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A Journey In Vulnerability

Elgirldani said:
Heaviness. My head drops, my neck feeling like it will break if I try to hold it up anymore.

Tremors. I clench the fingers of one hand in the other, because I can't stop the shaking but at least this way I can control it.

Gasping. An invisible band around my heart and lungs makes taking in enough air impossible.

Voices. In my head, telling me it's my own fault. That I didn't have to say goodbye, and that I shouldn't feel this way because I made that choice.

Pain. Bottled up inside, making me afraid of what I might do to try and get it out.
Click to expand...

More hugs and kisses beautifull girl, it will be allright...

Love,
Qs
 
Be strong and confident in the choices made.
Own them.
The bonds will break.

Hold your head high.
The sun rises every morning.
Let your face feel it's warmth.
 
Elgirldani said:
Heaviness. My head drops, my neck feeling like it will break if I try to hold it up anymore.

Tremors. I clench the fingers of one hand in the other, because I can't stop the shaking but at least this way I can control it.

Gasping. An invisible band around my heart and lungs makes taking in enough air impossible.

Voices. In my head, telling me it's my own fault. That I didn't have to say goodbye, and that I shouldn't feel this way because I made that choice.

Pain. Bottled up inside, making me afraid of what I might do to try and get it out.
Click to expand...

Beautifully sorrowful. Pained vulnerability in the most natural state of femininity imaginable
 
Elgirldani said:
Heaviness. My head drops, my neck feeling like it will break if I try to hold it up anymore.

Tremors. I clench the fingers of one hand in the other, because I can't stop the shaking but at least this way I can control it.

Gasping. An invisible band around my heart and lungs makes taking in enough air impossible.

Voices. In my head, telling me it's my own fault. That I didn't have to say goodbye, and that I shouldn't feel this way because I made that choice.

Pain. Bottled up inside, making me afraid of what I might do to try and get it out.
Click to expand...

Hopping you're ok:(
 
Elgirldani said:
Heaviness. My head drops, my neck feeling like it will break if I try to hold it up anymore.

Tremors. I clench the fingers of one hand in the other, because I can't stop the shaking but at least this way I can control it.

Gasping. An invisible band around my heart and lungs makes taking in enough air impossible.

Voices. In my head, telling me it's my own fault. That I didn't have to say goodbye, and that I shouldn't feel this way because I made that choice.

Pain. Bottled up inside, making me afraid of what I might do to try and get it out.
Click to expand...

The photo matches your words pretty well.

You sound as though you are in need of someone to assist manage your life at the moment until this passes.
 
Feeling Better

Hey everyone. :)

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support! :heart::heart::heart:

:cathappy:
 
Last edited:
Elgirldani said:
Hey everyone. :)

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support! :heart::heart::heart:

:cathappy:
Click to expand...

I'm happy to see this post and another great photo 😊

I hope everything does get all better for you

Ps. I noticed you're a ravens fan.. could be worse 😝 out of all of my teams enemies, I respect them the most.
 
AnalCreampieGiver said:
I'm happy to see this post and another great photo 😊

I hope everything does get all better for you

Ps. I noticed you're a ravens fan.. could be worse 😝 out of all of my teams enemies, I respect them the most.
Click to expand...

Thanks :)

Lol, hometeam and all that. But I'd be a fan anyway. They are scrappy, like me. :D

:cathappy:
 
Nice to see you come out of hiding. Our worst experiences often make us stronger and we can learn from them. I've had to learn a bit myself. Is this the part where I say I'm getting old? Eh, I don't know. I have the greys to prove it though.
 
Elgirldani said:
Thanks :)

Lol, hometeam and all that. But I'd be a fan anyway. They are scrappy, like me. :D

:cathappy:
Click to expand...

Anytime 😊

Ahhhh ok, that makes sense and I get why, a cool logo/team name and the all black alternate uniforms 😍

I will say that they are scrappy! 😂
 
EndlessNameless said:
Nice to see you come out of hiding. Our worst experiences often make us stronger and we can learn from them. I've had to learn a bit myself. Is this the part where I say I'm getting old? Eh, I don't know. I have the greys to prove it though.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I'll bounce back, it's just going to take time. :heart:

And don't talk about the greys, that's how they multiply! The little buggers feed on attention.:p

:cathappy:
 
Elgirldani said:
Hey everyone. :)

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support! :heart::heart::heart:

:cathappy:
Click to expand...
That smile looks beautifull on you, sexy. I hope you'll feel even better tomorrow and the days after!

Love,
Qs
 
Elgirldani said:
Hey everyone. :)

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support! :heart::heart::heart:

:cathappy:
Click to expand...

A beautiful photo.

A right mixed bag of emotions but as you say, day by day, hopefully you can find some order to them.
 
Elgirldani said:
Hey guys! Yesterday sucked. Like, I wanted to curl up and die, it was so bad. But today is a new day, my headache is gone, and I'm back to my sassy ways! :devil:

I'm taking today to reset, and get back in the right frame of mind to tackle the new week! We have some things that have been up in the air at work that should be resolved this week and so it should be an interesting one.

Hope you all enjoy your Sunday! :cathappy:
Click to expand...

Thanks for making my denim dreams! : )
 
Elgirldani said:
Hey everyone. :)

I know this thread has not been a happy place lately, and I wanted to apologize for that. As I said back at the beginning, this isn't just about posting photos for me, it's about sharing bits and pieces of myself and how I'm feeling.

Well, since this past Friday night, I've been feeling very sad, and hurt, and confused. I won't post what happened here, because I'm not the only person involved, but regardless of the details, you all have been witnessing the aftermath.

A major misconception about people who suffer from depression is that they don't care about anything. I've found the opposite to be true in my own life. I care too much, too quickly. So that when something goes wrong, that is when I'm at the most risk of having a depressive episode.

Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life, as far as my depression goes. Everything sort of piled on me at once, and I hit my limit. And it scared the shit out of me because in that moment I didn't know what I was capable of. But having that mental/emotional jolt ended up being a good thing, because it gave my brain a chance to reset, so to speak.

I won't lie and say everything is all better, because I'm still sad when I think about the situation, and still hurt over how it ended up, even though the decision to cut ties was mine in the end. But I was able to genuinely smile today, thanks to a couple of friends! It's still a one day at a time process to getting over what happened, but I can honestly report that, for today at least, I'm feeling better!

I want to say thank you to all of you for sticking with me through this, and for everything you posted to offer comfort and support! :heart::heart::heart:

:cathappy:
Click to expand...

It is nice to see a smile.. and do wish that I could give you a hug! Hang in there beautiful lady!!:rose::rose::rose:
 
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