A question for the Dommes

[RJMasters]

It has been said a number times about women having rape fantasies...and I wondered if that was true in the case of dominant women.

My guess would be that any rape fantiasies would involve you doing the raping and not being raped but I don't know so I am asking.

 

[LittleJade]

It has been said a number times about women having rape fantasies...and I wondered if that was true in the case of dominant women.

My guess would be that any rape fantiasies would involve you doing the raping and not being raped but I don't know so I am asking.

I'm switch, so I don't know that my input holds as much weight as those who enjoy only the Top side... but rape fantasies that I have, include me being raped... taken forcefully... for me, there are two reasons behind rape fantasies... or two emotional sets.

The first, is that I am in the submissive role- giving in, holding still, and crying while it happens, but not fighting.

The second, is that I am fighting, trying to assert my control in the name of self-preservation, and I get smacked around until he's finished... the second is the dominant side of me having a rape fantasy... and being conquered... completely against my will.

It's kinda hot.

 

[Netzach]

Neither version is very frequent for me, other things are on much heavier rotation. When I fantasize about raping it's a man and I tend to get stuck on the abduction portion of things rather than the fucking him against his will portion of things. I'm trying to think if I've ever fantasized about anything more against my will than being pinned down and done by someone I do particularly like a lot and I can't say I have. My Bull does have the key to my house and talking about the element of surprised, the element of perpetual access - ravishment - hot.

Suddenly sending someone I've never met before to come and fuck me and me not knowing who or what it's about - rape - does nothing for me.

I have a hunch this distaste has something to do with one's sense of control, no?

 

[RJMasters]

I have a hunch this distaste has something to do with one's sense of control, no?

Nods. Which is why I asked the question specifically to Dommes. I am curious if they share the whole rape fantasy that is often toted about being shared by all women. My hunch is, because rape is about control, Dommes having these type of fantasies where they are overpowered against their will by a man and used sexually is not up there on the top of their list.

Like if you asked a 100 Dommes and then asked 100 non Dommes, I wonder what degree of Dommes would actualy say realistically they have these types of fantasies. I dunno why...I am just curious. I have a hunch that the numbers would be kinda of low for the 100 Dommes and moderately high for the other group.

 

[RJMasters]

I'm switch, so I don't know that my input holds as much weight as those who enjoy only the Top side... but rape fantasies that I have, include me being raped... taken forcefully... for me, there are two reasons behind rape fantasies... or two emotional sets.

The first, is that I am in the submissive role- giving in, holding still, and crying while it happens, but not fighting.

The second, is that I am fighting, trying to assert my control in the name of self-preservation, and I get smacked around until he's finished... the second is the dominant side of me having a rape fantasy... and being conquered... completely against my will.

It's kinda hot.

Thank you for your input. I think the switch in you sort of taints what it is I am asking, though I appreciate what you contributed as it is interesting to learn the switch's pov as well.

 

[Netzach]

Nods. Which is why I asked the question specifically to Dommes. I am curious if they share the whole rape fantasy that is often toted about being shared by all women. My hunch is, because rape is about control, Dommes having these type of fantasies where they are overpowered against their will by a man and used sexually is not up there on the top of their list.

Like if you asked a 100 Dommes and then asked 100 non Dommes, I wonder what degree of Dommes would actualy say realistically they have these types of fantasies. I dunno why...I am just curious. I have a hunch that the numbers would be kinda of low for the 100 Dommes and moderately high for the other group.

I do think that most probably do have them at times, though. Also keep in mind that humans are weird, and express their desires in both clear obvious ways (submissive fantasizes about being taken, enacts it with his/her Dom) and in inverted ways (Dominant fantasizes about being taken, finds someone to enact that on so she/he can vicariously identify with that person)

I don't think a lot of the humilation and pain stuff I do would have as much of a charge as it does for me if there wasn't a sense of affiliation, if that makes any sense at all. Kind of like "I don't have the energy or strong enough sub drive to actually go have someone do this to me myself, but I totally get why you love it so much, you little slut"

 

[BiBunny]

Er, well, I'm a switch, but I stay exclusively on the Top side nowadays. Take my opinion for what it's worth.

