

Granted, that worked to my advantage in high school when the principal threatened to kick me out of school for cutting class. When I explained to him that he'd be losing a special ed student, and therefore funding, he never mentioned my absences again.