A Journey In Vulnerability

[porkyrocket69]

Yeah...you have a great smile.

 

[Youneverknow81]

Hey everyone.

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support!

Beautiful girl! Nothing can stop you!

 

[dchockeyman]

Hey everyone.

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support!

One smile, one day at a time. Then two. It’s how we survive.

 

[EndlessNameless]

Thanks. I'll bounce back, it's just going to take time.

And don't talk about the greys, that's how they multiply! The little buggers feed on attention.

It's amazing how things change with time.

Eh, they'd come out whether I like it or not.

 

[Elgirldani]

Yeah...you have a great smile.

Thank you

 

[Elgirldani]

Beautiful girl! Nothing can stop you!

Nothing but pizza. I always stop for pizza!

 

[Elgirldani]

One smile, one day at a time. Then two. It’s how we survive.

Wise words, my friend.

 

[Elgirldani]

It's amazing how things change with time.

Eh, they'd come out whether I like it or not.

Time heals all hurts, or so they say.

 

[Elgirldani]

Sweat It Out

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

 

[porkyrocket69]

Keep working hard...and flex those muscles!!!!

 

[AnalCreampieGiver]

Yup! Plus purple is my favorite color, lol. It's the little things.

Purple is one of my favorite colors

Especially royal purple

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

That is a great way to burn off frustration

Great photo and funky clothes!

 

[CanadianM]

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

Looking good, and always good to get those endorphins flowing..

 

[Elgirldani]

Keep working hard...and flex those muscles!!!!

That is a great way to burn off frustration

Great photo and funky clothes!

Looking good, and always good to get those endorphins flowing..

Thanks

 

[Dogoda]

Smiles are best when shared.
Pain and emotions are shared when we have trust. TY for sharing.

 

[QuietStrength]

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

Goid for you, sexy! Always nice to get some exercise! Majes you look great too! All rosey and flustered love the picture a lot!
Love,
Qs

 

[Todger65]

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

A nice healthy pink glow on you. Looks good

 

[simpledude]

wish i had those friends too

 

[Elgirldani]

Smiles are best when shared.
Pain and emotions are shared when we have trust. TY for sharing.

A nice healthy pink glow on you. Looks good

Thank you

 

[Elgirldani]

Goid for you, sexy! Always nice to get some exercise! Majes you look great too! All rosey and flustered love the picture a lot!
Love,
Qs

Thanks

 

[Elgirldani]

wish i had those friends too

Sometimes you find the friends you need in the strangest ways

 

[planetbeat_]

Hey, late post tonight! Work today was kind of frustrating, and long. I decided that I was going to do something good for me this evening when I got home, so I did a quick half hour on the treadmill. I need to not be such a lazy cat and do that more often, lol. I always feel so much better afterwards.

And looking spectacular

 

[Elgirldani]

And looking spectacular

Thanks

 

[Elgirldani]

A Flash In The Dark

Really tired tonight. Haven't slept well all week, not more then 3-4 hours a night, and not straight through. I have a lot of half formed thoughts in my head atm. Hopefully they don't keep me awake again tonight.

Yesterday ended on a really weird note, and I'm still waiting to see how that turns out.

That's about it, lol. I feel like a mess today, but I figure, if you're going to be a mess, at least be a hot mess! (I probably think that's way cuter/more clever then it really is due to exhaustion. Apologies, lol.)

 

[pumperguy191]

nice, very nice. quite sexy

 

[EndlessNameless]

Hey girl. Nice pic.

Oh yeah, I "suffer" from an overactive mind at times. Mainly when I'm trying to sleep. -_- I'm tired tonight too. I either sleep through my alarm this morning or turned it off while half asleep. I honestly can't even remember. At least on the weekend I don't have this pesky thing called a job forcing me to remove myself from bed. ;_;