I have this fantasy on both ends of the spectrum, and I have lived it out on the submissive side. I do have this fantasy about raping a big, strong man and reducing him to puddle of whimpering, trembling goo. The recurrent theme of the fantasy is that while I'm taking this man against his will to begin with, somewhere along the line, his tune changes. He goes from me begging me to stop to begging me not to stop. An ego-stroking kind of thing, I suppose.

 

[RJMasters]

I do think that most probably do have them at times, though. Also keep in mind that humans are weird, and express their desires in both clear obvious ways (submissive fantasizes about being taken, enacts it with his/her Dom) and in inverted ways (Dominant fantasizes about being taken, finds someone to enact that on so she/he can vicariously identify with that person)

I don't think a lot of the humilation and pain stuff I do would have as much of a charge as it does for me if there wasn't a sense of affiliation, if that makes any sense at all. Kind of like "I don't have the energy or strong enough sub drive to actually go have someone do this to me myself, but I totally get why you love it so much, you little slut"

Ok this is going to sound a bit confusing...let's see if I can say it and you get it.

Are you saying, that the inverse...dominant fantasizing about being taken....is in part a spin off of the identification that takes place through the dominant getting off on knowing what the submissive might be experiencing at their hand? Thus through this identification might also then have such fantasies?

 

[RJMasters]

Er, well, I'm a switch, but I stay exclusively on the Top side nowadays. Take my opinion for what it's worth.

I have this fantasy on both ends of the spectrum, and I have lived it out on the submissive side. I do have this fantasy about raping a big, strong man and reducing him to puddle of whimpering, trembling goo. The recurrent theme of the fantasy is that while I'm taking this man against his will to begin with, somewhere along the line, his tune changes. He goes from me begging me to stop to begging me not to stop. An ego-stroking kind of thing, I suppose.

Thank you BiBunny.

I take it from other posts that your scenero where at first there is resistance that then turns to wanting more is also in part how you like to play. If I remember correctly, when a Top is taking you, them having to overcome you a bit makes the play much hotter and more exciting for you. If that is true, I can see how you also would fantasize about taking a man at first against his will, and then have that turn to him wanting more. Make sense to me.

 

[BiBunny]

Thank you BiBunny.

I take it from other posts that your scenero where at first there is resistance that then turns to wanting more is also in part how you like to play. If I remember correctly, when a Top is taking you, them having to overcome you a bit makes the play much hotter and more exciting for you. If that is true, I can see how you also would fantasize about taking a man at first against his will, and then have that turn to him wanting more. Make sense to me.

^^^^

Yes, that's it exactly.

 

[DeservingBitch]

The rape fantasy/scene does nothing for me, both as a bottom and as a top. Actually, it's one of those thing that is a big turn off for me.

But that has probably a lot to do with my personal history: i've worked a lot with survivor of abuse/rape, and one of my sibling has been raped. So yeah - rape is a little bit too close to my reality for me to be able to eroticize it.

BUT, I did once indulge a partner is something that was related to a rape scene. She had shared with me that one of her fantasies was to re-play her 'first time'. Her real first time had been somewhat abusive. By replaying it in a scene, re-writting the script along the way, she wanted to 'take it back', reappropriate the moment and make it a positive experience. So, one night, we did role-play it - something along the lines of Mommy/little girl thing. I was a little uneasy about it at first, but seeing as how she was enjoying herself, I eventually got into it, and we ended up having a really hot sex night.

 

[Netzach]

I wonder if Dominant men, questioned, in all candor would or would not have similiar percentages of "being overpowered or overtaken" or rape fantasies or whatever.

I'm guessing it's more common than anyone will cop to. Human imagination's pretty rangy. It's just more ok for me socially to go there, mentally at any rate.

The percentages of men of a certain age I've spoken to, even self-described D's who showed a fascination with "The truth lasso" of Wonder Woman, is something to behold. Quite.

 

[JMohegan]

I wonder if Dominant men, questioned, in all candor would or would not have similiar percentages of "being overpowered or overtaken" or rape fantasies or whatever.

I'm guessing it's more common than anyone will cop to. Human imagination's pretty rangy. It's just more ok for me socially to go there, mentally at any rate.

The percentages of men of a certain age I've spoken to, even self-described D's who showed a fascination with "The truth lasso" of Wonder Woman, is something to behold. Quite.

This won't be a very PC answer, but it's the only honest one I've got.

For those with a certain baseline amount of testosterone, aggressive rape fantasies come with the territory in most cases.

