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Freya2 said:How pathetic that the first few responses to this were people saying there's no way to mend the problem. And we wonder why there's such a high divorce rate?
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raindancer said:I didn't say it was not mendable. I didn't say it should not even be considered. And having been married, I think I can speak with a little more conviction.
Rambling Rose said:Just a guess here but you're Spouse #1, right?
lavender said:If she is going through a divorce, it's none of your damned business. To throw someone's life decisions that we know absolutely nothing about in her face is ludicrous and mean-spirited.
Lost Cause said:A true test, think of the other spouse quickly. Do you smile, or frown? If you still think affectionally toward the other, you're in it for life. If the latter response happens, you're basically putting a deceased horse on a resusitator!![]()
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pagancowgirl said:Hmmm... ya think?
Dilly, Yes, it is. Next week?
Freya, I think the reason people are saying that it's not mendable is the fact that the problems have been there since the beginning of the relationship. How long would you suggest a person keeps compromising and giving in and adjusting before they decide to save themselves and walk away?
lavender said:*bratcat* - when you posted about your separation I posted that I was proud of you. Not once, have I thrown this decision in your face. The only life decision that I have criticized is your cheating on your husband. That is a black and white issue with me - cheating is wrong (unless you and your partner have made a decision that it is allowed).
So, get off the fucking pot/kettle kick. You're just trying to make yourself feel better by lumping others into your pathetic existence.
Raindancer, I apologize for the catty remark - you're right, it's rude of me to throw that in your face. However, I'd suggest to you that even if a person has never been married he or she may still have some valid points to be made regarding relationships in general. However, it seems as if this wasn't really a reach out for advice, but a reach out for support on a decision being pondered.
Freya2 said:*cue dramatic music*
And from the left, we see enter bodyguard number 2.
And you edited while I was posting so I'll hold mine.
Freya2 said:The essence of the first couple of posts seemed to be that while compromise is a good thing, it wasn't likely to work in this case. That was my read on them anyways, but of course I'll bow to your experience and wisdom. Aren't you in the midst of a divorce?
Freya2 said:Then I'd suggest that if someone is getting advice on the boards, they make that point clear. Are you looking for honest answers on how to help save a relationship, or validation for your decision to end it? Either way it's fine - whatever floats your boat. But you posted a scenario and asked for advice - if it was meant to be only directed towards those that know the full story, again you should have said so. When you post asking for advice, and others jump in saying that people can't change, or the situation can't be repaired, do you not see how others, not in the loop, might question their responses?
Vilac said:
Anyhow...it's a lot of babble on my part to simply say: I wish PCG the best, and my opinion is nothing more than yet another divorced member of the GB. With any amount of luck, she's dealing with someone who's more open minded than myself.
V~
pagancowgirl said:I did make the point that the relationship has been struggling since the begininng, I made that point in my first post. I'm aware that the chances of the relationship surviving are slim. Compromise isn't likely, because in order to 'give in' on the issues, one of us is going to have to be convinced that the way we think it should be done is the 'wrong' way.... not likely.
HOWEVER... I'm interested in any compromise that anyone can come up with. I don't want to be single. I shudder at the thought of having to find someone to spend my nights with when I'm lonely. Being a single mom doesn't sound all that fun to me... there are a lot of reasons to stay together... but that's not an option if we can't figure out where the middle ground lies. That's why I asked the question.
Thank you. And thank you to everyone else... all my 'bodyguardswho also wish the best. I appreciate it.
And finally *bump* for the after the holidays crowd.
http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/jawdrop.gifIshmael said:I hate to say this, but Lance was closer to the truth.
Mia62 said:...Thanks to you and your loser b/f and others...I now have an estranged husband who likes to stalk my posts and everyone who posts with me.