A subset of the above group would be men with anger-based, borderline misogynistic, aggressive rape fantasies.

However, there are guys who fantasize about the other side of the coin, testosterone notwithstanding. And the ones who have admitted as much to me all spoke about intense sexual frustration throughout their teen & adult lives. Frustration stemming either from their inability to get laid as often as they'd like (or at all), or from their inability to mate with women they find attractive. So Jolie hunts them down and overpowers them, confirming that they really *are* sexually attractive, despite the absence of the more successful charm-them-and-seduce-them requisite male skills.

 

[Homburg]

The percentages of men of a certain age I've spoken to, even self-described D's who showed a fascination with "The truth lasso" of Wonder Woman, is something to behold. Quite.

Wonder Woman was all about some D/s. Papers have been written on it, books, and a documentary or two. Good stuff.

Can't say that I have any rape fantasies. I can say that I know of a female Dom or two that has caused me to wonder and ponder. There's some powerful imagery there, regardless on one's orientation. In short, I'm comfortable enough with myself to admit that, yes, I see the appeal of that sort of fantasy. Not in a raped-with-a-strap-on sense, but more in the seduced and brought to heel by the primally powerful female. As I said, it presents a powerful image.

 

[Netzach]

This won't be a very PC answer, but it's the only honest one I've got.

For those with a certain baseline amount of testosterone, aggressive rape fantasies come with the territory in most cases.

'splains mine some I guess. I'm also an INTJ and femme ones run about 1% I'm told "my healthy dose of boy brain" I call it.

A subset of the above group would be men with anger-based, borderline misogynistic, aggressive rape fantasies.

However, there are guys who fantasize about the other side of the coin, testosterone notwithstanding. And the ones who have admitted as much to me all spoke about intense sexual frustration throughout their teen & adult lives. Frustration stemming either from their inability to get laid as often as they'd like (or at all), or from their inability to mate with women they find attractive. So Jolie hunts them down and overpowers them, confirming that they really *are* sexually attractive, despite the absence of the more successful charm-them-and-seduce-them requisite male skills.

This jives well with my notes. I would describe only a small percentage of people with the "I want to be raped by 19 anonymous dicks and be a party favor hole" people, male *or female* actually as really submissive pleaser personalities. It's really a good ol' dose of narcissism which happens to mesh with the venn diagram of my narcissism nicely.

 

[Netzach]

Wonder Woman was all about some D/s. Papers have been written on it, books, and a documentary or two. Good stuff.

Can't say that I have any rape fantasies. I can say that I know of a female Dom or two that has caused me to wonder and ponder. There's some powerful imagery there, regardless on one's orientation. In short, I'm comfortable enough with myself to admit that, yes, I see the appeal of that sort of fantasy. Not in a raped-with-a-strap-on sense, but more in the seduced and brought to heel by the primally powerful female. As I said, it presents a powerful image.

Dude, isn't sitting around and playing with oneself to things you'd never actually necessarily want to do one of life's little pleasures?

I think it is.

 

[Homburg]

Dude, isn't sitting around and playing with oneself to things you'd never actually necessarily want to do one of life's little pleasures?

I think it is.

*looks around for the hidden cameras*

 

[Netzach]

Ok this is going to sound a bit confusing...let's see if I can say it and you get it.

Are you saying, that the inverse...dominant fantasizing about being taken....is in part a spin off of the identification that takes place through the dominant getting off on knowing what the submissive might be experiencing at their hand? Thus through this identification might also then have such fantasies?

Could be like that too, it's maybe a chicken/egg thing. I've considered certain things hot only after doing them to someone else a lot, and considered others hot, but not really interested in actually submitting myself to them (physically I mean) so doing them to others works better.

 

[marieR19]

Well technically I'm a sub, but I'm responding anyways 'cause... well, you'll see.

Rape fantasies are, I think, the ONLY times that I think/feel like a dom. I do have fantasies of me being the one raped/play-raped, but it is often me doing the raping, the forcing, and it really gets me off. Seriously, I do NOT identify as a dom in any other way, but fantasizing about forcing someone like that realllly gets me going.


Heather

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Nother switchy type

It has been said a number times about women having rape fantasies...and I wondered if that was true in the case of dominant women.

My guess would be that any rape fantiasies would involve you doing the raping and not being raped but I don't know so I am asking.

I don't have rape fantasies ..or at least I don't have them from the point of view of a bottom. On the rare occasion when I entertain the thought..it is always with me as the top and always with men that have caused me some physical pain in the past. It is always brutal, violent and short and I never think about how they feel, either before, during or after. They are a hole, period.

*shrugs*

 

[RJMasters]

I don't have rape fantasies ..or at least I don't have them from the point of view of a bottom. On the rare occasion when I entertain the thought..it is always with me as the top and always with men that have caused me some physical pain in the past. It is always brutal, violent and short and I never think about how they feel, either before, during or after. They are a hole, period.

*shrugs*

Thank you.

 

[RJMasters]

The rape fantasy/scene does nothing for me, both as a bottom and as a top. Actually, it's one of those thing that is a big turn off for me.

But that has probably a lot to do with my personal history: i've worked a lot with survivor of abuse/rape, and one of my sibling has been raped. So yeah - rape is a little bit too close to my reality for me to be able to eroticize it.

BUT, I did once indulge a partner is something that was related to a rape scene. She had shared with me that one of her fantasies was to re-play her 'first time'. Her real first time had been somewhat abusive. By replaying it in a scene, re-writting the script along the way, she wanted to 'take it back', reappropriate the moment and make it a positive experience. So, one night, we did role-play it - something along the lines of Mommy/little girl thing. I was a little uneasy about it at first, but seeing as how she was enjoying herself, I eventually got into it, and we ended up having a really hot sex night.

Thank you DB.

 

[RJMasters]

Well technically I'm a sub, but I'm responding anyways 'cause... well, you'll see.

Rape fantasies are, I think, the ONLY times that I think/feel like a dom. I do have fantasies of me being the one raped/play-raped, but it is often me doing the raping, the forcing, and it really gets me off. Seriously, I do NOT identify as a dom in any other way, but fantasizing about forcing someone like that realllly gets me going.


Heather

Thank you Heather. It is interesting that you identify as a submissive but you have fantasies as the agressor in a rape scene type fantasy or foricing someone against their will. One would typically think that submissive fantasies of rape scenes are done with themselves being the one forced. Thank you for sharing your unique perspective.

 

[BareFootPagan]

Do any of you enjoy keeping your male subs Barefoot, even outdoors in public ?

 

[RJMasters]

When I first started this thread, It didn't even occur to me that I would have trouble getting responses from Domme only types. I am thankful for the responses that I have received and it lets me know that switch-types who can be mostly toppish do and can have rape fantasies, but I was hoping to direct the question at straight Dommes so that I could see realistically what % of Dommes as women had fantasies of being raped.

In part, I was reading this article about women and forced sexual fantasies, and this exert caught my attention into the language that was used...

------------
Forceful Sexual Fantasy Among Women

Force is a particularly common theme in sexual fantasies (Hariton, 1973; Hariton & Singer, 1974; Knafo & Jaffe, 1984; Marcus, 1981; Pelletier & Herold, 1988; Strassberg & Lockerd, 1998). In their study on women's sexual fantasies during intercourse, Hariton and Singer found submission fantasies to be very common, second in occurrence only to the theme of an "imaginary lover." In more recent studies of women's sexuality, more than half of the participants reported having force fantasies (Pelletier & Herold; Strassberg & Lockerd). In Knafo and Jaffe's study, the most common sexual fantasy entertained among women during intercourse was that of being overpowered.

An important difference exists between a desired forceful sexual fantasy and an undesired actual rape. Beyond the obvious difference that, in the former, no actual violation of body and will is experienced, the fantasist also has complete control, while a lack of control characterizes rape. Moreover, rape is fraught with the possibility of bodily harm or death of the victim. Research corroborates that women engage in these fantasies for the purpose of sexual arousal and pleasure, not out of desire for an actual rape or force experience (Bond & Mosher, 1986; Kanin, 1982). For example, Zurbriggen and Yost (2004) argued that there appears to be no relationship between submission fantasy and real-world behavior (e.g., desiring to be raped), given their findings that there was no connection between women's submission fantasies and various attitudinal measures assessing rape acceptance, negativity toward women, and belief in hostility between men and women.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_4_43/ai_n17094104

-------------------

The conclusion I took away after reading this part of the article was that this type of fantasy comes primarily through submissive leanings. That gave me pause to think about Dommes and whether or not that as women, if they too had sexual fantasies of being raped.